Sunday, 25 April 2021

I AM LAZY... GOD PLEASE HELP

 

20210426 0823

 

I wish I can be like people who are always motivated and looking forward to Mondays… right now I am not, NOT in the slightest…
its not that I hate Monday, I just really prefer to not have to come to work… lolz… dasar ayat seorang pemalas… and truth be told, I don’t want to be pemalas..

I think apart of the reason that I feel so malas and have no mood to go to work is because of the work that I do now…

And I often wonder, what other job can I do, or should I do… what other jobs that can provide me with joy and will make me feel motivated and full of spirit, excited and look forward to coming to work..

I can give several answers to that, but there is none that I feel 100% confident that the feeling will not wither.. maybe I am just wired like that, meaning that I am wired to easily get bored and lose interest in something quite fast…

When I first started my Takaful advisor journey, I enjoyed it.. although there were a few times that I felt so leceh and frustrated, especially when the application got rejected or postponed due to health issues.. having to deal with deferment is very tiresome and not fun at all..

And that has led me to kind of lose interest in the industry altogether.. but I still have not completely stopped.. I just don’t do the prospecting thingy anymore coz I simply don’t like it… and I don’t feel the need now coz I have a full time job as an engineer..

I don’t entirely hate nor like my job as an engineer tho… it is Mondays like today that make me feel so malas to get to work and repeat the same cycle for the week, again and again.. which is the reason I get bored.. I still do go to work tho, otherwise, how else am I gonna afford life..

It is ramadan now, and I pray almost everyday, and every Friday during Friday prayers that I will be able to get rid of this laziness inside of me.. that I will find something that I thoroughly enjoy that I wont feel like I am working.. I so envy those who do…

But in the mean time, I just have to cope and bertahan… coz it don’t matter if I am bored or lazy or not in the mood… my bills don’t care about that, they will keep coming everytime…

One more thing that I will try starting from this new month, is that I intend to give more money to my parents… if before I give 300, 400, sometimes 500 to my mother only…

This month I want to give 500 to both my mother and father, and for duit raya, maybe 100 for each of them…

I hope with this giving attitude, Allah will grant me so much more in life, will grant my prayers and wish to be happy and rich, for my little family to grow healthy and happy and be successful and contributing citizens… eh skema pulak ayat…

Anyway, I think I know what I want to do today, and it is a lot… so until next time… later~~

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