ANOTHER RAYA POST

salam..

i think it was yesterday i tweeted that i had loads to talk about this year raya but had no time to do so..
now im home doing nothing.. i definitely have all the time today and tomorrow to do this entry, talking about what ever i want about the raya or other random things...

ok bosan...

i shouldve known raya kat KL itu bosan.. but i chose to believe differently hoping that random great things would happen on their own unplanned... but looks like they didnt happen, probably not going to.. but nvm, it was too much to ask for without effort..

ok digressed and meroyan tak ketentuan hala sangat repekan aku.. i will write whatever that i can remember about all the things i had wanted to talk about.. every single random thoughts that was on my mind on the eve of raya, 1st day and 2nd day of raya..

ok 1st, the bernas ad..

i know the ad is so sad, and after watching it i cried i admit to that..
also about this comment that afiq kechik made about the ad.
he tweeted that the ad was brilliant but us malays tend to be sad on hari raya that is supposed to be a joyous, audacious occasion. malays should celebrate not mourn..
but the weird thing in malaysia is that almost all tv programs, raya adverts would have sadness theme..
and that is true..
my comment?
i used to think like afiq kechik.. previously, i would totally agree with him.. that we should celebrate.. but now i think differently, not totally different just slightly..
yes we should celebrate, but the sadness is also apart of raya.
i do become sad when i think of the people who arent here anymore to celebrate. and we hear in the news about people who got killed in accidents and die just a few days before raya.
the sadness from losing your loved ones will feel like double, triple, however many folds when its raya time..
i guess thats why people get sad.
i went to visit the kubur in my kampung yesterday where my atuk, paksu and pak uda were burried. i got sad.
altho we lost them when i was still a kid, but from the look on my mothers face, i could imagine how much she misses them. i tried to put myself in her shoes and i cried too. i am yet to experience the lost of my close family members so i could only imagine and that was enough to make me eyes all red and watery..
so what im trying to say is.. i do understand why people get sad during raya.. its not a choice but it is apart of raya itself.. however being sad alone isnt enough.. sedekah alfatihah to them in their remembrance..

ok next thing i want to ramble on here..

petronas ad..

haih disappointment.
that ad would probably mean something to like 0.05% of Malaysians who work for petronas and had been sent to work in afghan, uzbekistan or wherever in the world.
i personally do not like it coz its so non-malaysian. it doesnt serve the major public's interest.
malay word for it is SYOK SENDIRI.. berapa ketul sangat la orang yg boleh relate to that kind of situation..
sedih!!! not in a good way

ok next i want to talk about raya and food.
maybe it has been a tradition, people preparing food during raya to serve the guests when they come visit. ok here i will say my opinion.

i think some people, most people are too excessive, luxurious and wasteful.. ok im not really sure what word to use.. too much is membazir..
on average 1 house would prepare rendang daging, rendang ayam, nasi impit/ketupat, kuah kacang, lemang and kuih muih. it is just like when breaking fast.. there are just too many food that will end up being dumped in thrash..

i do love all of them, but arent they just too much? it is the tradition, i know but cant we change it? or should we?
if its something to vote, id vote for yes, i think this tradition should change.
but then again its only like once a year, so maybe its okay.. ok now im confused..

but the fact remains, there are just too many food.. try to reduce the amount, if we can..
when im married, i will tell my wife not to be too excessive.. prepare just enough..

haha i think this is easier said than done, but we'll see..
ok teringat this question.."ekau bilo laie ni??"
when is my turn? haih la old people, asking me as if  i have the answer to that..
too many things to consider/to do/to get done before i can think of marriage..

ok off topic sikit, to ramble a bit on a non raya topic..

i want to get married, i do.. if i can afford it that is..
duit tak ada..
ok now i sound like the guy singing the song nak kawen duit tak ada.. sedih!!

nak bayar loan ASB, nak simpan duit beli rumah (downpayment, lawyers fee etc etc), nak kasi mak bapak (beli barang2 rumah and also save in tabung haji), nak bayar hutang MARA lagi..

belanja2 benda lain, duit minyak, installment kereta, service.. nanti roadtax la insurance lagi, nak kena tukar tayar, tukar battery, kena buat alignment la, balancing la.. blablabla..

duit internet, telephone, astro, sewa rumah bil air bil api..
makan minum lagi..

ok kalau nak jadi selfish, to include other miscellaneous items for myself,
nak bayar gym, nak beli protein, nak bayar kerusi urut, nak bayar kad kredit nak beli baju, seluar, kasut, perfume
nak pegi melancong, nak itu nak ini 

damn!!! pening kepala hokay..

caner nak simpan duit nak kawen??

haihs.. xpe la... buat je la mana yg mampu..
meroyan kat sini pon bukan ada pekdah..

baca doa dhuha la kasi murah rezeki

nak cakap pasal benda lain la..

yesterday i followed my family go back kampung in Kuala Pilah,
i was listening to their conversation and i learned something.

there are 2 makcik at the kampung who are cousins to each other. they are not talking to each other anymorel.. because of what??

pasal berebut tanah!!! sedih jugak la bila fikir2 balik..

tanah tu asal nyer kepunyaan mak kepada makcik A, then her mother died, the tanah turun ke mak makcik B which is the younger sister  of mak makcik A.

then mak makcik B died and the war to decide the tanah belongs to whom began.. why not just devide the tanah equally?

this is how the feud started. makcik B which from what people say is a greedy bitch. she already has the tanah which was left by her mother, so supposedly the tanah left by mak makcik A, which later on was passed to mak makcik B should go back to makcik A, coz initially it was from her mother..

but this greedy makcik B also wants to claim this tanah because she said her late mother had given the tanah to her, altho the tanah was not hers to give.. on paper yes it was hers but bitch please, u and makcik A used to be sisters kot.. and u already have the tanah left by your mother, perlu ke nak berebutkan tanah yg mak makcik A left for makcik A when you already have your share...

susah kan bila bertanah2 ni orang jadi tamak sampak lupa sedara mara..
mungkin kalau tanah tu tak tinggi nilai sangat tak la sampai cani kot.. ni tanah tu kebun getah kan... so mmg berebut la..

i side with makcik A coz it was her mothers to begin with.. mak makcik B shouldve returned the tanah to makcik A when she died but decided to give to her daughter pulak.. aish!!

hahahaha now i feel like i'm one of those makcik2 bergossip.. but the different is i am gossiping with myself in this small blog of mine..
may it be of some sort of lesson to us not to be greedy..

makcik A told my mum. when she went to tarawih, after done with solat, she saw makcik B at the saf behind her and wanted to salam, makcik B left just like that... owh what a bitch.. bulan puasa kot...

and makcik B is younger, so she should apologize.. dont be so greedy bitch!!!

ok enough with greedy makcik B, i want to talk about something else..

i know up there i did say something about excessive food and i said we should not be wasteful..

but the truth is, i have a fair share of wasting too..
ok maybe its not wasting yet since its still edible and not spoiled yet.. i will consider it as wasteful if its too much and nobody eats it and then buang macam tu jer pasal da rosak..

ok what i want to say is, i made cornflake madu and kek batik.. hahaha malas nak letak gambar sini but my cookies and cake is not bad la.. considering how i so seldom make those kan..
kek batik first time and i didnt even follow the recipe... buat sesuka hati jer.. just how i used to cook when i was overseas..

haaaa now i remember about this other thing i wanted to talk about...OMG this post is so long alredy.. haha

the 1st day of raya, we went to my fathers siblings houses.. mak ngah, paklong taha, mak lang rokan, then to makchik yot in palong 4, and at night after maghrib went to paktam's at palong 11..

haha i had wanted to take photos at all places but... hmmm.... but i didnt... why didnt i??
maybe i didnt want to seem like poyo sangat? or trying too hard?? or sibuk2 lak semangat nak amek gambar??
haih!! i think too much of what people might say i end up not doing what i want to do... that is sooo not me.. the old me/or should i say the younger me wouldve done it nonchalantly without caring what other people say... tapi nowadays taktau la asal i would opt not to stand out, care too much??
hmmm... need to change this...
haih, maybe next year..

ok digressed a bit. heres the actual thing i want to talk.

the night of the 1st day of raya we had spent at achik yot's house at palong 4.
there i met with abang kincam.. i think his real name is hisham but people have been calling him kincam since i could remember.. he's actually maklangs son but he'd been living with achik yot since he was small..
when i was a preschooler, 5 or 6 years old like that, he used to live with us in wangsa maju.
i think he stayed for a few months before moving out renting somewhere else..
after he left, i barely know of his existence. Years went by and i didnt know if he was still alive or not nor whatever happened to him..

so i learned a few things about him that night.. he got married, then divorced.. go kids i think but i dont know how many.

i also learned that he had been using drugs.. haish... masalah typical lelaki melayu di kampung2..
and he is still using, so they say.. coz he was skinny..
i think they are right, him that i remember used to be muscular (when i was a kid he was like 20+ i think)
ok admit, time kechik aku nak badan macam dier.. hahaha..

but that night he was alone at the corner of the room and noone seemed to care about him.. haish that is so sad..
my pakcik Nor (achik yots husband) said he caught him using drugs in the house when they were gone. achiks son named apak (now an arwah innalillah..) had brain cancer and had to undergo brain surgery so they all spent most of the time at hospital. when pakcik nor came home, people nearby were telling them of how abg kincam had made their house a drugs center.. he'd have his frens come over and do drug there when achik's family was not around..
so when he was caught, pak nor (achik yot's husband) got really mad and even tried to hit him with a parang.. chased him out of the house.. but for raya, he let kincam come back la.. only for raya.. ok la kot..

when i saw him like that, i just felt.. haih sedihnyer hidup macam ni..
anak-anak pon takda ngn kita.. bini lari..
family pon taknak terima..
why oh why must he use drugs..

he calls achik yot mak altho his real mum is maklang.. but ive never seen him and maklang in the same room together.. so i asked my kak why hes calling achik yot mak and not maklang..

so my sister story me la, when he was born maklang family had series of misfortunes, so they believed that kincam was the bringer of bad luck, bawa sial la orang melayu cakap..
haih sedih sungguh..

so maklang had given him to be raised by nenek (my dads mum)... when he was 10 or 11 nenek died and achik took him in, so thats why he calls achik mak, i think..

haih la orang melayu... anak bawa sial?? i could only shake my head when i heard this..

hes not the only one in his family whose life got destroyed by drugs.
his eldest brother named amran, whom we all call wak tembe was/is also using drugs... he got divorced also, and now living a sad life alone, maybe with occasional visits from his sons and daughters..

sedih la bila tahu kisah2 orang macam ni.. it teaches us not to take drugs or even try it.. oh tuhan pelihara la aku dan keluarga ku dari benda haram tu..

okla aku rasa for this time.. im tired actually.. rasa cam nak take a nap sebentar..

kalau ada orang yg baca this post, semoga dapat amek what iktibar there may be.. ada otak fikir la mana baik buruk kan..

saya bukan orang sempurna, takda orang yg sempurna tapi kita sama2 la cuba jadi lebih baik dari sebelum nyer..

kalau ada apa2 yg aku rasa nak bebel lagi sini, aku post lagi.. haha..
tapi now aku da letih la, mata da bepinar2.. haha..
till next time..
later~~

hari malas di office

Omg harini saya sangat tidak ada mood nak kerja

Saya rasa macam nak tidur jer sekarang.

Alangkah bagusnya kalau la sekarang ni saya boleh balik ke rumah dan tidur dan tidur dan tidur.

Harini hari last kerja, hari esok hari last puasa. Lepas tu aku akan cuti 3 hari, im so looking forward to not having to think about anything but food and how to lose weight after eating so much food during raya

Saya sangat malas nak kerja

Saya rasa agak tension pasal orang tua tu cakap berbelit2, pasal dier tak paham, and dier cakap aku tak paham, when I explained to him he didn’t want to believe me, in fact he asked the supplier who said of the same thing but he still adamant wanting to see the quotation from supplier,

Then he said the suppliers I got quotation from previously didn’t quote competitively, I was like, “are you serious bitch??”

But there's no point arguing with him, its his company so just keep quiet and be dumb, let him do all the talking, when he’s pleased he’ll leave me alone. I think. I hope.

 it seems like there is going to a meeting in regards to csc renewals project which I seem not to care anymore nowadays. I don’t know if I will attend but I think yeah I will. The other old guy probably want me to join also so that he'd have someone to point fingers to, should there be any finger pointing to do

ahh bosan nya..
sometimes i think about how my lifes gonna be like if i quit my job. and its horrid. so nak taknak kena la sabar dan buat je keje.

quitting doesnt solve problems.

persevere and tawakal insyallah..

ok aku nak check email yg melambak ni

later~~~

ratu meratukan

haha..

i will make it short this one..
but who knows kan.. kadang2 tu bila aku cam da syok menaip panjang jugak jadinyer post ni nnt..

budak2 ni zariq odie samem sapek cadon pasha sola ki n aku sumer cam plan nak pi bukak posa kat kg baru steak house, tapi samem yg belanja la pasal die businesman berjaya..

so kat whatsapp da mula la mengajak2 budak2 ni..

aku ngaku aku yg mulakan bila aku tanya odie, "ratu texas tu x join ke?"
*ratu texas merujuk kepada sola pasal die keje kat texas instrument..

pastu budak2 ni sumer nak meratukan diri masing2.. ratu honda la, ratu airasia la ratu toyota, ratu ranhill.. odie ialah ratu master pasal dier sorang je ada master..

haha i know not many people will find this funny but i do.. i think its hilarious..
and the fact that cadon knew MOJ (short for Mak On Jer) earlier than i did is really shocking as well.. haha one word... EXPOSURE..

for sure die lagi terdedah kepada golongan2 sebegitu walaupon die bukan sebegitu.. *paham2 sendiri la kan
and when he used MOJ dgn kitorang, haha mmg lawak.. 

anyhow, theres another thing yg made me LOL hard..

hahaha theres nothing really funny about the photo, but the comments and the tags are hillarious...
yg paling TBB is kak long si puteri siam

sila baca sendiri..
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1351610507114&set=a.1351537265283.202481.1136914636&type=1&theater&notif_t=photo_comment


this is another memory and i find it very funny, probably will be funny till we all grow old..
this photo is from 2008 if im not mistaken.. that is 4 years ago..

the chances are, even after 10 years, its still gonna be funny..
if not to anybody else, it is and will be to me..

owh another thing,
i went for an aptitude test at mesiniaga today, i had to take EL..

actually i didnt have to, but i knew if i hadnt, then Wai Kok Le wouldve wanted me to follow him to Klang for that meeting and i wouldnve been able to go for the test..
so i took EL for the whole day..
it also allowed me to wake up at 11 this morning... a bliss~~

the test was quite difficult.. and there were 120 questions, 1 point for each asnwered correctly, and -0.25 point deduction for every wrong answer.. hahaha thats new to me...

so end up mmg byk la soalan yg aku tak jawab tadi...

i just hope for the best, but i am kind of reluctant to work there since its further from my house and working at a new place means having to make new friends, learn new things and get used to new environment yadayada...

well, it cant be all bad i think.. mana tau aku berjumpa jodoh di sini..

doakan yg terbaik..

okla, i want to resume watching voleyball wanita gagah ni..
brazil vs russia..

im rooting for russia of coz, but brazil seems more dominant... da sumer macam jantan aku tgk..
russia jugak chantek2 belaka..

haa cakap chantek, aku nak post gambar ni jugak...

hahahaha dikatakan kami nampak muda dan suchi...

chanteque sangat yuols!!!

kthxbye

twas my birthday a few days ago.
browsed facebook to see those birthday wishes.
as fb now has timeline, i had the urge to see back what was on 2009 and saw 2 videos..
heres one of em..

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=141904351637&notif_t=video_comment_tagged

it made me teary eyed... things arent gonna be the same anymore..
i miss it all so much..
knowing that its something that i prolly am never gonna experience again made me even more sad..

but i know sad i shouldnt be but of course utmost gratitude to God that I got to experience that.. the sweetness we shared being friends, more than just friends, almost a family..

but i keep my fingers crossed that one fine day we'll get to gather together and just have fun like we did..
until then all the best people in whatever you do..

25 tahun

haaa bosan nyer hari sabtu pon kena keje.. mencik!!!

now aku kat opis, macam xda keje je, except for circuitry for csc renewals ni, which i will do later..
right now im just not in the mood. what im in the mood of right now is to go home and watch tv, watch Olympics opening that i missed this morning.
the plan was that id get up and sahur and watch the opening, but i didnt get up.
too tired?
forgot?
the pillow too good to get away from?

haha maybe a lil bit of everything of the above..

tak sahur this morning, but nvm im not hungry. maybe im just the kind of person who is ok if i do not sahur. ok what is sahur in english? early breakfast?

nvm, not important.

a few things to ramble on here.
last night i watched the iron lady starring the awesome meryl streep. oh god she showed tremendous talent in the movie when she plays margaret tatcher, UK PM from 1979 to 1990.
shes just really good, from the wat she walks talks shes magnificent.
and altho ive never really known margaret before.. i probably have heard of the name before but never really cared of who she really was.
but seeing meryl streep in the movie made me have the utmost respect for the true iron lady mrs tatcher herself.. and of coz ever more respect to miss streep who is just so awesome in every movie shes in..
shes in devil wears prada, so good.
then the movie with alec baldwin.. awesome..

haha ok2.. tak perlu la nak panjang lebar talking about her talent, greatness etc.

now moving on to the real deal.

tomorrows my birthday.. haha macam best jer.. i think its weird that i feel excited now.. unlike previous years, i didnt really the excitement compared to now.

maybe its because im getting older?
and at 25 year old, which the prime age for any guy, i am just more excited from before?
nonsense..

wah talking about being 25, i remember that time when i was turning 20 i did write a post about being a 20 sumthing guy and i felt really different like i was growing up, not a child no more.. and now the mutual, sort of the same feeling i have that im turning 25..

time flies.. and in the past 5 years, ive earned my degree, got a job as a technician, then sort of promoted to consultant. still working for the same company.. waiting till im ripe enough to test market at other companies, and hopefully make a fortune with the leap

ok put that aside, still a long way to go before im ready for that.

back to talking about getting older..
and of coz lifes goals?





hahaha the above portion i wrote it when i was at the office, the of coz i got distracted, got pulled into a meeting that i didnt want to join, and in the end it all left unfinished..

not everything must have an ending(true?)

especially now im home in WM and waiting to bukak puasa in 1 hour.. and my body so penat.. i will just post it as it is..

later~~

ya allah tekanan nyer sekarang ni

aku berada dalam situasi yg sangat menekankan perasaan.
sumer benda pon aku rasa macam fighting, acting against me..
sumer benda takda, tak menjadi, rosak, hilang.. adeh pening kepala

arini aku balik wangsa maju pasal 1st day puasa aku mmg nak balik la. lagipon pasal da lama tak balik aku rasa mmg patut balik kalau x nnt mak merajok jadi anak derhaka pulak.

aku bawa laptop keje n laptop peribadi. tujuan pasal nak buat keje la kononnyer and pasal i told my coleage id email her my portion of the proposal bla3..

nothing much happen siang tadi pasal aku membuta je la taktau la kenapa bila puasa ni rasa mengantuk makin menjadi2. lagipon kalau tak leh makan apa je la aku boleh buat kat umah tu kan.. dgn budak2 ni berebut nak main ipad bagai.

ok malam ni lepas bukak posa aku lepak2 then teringat akan keje yg aku kena buat nak bagi ke coleague aku tu.

aku pon bukak la laptop keje aku tu. then aku perasan yg power cord laptop ni takda.. what the hell?? where the hell?? aku sangat yakin aku da masokkan dalam beg aku befoe balik tadi.. damn!! i couldnt find it.
then i thot its okay i can copy the files to usb drive and do the work on my own laptop.. shit happen i couldnt find the file so i wanted to dload from my email, outlook.. so aku bukak outlook, tetiba die cam suruh aku register pekejadah masukkan whatever code that i didnt know of.. last2 aku takleh bukak my email.. xleh nk dload the stupid file
a
and tup2 la pastu laptop keje aku tu mati habis power.. ni sumer pasal si aleya tu on siang tadi pastu dier tak shut down properly dier main tutup lead jer.. abes la power..

so kekdah nyer sekang aku kat kdai oldtown dgn laptop aku tgh dload dari email server aku email2 yg bersaiz 1.8 gb
macam tak logic x masok di akal jugak..
sebab da lama x bukak email sini so mmg berlambak la kan..
then i thought kalau bukak ka webmail sure lagi cepat..
then baru sedar webmail perlukan password aku yg aku taktau apa..
argh!!1 banyak nyer masalah..
so nak taknak kena la tunggu die dload email ni pulak..

nak dijadikan cerita lagi, bertambah masalah aku..
internet kat oldtown sri rampai ni bangang.. mada putus2 jer... so kekdah nyer aku da 3 kali kna refressh email ni pasal internet tu putus dier tak reti nak sambung otomatik gamaknyer... haddoi banyak nyer masalah
ni baru nak dapatkan file ni.. belom mula buat keje lagi pon... haddoi la..
lantak la.. kalau sampai ke subuh aku kat sini pon sampai ke subuh la.. lagipone sok aku takda apa2 aktiviti pon kot..
except for pasang langir mak, kena drill2 bagai.. which i will need to buy the drill bit kat kedai hardware pesumer.. damn!! at times like this i wish i were still a kid, minum susu je tau.. haha

okla sampai di sini saja.. saku sangat tension pasal terlalu banyak perkara yg tidak menyebelahi aku sekang ni..
terima kasih la ada blog boleh jugak meluahkan perasaan.. kalau ada awek aku luahkan kat awek tapi takda nak buat caner.. luahkan kat diri sendiri je la

okla bye
later~~

wah bersawang da kot ni..

salam..

oh god da lama nyer tak update blog.

dan byk betol benda nak citer.. ok satu2 aku citer..

harini majlis reception my abang tarmizi with his wife cik timah..
their nikah was last week held at pontian.. my whole family went there..

todays kenduri was ok2 je nothing much yg compelling or good enough to me to be shared here
owh just one thing..
the pakcik catering who prepared food for the event looked like my arwah pakngah.. my cousins and anak buahs were sad and some even shed tears when they saw the pakcik catering.. they took photos and hugged each other.. i cant really imagine how that felt like.. id be mostly i think.. but maybe quite happy also.. seolah2 melepaskan kerinduan?? hmm.. dunno.. macam tu lah..

all in all, it was an okay ceremony.. all went on as planned and thats good i think.. altho it could also mean boring for me coz ive alwasys had a flare for unpredictable and spontaneous things.. today lacked of those so i say its just..so so..

to hell la to what i think kan.. its my brothers reception kot.. not mine.. so nak sibut pehal kan aku ni..

ok ill move on to talk about other things in my life
the gintell massage chair had arrived.. awesome stuff.. i sit on it like 30 minutes everyday since i got it... after gym, id go take my shower and just sit on the chair and enjoy the massage.. although i had wished for the more expensive type for it could massage my buttock as well but i couldnt buy that one so its ok.. ill just massage my buttock myself.. maybe in a few years when i can afford the more expensive one ill buy it then.. maybe by then there will be other types which are way better from that one kan..

ok nak cakap sikit pasal kerja..

lately im super busy.. like crazy busy everyday like that..
 ni aku cuti friday n saturday email da penoh keje menunggu di office.. but for now i dont want to care about them yet.. i will start on monday 9 pm when i ought to work..
 ok malas nak cakap lebih2 la xda pekdah..

haa teringat this one thing i want to talk here.. merely just sharing my opinion.. altho perhaps id be sharing it with myself only here but nvm itsokey..

i was in the car listening to capital fm and heard this social service reminder/message that talked about kesaksamaan gender.. or something like that..
the first one was about educating our children.. basically what i can conclude from the reminder was that it is okay to let our kids be who they want to be.. let them be kids to discover where their niche / the kind of persons they want to be etc etc..
and also saying something like never teach our boys to hate pink love blue, not to play with dolls only cars guns etc..
i wish i can find the whole text that i heard in the radio and post it here.. but i cant..
not that i cant i just didnt even try to google it.. sebab aku malas.. and i dont think it matters.. after all this is for me eyes only right?
well to me they were right to a certain extent.. in some things it is okay to let our kids be free and discover the world, discover their likings and interests in the world..
but that does not mean we ought not to interfere with their life.. we are here to guide them to be good people.. letting them exploring their individuality is vital but it can also be misleading should we take it for granted..

i will use myself and people around me as an example to support my statement.
i am a soft person, a sissy. i know that.. ive known that fact since standard 2 when the kids at school started calling me pondan, lembut, bapok etcetra.. and it hurt back then.. it nearly killed me but thank God i survived, but not with little difficulty..
ok digressed a bit..
i know i was born this way.. but my parents had never allowed me to be soft.. and yes there were times when even my dad called me lembut and oh god i wanted to cry.. but i didnt.. i toughened up.. in fact what he said made me want to be more of a man, walk talk like a real man.. or like other men.. so i wouldnt feel so excluded.. i tried to suppress my flamboyance attitude and control my actions in public.. i befriended boys who were not soft.. i have my abang tarmizi to thank for this.. if it hadnt been for him, id never have normal boy friends growing up.. and if it werent for my dad, my sis (my whole family la senang citer) maybe i wouldve ended up like some sissy kids who played with girls and in the end of the day didnt hesitate to dress like a girl, get boob jobs, become hookers, mak ayam etcetra..

ok back to what i was trying to say.. parents should be wary and look after their kids development while they still can.. melentur buluh biar dari rebung is very true indeed.. help your child be the person you and everybody will be proud of in the future..
dont say bullshit like "even if my son is gay im still proud of him"
thats just bulls.. when the time comes u realize your gay son will never have their own children, then u can go fuck your pride of.. orang melayu kata, time tu jgn kau nak menangis tak berlagu..

be the parent.. being parent does not mean to only SUPPORT what your children choose.. but to GUIDE them as well.. and also punish when they do wrong..

well unless if really dont care how they turn up, then suit yourself la.. but atleast have the civic awareness to not let your children become psychopaths sudah la..  or worse a homicide killing hundreds in a locked supermarket.. *random

so to whomever reading this, just know that being parent is not easy.. that day you decide to become a parent is the day you are putting someone else's importance ahead of your own.. thats when your child safety, well being etcetra comes first in your life... so everybody, think thoroughly and make the decision wholeheartedly..
children are not like school or work assignments.. they are your responsibilities for life..

ok sangat random aku da jadi fadzilah kamsah pulak malam2 ni..

damn byk nye nyamok pulak ni haddoi..

ok da sakit tengkok menaip bongkok ni.. till next time later~~