20220919 0850 updates

 20220919 0850

Not sure but I feel like I want and need to vent today, this Monday morning

Maybe because its Monday and I have the worst Monday blues.. last Friday was a public holiday, the 16th of September.. meaning I have been off work for 3 days.. and that would entail the next working day, which is today.. my mood for work would be non existent.

Hence, this strong need to just write things out.. although I am not exactly sure what topic I want to bebel today.. maybe just some random things.. so whatever comes to mind la eh.

GV

So last night being a Sunday night, the first concert for GV9 took place

Okay2 je la.. takda la gempak sangat.. I watched the whole show and I am quite entertained ler.. biasa2 jer.. as expected jaclin victor got 1st place for the 1st show ni.. but I think her performance biasa2 saja.

Other than Jaclyn, I am also rooting for bob mesra.. and I agree with what shafinaz said about bobs talent being underappreciated.

That’s just how the world is kan.. anyhow, I hope bob will do better and place better in following weeks.

Mcm xda apa yang menarik sangat pun pasal GV, but it’s the 1st thing on my mind so here it is.

RPDR Down Und

So the 2nd season of Down Under RPDR just concluded last Saturday and I am content with the winner.. I have even posted an IG story about it.. spankie Jackson was not my 1st pick.. if anyone, it was probably kween kong.. but over the course of the season, seeing how it unfolded, there is no denying that spankie deserves the win

I also like the storyline she carried with her.. about moving back to Palmerton north from 12 years in Melbourne just so she could take care of her dad.. about her working with children.. I feel like that’s a plus point.. and how she sees herself after coming back to palmy, where the drag scene is probably none, compared to Melbourne.

But above all, I am happy because again, it’s a winner from NZ.. although Aus is known to have major drag scene, much bigger than NZ I guess.. when kita mean won the 1st season, I thought this is odd, and probably may never happen again.. now with 2 winners from NZ, surely they will boast about it comes the 3rd season.. and I am sure Aus will win the next season.

Even kween kong is from south Auckland nz.. although originally shes from samoa/tonga.. but she said shes worked in south Auckland before..or lived there.

Okla enough about that.. next!

The below section is written on 20 sept 2022.. I stopped halfway yesterday coz I had some work to do.. so I am resuming it today coz ive got some other things to talk about

Living as a single pare

I feel like I shouldn’t even write about this.. but since its been on my mind quite often these days so I just write je lah.. lagipun, I don’t see the harm in it.. its not that I wish for it.. its something on my mind, and I just want to get it out jer..

Coz right now my wife is pregnant with out 3rd child and I cant help to shake this thought what if the undesirable happen and I am left to raise our 3 children on my own.

Omg to be honest I am scared.. and worried.. that’s a HUGE responsibility.. I don’t even want to think about it.. but being a reasonable and practical person, I feel like I should give it a thought.

How would my life be if that was to happen kan.. lagipun, death is a confirmed thing, Cuma lambat atau cepat je.. so we shouldn’t really fear death, hence having this thought is probably a good thing.. atleast I have this little preparation.

Will I still be working or will I be a stay at home dad? I think I will still go to work as usual.. life has got to go on la kan.. no matter how hard and challenging... but I think I will probably take a month leave kot... I dunno

What breaks me the most is when I think about my daughter who is so manja with her ibu and that will be devastating, when she misses her mother and asks where her mother is.. I will surely menangis meraung2 nanti.. but I have to be strong for them.. and teach them about takdir and qada and qadar.. verily, everything that happens is Gods will and we have to have faith that it’s the best for us.

And I will teach my children and tell them to always send prayers to their mom, each time solat.. insyallah doa anak2 beriman akan sampai ke ibu bapa mereka.

Another question that’s on my mind.. will I remarry?

For now I don’t think I will.. but at the same time I am not one to oppose takdir and jodoh.. if I am destined to remarry, and theres someone who can accept me flaws and all, then I will.. but I wont be looking for it la.. if it happens, it happens.. mcm tu je.

Where will I be staying?

I am not sure, I think I will just stay at jalilmas.. maybe I will ask my parents to stay with me.. or maybe I will move back to wangsa maju.. well it depends, most probably will move to wangsa maju and see how things are.. I think it will be to hard for me to live in RJ coz theres too much memories… so better move to wangsa maju.. if not comfortable then I will move back to jalilmas.. lagipun I feel bad coz if I moved to wangsa maju, it will be burdening my mak to take care of my children pulak.. but at the same time, I will be with my parents to look after them.. anak2 I will send them to school la.. xda la dok umah jer.. so this one is quite hard.. but like I said.. if we come to that bridge, then only we will cross it.. for now I guess, I will probably move to wangsa maju with anak2.

What will I do with my wifes belonging?

I guess I will donate the good ones to charity.. like her clothes, shoes, bags etcetra.. or if my parents in law or her sisters want them, I will just give to them la kot.. kereta arus tu I will continue using la kot.. takda la nak jual ke.. pakai je lah… kereta putih tu maybe aku akan jual.. walaupun sayang, tapi nak buat apa pulak ada byk2 kereta kan

Owh lupa pulak… what about the money from the takaful and insurance?

I think I will just dump them in ASB je la kot and let it grow… kalau ada lebih I will buy another property with cash money and just rent it out… atleast ada la continued income.. itu je la kot

Okla cukup2 la tu fikir pasal bende ni.. lets move to another topic pul

Living overse

Ni pun da banyak kali terlintas kat kepala.. I think me and my wife pernah je have conversations about it.. and we both want to, cuma maybe not now.. coz our parents are still living, and I think seelok2 nya we should spend as much time as possible with them.. maybe in the future when they are no longer with us, masa tu kita dah stable, atau lebih stable.. duit savings pun da banyak, then we can really plan to live overseas

My country of choice right now is Canada.. i like the country coz its similar to NZ in many ways, and the country is known to be very welcoming to immigrants.. and its cold there.. like really cold.. I don’t know if I will like the cold when I get there.. but for now, I will choose cold over hot anytime

Another country that I kinda want to move to is probably Scotland.. yes its apart of the UK, but from what I gathered, the lifestyle in Scotland is very different compared to London.. and I prefer a non busy place for living.. but Canada is still no 1.. haha.

Talking about living overseas kan… coz at the moment both my wife and I work for MNCs

Shes with Axens and I am with Bureau Veritas,  I think it will be an advantage and a plus point la should we want to seek work opportunities overseas in the future… insyallah kalau ada rezeki and opportunity, it will happen… tapi kena la kumpul experience dulu… atleast more than 5 years.. insyallah boleh

Medical Check

This talk about living overseas has made me think about the last medical checkup I had at KKKL.. I think everything is okay, except for my high cholesterol and the high level of creatine(kidney function) in my blood

The cholesterol thingy I think I know why… its because I have been eating fast food like McDonalds so often lately and very seldom workout at the gym.. so I guess I know what I have to do to bring the cholesterol level down la.. insyallah I will restrain myself from eating McDonalds for now until my cholesterol level is back to normal.. and I will do cardio every time I hit the gym.. and hopefully that will be a daily thing... one can only hope.

Another thing is the creatine level.. I think it was really high during the checkup coz I was taking this supplement creatine, which I thought would help me with my workout.. coz I read about its uses and its suppose to help with increasing strength and therefore will improve my workout sessions.

I guess, I should really change the way I see workout, previously I thought having more strength, thus lifting heavier weights is important.. I guess I was wrong.. more importantly is to do it consistently, with lighter weight... the strength will develop over time.. so okay lah.. lepas ni kita angkat ringan2 jer.. tapi takda la ringan sangat.. sesedap rasa je la.. maybe I should focus on endurance more, hence do more cardio… aku bukan nak sangat badan sado.. aku nak kurus je buat masa ni.. I really want to get rid of my belly fat.. huhu

And yes, I should have calorie deficit everyday… and that means to control what I eat… haha easier said than done, I know… but I have to try… eat more vegies and fruits.. lets go!

Owh just to share here… after the checkup, then after 2 weeks I went to see the doctor to discuss about the results… and coincidently, my dad had to do x ray at the same KKKL so I took him with me on the same day… he was done with the x-ray much earlier so I asked him and my mum to go home first, while I wait for my turn to see the doctor for my checkup

And this has caused my mum to get worried… obviously, I have never told them about my condition and me having to do this medical checkup got them really concerned, especially my mum…

I just told them about the high cholesterol and the creatine situation je lah.. and technically its not lying kan... huhu… I love my parents so much

So the next check up will be somewhere in November or December… and fingers crossed, hopefully itll be all okay by then

I guess that’s it for now… so until next time… toodles

~~…… …!…....up…….…..asak…?…?.?.?..…... nt..!.....er......9....

I guess that’s it for now… so until next time… toodles~~

Sedikit coretan dan bebelan...

 

20220607 0820

 

Its been quite a while since my last post.. ada la beberapa perkara yg berlaku tapi aku mcm malas dan takda masa nak update.. juo aku rasa mcm xda motivasi nak update.. but today is different.. when I woke up I had this feeling mcm nak meluahkan something.. nak bercerita.. and if I’m being honest, theres no other person or means that I think is better than my old blog for me to vent and talk about all the randomest things in my life.. so without further ado, here they go..

 

1.       Contract Ending but still no offer

 

It’s something that’s troubling me of course and I have mixed feelings about this..

On one side I feel like it will do me some good to take some time out and just unwind.. but unfortunately since money is tight, I just cant afford to.. so not having another offer is definitely worrying.. but I know I shouldn’t dwell in the worry but to keep applying and checking jobsites for new openings..

Nothing much that I can say about it, I just worry and I pray that I will not give up and a new offer will surface soon.. insyallah

 

2.       Apply keje semula dekat powerware

 

2 weeks ago I submitted an application to rejoin PWS, and the new HR called me for a phone interview and I felt like it went well.. then she sent an email for me to rank my ability on technical matters.. some I knew and some I didn’t.. I just answered them all honestly…

Last week Friday I sent an email to follow, to which she replied that she will check with the hiring manager..

 The idea of rejoining PWS is not my first choice TBH but I know I can do the job..

The reason that I am reluctant to join is because I’ve done it before and I am worried that I might get bored easily.. but beggars cant be choosers kan.. so just suck it up la and just do the damn thing…

 

I don’t know why but I just have this feeling that they don’t want me back pun.. the reason that the HR called me was because she doesn’t know me.. but all the senior people there know me and I feel like I am not wanted there.. so that’s that.. but whatever it is, I will just accept.. and as per what I said before.. to never give up…

 

3.       Interview with AEG Singapore and the idea of PJJ

Also happened last week, I had a teams call interview with AEG, the 1^st one with the global recruiter but I am not sure where he’s from, probably Germany because of his accent..

Then the 2^nd interview with the team from SG..

Just now I checked my email and saw an update for this application, an auto reply from linkedin..

“Unfortunately we will not proceed yadayada…”

Honestly I feel disappointed but I just have to keep going la kan..

Maybe its for the best.. if I got offered the position, there are still so many uncertainties..

1^st being the technical aspect of the job, having to learn about UPS systems and I feel like I am just too old to learn new things.. I am not opposed to learning them though, I just know that it’s going to be challenging..

2^nd being that the position is in SG and I would have to be away from my family, its definitely something that I don’t look forward to… but like I said before, beggars can be choosers kan… if I got the job and had to do PJJ with my family I guess I will just have to do it la.. but now I know its not happening, so its fine.. why bother pun kan..

3^rd being the condition that I am now, I just know that its quite impossible for me to work there.. I don’t want to elaborate further because, what’s the point pun kan…

But just to share la, I had thought about how my life was going to be, doing PJJ, having to travel often and only go back home once every 2 3 months, being single away.. far from my wife and kids.. I guess its for the best kan.. the idea of being away for long period of time from my family is not what I want pun…

4.       Nak jadi artis boleh x??

Kalau dah susah2 sangat takda keje boleh x nak jadi artis je.. jadi pelakon ke.. walaupun aku tahu aku ni hauk.. but 10-15 years ago, I had the confidence that I could become an actor.. but now not anymore.. and being a 35 yo male I know that I shouldn’t underestimate the challenges and the difficulties of becoming an actor… I don’t know why I even talk about it here.. maybe just to share something on my mind jer..

But…

If the opportunity comes, I will give it a try… at this point, why decline?? Why say that I wont be able to do it before even trying it.. I aint got nothing to lose pun kan… definitely, if an opportunity comes, I will try.. huhu berangan much…

Sama la macam apply2 keje engineering ni jugak… banyak je positions yg aku dah apply and I am not confident if I will be able to perform… but then I realize, kenapa aku mesti discount my own ability?? Kenapa aku sendiri yg tidak percaya dengan kebolehan diri aku dan nak be negative.. without even trying…

So sedari itu aku akan apply ajer mana2 positions yg aku rasa mcm ada seakan2 dekat dengan field aku walaupun ada je benda2 yg aku tak tau dan tak pernah dengar sebelum ni… huhu…

So moral of the story is… jangan sabotage diri sendiri!!!

5.       XAUUSD still floating

Sebelum ni when it was going good I had always this thought of quitting my job and just rely on the money I can get from this auto-trading thingy.. now that its not going so good I feel so shitty.. and about the same time la jugak that I found out that my contract won’t be extended.. memang menguji kan..

I don’t know what else I can say about this thing pun..

But I think one good thing that happened during this floating thingy was last month when it the chart came crashing.. I had made an estimation that my capital was able to withstand the drop of gold until 1835.. imagine how scary it was when it actually dropped beyond that.. until 1790++ ok dia turun…

One thing that I learn is that in order for me to stay being alive and not MC was to open a sell position that’s the same amount with the total amount of all the buy positions.. so regardless of how low the position gets, the amount floating will remain.. that had saved my capital.. but now the chart had gone up, the floating amount remains at negative… huhu.. I should’ve closed the Sell position when it went up but I didn’t know if it was gonna continue going up or revert down.. kalau salah Langkah je habis la MC nnt.. huhu… nangis jap…

6.       Ujian dan tenang. Terima seadanya

 

Kalau nak diikutkan sekarang ni memang mcm banyak sangat ujian dating menimpa aku… lepas satu satu kan ujian… tapi aku berpegang pada satu nasihat dan ajaran dari ustaz hannan ataki dari Indonesia ni…

Dek kerana ujian2 ni la kita akan mendekatkan diri dengan Allah.. akan selalu berdoa untuk diberi kekuatan, dipermudah urusan.. and aku bersyukur sebab aku diberi kesedaran ini.. kesedaran yg mana kesusahan dan cabaran hidup yg aku lalui sekarang ni sebenarnya adalah baik untuk aku.. mungkin adalah yg terbaik bagi aku buat masa ni, supaya aku tak lekang untuk berdoa dan meminta dari Allah.. dan supaya aku dapat jauhkan diri dari perbuatan2 jahat dan berdosa.. sebab aku ni sejenis yg kalau aku buat dosa aku akan rasa mcm x layak nak berdoa dan minta dari Allah…

Aku tahu tidak baik begitu.. walaupun kita berbuat dosa, kita harus terus berdoa dan meminta dari Allah.. tapi mmg ada orang yg mcm tu jenis nya.. termasukla diri aku..

Walaupun kadang2 aku rasa mcm agak give up jugak sbb da lama kan berdoa tapi masih belum dpt apa yang aku hajatkan tu.. tapi aku kena terus kuat.. dan aku doa jugak supaya tidak give up… sesungguhnya, bisikan syaitan jer tu nak aku give up kan…

Semoga aku dikurnia kekuatan untuk terus have faith and to never give up.. insyallah…

 

7.       Last resort

 

I am not quite sure what my last resort is if by July I still have no job.. yes I have some savings la kan that will last me for a few months…

In terms of keje, maybe I will bawak grab la kot… or I can focus on the manual trading thingy… kena follow signal dekat telegram & tiktok dengan religiously la kot..

I don’t want to worry too much about it but if I have to cross that bridge, I will do just that…

Hopefully I wont have to.. huhu…

 

8.       Whats my thought of being single??

The reason that I am even thinking about this is because my brother in law is currently staying at my house.. he’s in his 40s already and he’s never married.. belum bertemu jodoh barangkali..

Aku taktau la apa perasaan dia kan tapi nampak mcm happy je single…

Member2 aku yg single pun nampak mcm happy jer… tapi dalam hati cuma dia je la yg tahu…

Member aku si Raul tu dah sekian kali nyer bagitau dia lonely sbb single… nak kawen tapi takda calon katanya… tapi dia yg banyak sangat cekadak nyer terlalu memilih… biarlah dia… itu pilihan dia… mungkin dia dah sangat selesa membujang…

Same with Azhan jugak… dia dah sangat selesa membujang la kot tu…

I am not gonna judge coz it’s not position to do so..  doa yg baik2 saja la kan…

9.       Should my trading recover, whats the first things that I will do??

 

I believe in the law of attraction… dalam islam we have a different term for this law… tapi aku tak ingat what’s the term in Islam..

Basically if we have faith and keep believing something will happen, it will eventually happen… Cuma cepat atau lambat aje la…

So here’s hoping..

Speaking of the recovery of my capital from the current position it is in, the first thing I will do is…

1.       To set aside half of the capital for the loan repayment

2.       To belanja some of the money that I have from the profit to pay for my wants… seperti nak beli barang2 rumah baru, nak bayar macam2 kan bila masuk rumah baru ni…

3.       Nak pergi travel la.. nak pergi kundasang sajor dulu… bawak family…

4.       A new baby is coming.. mcm banyak je barang nak kena beli tu nnt.. so kena la bersiap awal2…

Oh My God, I pray that it will recover soon, before semua benda2 penting yg berlaku ni.. huhu…

 

10.   Nak belajar makeup la..

This is so random kan.. but lately I have been seeing many videos on youtube and tiktok pasal male grooming and make up and I must say that I am intrigued and there’s nothing wrong with that.. we should totally normalize male makeup kan.. its not a bad thing pun.. if it makes you happy why oppose it??

It doesn’t bring any harm pun, and taking care of one’s self is important kan.. including his exterior/image… but of course la dalaman pun kena elok juo.. dalaman tu I am referring to health yer… maksud nye kena eksesais la.. pergi gym bagai… bukan dalaman as in keperibadian atau perangai… owh yer itu pun kena hellok juo…

Why do I even bother explaining pun kan?? Huhu

11.   Chatting dengan Chan Wai Kit

Mamat Cina ni member aku masa sekolah rendah.. sbb dia sekolah kebangsaan dia nyer BM mmg mcm orang melayu KL la.. so bila aku borak ngn dia kat wasep atau fb messenger tu memang mcm cakap melayu je la…

 Da lama da aku x jumpa dia… last I saw him masa form 4 la before aku pergi Jasin..

Tak selalu pun chat dengan dia.. haritu ada la citer2 sikit.. dia citer da jarang balik Malaya sbb parents dia da meninggal… dia dok UK btw, dah keje jadi researcher kat sana katanya… under grant apa tah aku lupa…

Bagus la dia dah berjaya kat sana.. ni dia balik Malaya kejap sbb aku nampak kat fb story dia, aku pun komen la.. panas lettew sbb dia letak caption 27 degC… eh mengada la la pulak konon panas.. dulu masa kecik2 relax je beratur tengah2 panas masa assembly…

Kalau ada rezeki nak la jugak jumpa dia.. tapi dia nak ke jumpa aku?? Lolz.. huhu…

Eh random nyer citer pasal si wai kit ni…

 

So that’s all la for now… aku da penat nak menaip… atleast ada la sikit output aku kat office harini walaupun bukan buat kerja, tapi atleast dapat la membebel sikit2 dan dapat vent out perasaan dan release some stress..

Actually takda stress pun, cuma banyak risau jer.. dan sedih sbb tak dapat keje Singapore.. lolz.. pastu cakap la its for the best sebab nak sedapkan hati sendiri kan.. padahal sedih.. sobs sobs…

20220427 0838

 

20220427 0838

This morning rasa mcm banyak je benda nak citer… takpe kita go satu satu..

1.       Pergi offshore

 

From 14/4/22 – 21-4/21 aku pergi offshore… naik boat jer.. ada survey utk whcp & scada utk CHOC.. keje nye senang je kot.. aku da siap report aku... tunggu report part vendor katanya akan submit 29/4/22.. client da kecoh suruh submit.. tp lantak la.. malas aku layan..

 

5 tahun aku da x naik offshore.. sebelum naik tu ada la rasa excited.. sbb da lama x merasa dok laut kan.. tapi 2 hari kat sana aku dah ingat semula kenapa dulu aku selalu meroyan bilamana aku kena pergi offshore.. I remember I once said that I have had enough of offshore in my life.. so this time around I was reminded of this feeling and I think I will be okay if I never have to go offshore again..

 

2.       Balik offshore diberitahu contract tak sambung

 

While I was on my way back to KL from KB my PM txted me, ada x HR email bgtau pasal contract.. I replied.. I haven’t had the chance to check my email yet..

So sesampai nyer di rumah, there it was.. the email from my PM, cc-ed to HR.. he attached my performance evaluation form and another form, basically these forms say that my contract will not be extended..

I kinda expected it to be honest.. I had mixed feelings.. mostly sad I guess..

I replied to that email saying that I want to request for an early release, that I want my last day of service to be on 30/4/22.. the email was on 21/4/22.. so its been 6 days but still no reply from my PM nor HR.. as expected.. it’s a bad and unprofessional thing to do not to respond to staff’s request, but I knew this is the kind of company this is so no shock there.. just annoyance.. so unprofessional..

So basically since they had not responded, I guess I will just serve until my last day as per the employment contact which is until 31/6/22.. malas la aku nak trigger diorang lagi..

The next day on 22/4/22, my colleague asked me to join the breaking fast session with out subcon, and I met with my PM there, and asked about my request.. he said hes agreed for the early release, just wait from HR to advise.. but it was just a verbal assurance, nothing written so I guess it doesn’t count..

 

3.       Iphone jatuh jalan

 

Speaking of the berbuka puasa on 22/4/22, while on the way back home from the restaurant somewhere in ampang, I wanted to use waze so I put my iphone on the phone holder attached to my bike handle.. I checked it was firm and secured properly so I was convinced that it was safe, that the phone wasn’t gonna fall..

Riding along mrr2, I should’ve taken the phone down and kept it in my bag coz I already know the way and not using waze but since I already checked the sturdiness of the phone holder, I didn’t take my phone away..

As mrr2 is not without bumps, it wasn’t a smooth ride, at one particular bump, the phone holder shook so much that the iphone fell to the ground.. lucky I realized the phone had fell, so I stopped the bike to rescue the phone..

Alas, since the road was busy I didn’t make it in time.. I could clearly see my iphone being run over by 1 motorcycle and 2 cars.. my heart sank.. after I picked it up, being careful so that I wont be hit by moving vehicles on the expressway, I didn’t want to check but I saw the light was still on..

I only check my phone once I reached home..

It is a stong phone.. the screens shattered of course, the front and the back, but the function survived..

I knew the cost of repair is gonna be around 1k+.. but what choice do I have kan.. xkan nak beli phone baru.. its not even 1 month old yet.. but I is redha, this is ujian... orang lain punya ujian lagi dahsyat… ebby yus punya rumah masuk dalam lumpur masa banjir haritu.. ni iphone aku jer.. luckily its still reparable..

So the next day I sent it for repair and I was right.. the cost was rm1.2k.. I said ok..

Yesterday I went to collect the repaired phone and the ahbeng showed me theres one black dot and 1 line on the phone, which cant be repaired, since the damage was on the inner screen side..

I am sad.. I am trying to keep positive now.. atleast the phone can still function.. plus the dot & line annoyance.. I is redha..

 

4.       Offer baru terawang2

 

While I was in quarantine station before going offshore (10/4-14/4/22), I got an offer from a new company as a PE.. I guess they were in a hurry as they wanted me to join on 25/4/22 which is before raya, they are willing to pay the buyout... I said I will not be able to.. I don’t want to just leave & abandon my current company Tanjung like that.. and I was about to go offshore.. it felt somehow wrong to accept the offer without properly giving notice to Tanjung.. I guess I did the right thing, but it was unfortunate that on the day I came back from offshore, I got the news that my contract will not be renewed.. well, that’s life.. and it aint always fair..

 

So after I knew that I will not continue with tanjung, I contacted the new company(lets call them company A), and the HR said they already hired another candidate since I declined when they offered previously.. technically I never declined.. I just said that I couldn’t start on the date that they wanted me to join..

However, the HR said all hope is not lost.. she said the project team is looking for another PE but only after raya.. so right now I am praying to God that I got the offer...

Raya will be on 3/5/22 btw…

The issue right now is that I am not sure when they want me to join, and since Tanjung HR is basically useless, I am not sure if they will agree to release me earlier if company A wants me to start early..

Whatever it is, I will just pray to God and hope the best… trust that everything that happens is in Gods willing and it’s the best for me and my family, insyallah…

So itu lah kisah offer terawang2 lagi ni… no letter offer yet…

Draft letter offer yg lama tu ada la.. yg nak masuk 25/4 tu… huhu…

 

5.       Floating xauusd

 

So this is another major thing la yg membuatkan aku risau jer ni.. its been floating since 2 days ago.. quite a lot jugak la floating nyer..

Nothing much that I can say but I pray that it will revert… gila la dia drop dari 1975… semalam it went to as low as 1891… berapa ribu pip dah tu…

This morning I checked it was at 1903…

I need it to go up to 1926 to close the current open positions.. insyallah it will… saya berdoa kepada Allah.. huhu…

Ada sedikit rasa bersalah la jugak sbb mcm nak berdoa dengan Allah bila dalam saat memerlukan jer.. but its not true jugak… aku selalu jer berdoa.. dalam ceramah ustaz hannan anaki tu, dia remind kita yg Allah mmg suka bila kita meminta2 dari-Nya… so I will do just that… and to always remember that He is the almighty and kun faya kun… Dia pemberi rezeki dan kita mintak je lah dari Dia.. insyaallah it will be alright.. aku kena sabar byk la ni…

 

6.       Ukail accident

 

Ni pun antara perkara yg buat aku rasa sangat serabut… so meh kita story sikit..

Last Sunday 24/4/22 masa aku balik w maju utk hantar iphone repair tu.. aku nak belanja my parents and my sisters family utk berbuka puasa makan arab..

Mula2 ingat nk makan kat Hadramawt dekat wangsa 118 tu… bila pergi sana nak tanya menu, dia cakap situ ada buffet je… RM62++ per pax…

Terus rasa mcm kejang… kemain mahal.. so an alternative, aku pergi la kedai arab dekat area maybank wangsa delima tu, situ boleh order ala carte jer…

Masa dekat rumah mak, ail main playdough dengan cousins dia.. banyak kali aku & ibu nyer suruh kemas balik tapi dia x kemas pun.. last2 aku amek jer, gumpal2kan dan pass ke ibu dia..

I was upset coz he didn’t clear the mess when I had told him many times..

Masa nak gerak pergi berbuka tu, I told him to ride with his mamayong.. partly because I was still upset with him, another part, I thought kalau naik dgn mamayong, dia boleh main2 dgn cousins dia dalam kereta… socialize la sikit.. nnt da nak balik..

Da sampai kedai arab nak gi makan tu… he knew I was upset with him.. dia keluar kereta mamayong lepas tu nak cross the road to my car on the opposite side, katanya nak pujuk dedi..

Masa tu la ada satu kereta persona yg laju namati… aku x Nampak apay g berlaku, aku dgn bunyi tayar kereta dan satu dentuman yg kuat jer.. and I saw my boy ukail atas jalan dgn kaki berdarah…

Aku punyalah takut…. Sedih dan bersalah… orang ramai dating, bising2 kat cina persona tu cakap kenapa bawak laju itu ini… but all I could think of masa tu is that my boy is in pain…

Dia tak nangis tapi dia mcm menggigil menahan sakit kat kaki dia… aduyai meruntun jiwa dedi tau…

Then  kita bawak dia ke klinik.. doctor cuci luka.. pastu bagi referral letter suruh bawak ke hospital utk x ray..

Lepas makan berbuka, terus bawak ke Pantai Hospital KL (PHKL) emergency..

Doctor check x ray dia kata mcm okay, pakaikan splint dekat kaki dia…

Tapi dia kata mintak specialist check tulang dia…

Esok nya 25/4/22 1.30pm pergi jumpa specialist dia kata tulang dia fracture.. pakar tu nak buat procedure utk clean the wound, remove dead cells to avoid infection.. so terus book OR pukol 8pm tu… so ail dengan ibu nyer kena la stay hospital.. nasib baik la ada insurance.. so procedure tu sumer covered under insurance la..

Just now my wife updated me that abg ail can discharge today.. yeay alhamdulillah…

 

7.       Jaga adawiyah

 

Since ibu nyer kena jaga ukail dekat hospital, jadi tugas dedi la menjaga adawiyah… amagad its very challenging yer… penat dedi… tp bukan anak orang lain kan.. so kita xnak la merungut.. just enjoy the moment…

Semalam lepas balik dari PHKL gi visit abg ail & ibu, awiyah nangis non stop dari tempat parking sampai rumah… puas la dedi mujuk nyer kata nak beli mainan la beli candy la..

Kat umah terus video call dgn ibu… mintak ibu pujuk nak dia mandi before nak tido… nasib baik lama2 dia berjaya dipujuk… lepas mandi nak pakai baju ibu.. tido pelok dedi xnak bantal pelok..

Pagi tadi before nak gi school dia start buat perangai lagi xnak mandi… dedi cakap kalau xnak mandi nnt xyah ikut dedi gi jumpa ibu… baru la dia nak ikut pergi mandi siap2 gi school… alahai anak dara kecik ni… sangat strong-willed… orang kata 2^nd born mmg gini perangai nyer.. nasib baik la ibu nye kata harini ukail da boleh discharge… dedi penat~~

 

8.       Hamper office

So semalam aku masuk office la.. the day before isnin tu aku ambik MC sbb nak anto ukail jumpa pakar tu..

Budak2 ni kata pergi la ambik hamper kat tingkat 16.. utk muslim sempena raya.. so aku pun pergi la.. ambik la hamper tu dari kak Rima admin level 16 tu..

Pastu masa nak turun ke level 12, receptionist tu kata I cannot take because I dah nak berhenti.. I was like.. are u serius bij??

Sangat petty kan…

Pastu aku letak je hamper tu kat tepi tu… bukan aku hadap pun…

Serius weh, aku rasa kelakar gila company ni… geleng kepala je la..

Tapi pastu ada budak lain ambikkan hamper tu utk aku… ni ada je hamper ni kat tepi meja aku ni.. biar je la kat sini… x hingin pun aku nak ambik… duh~~

 

takda kijer lagi kita jadi mari bebel

 

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Sesungguhnya aku berbelah bagi nak tulis blog harini.. but since I am not sure what work I should be doing, then I thought maybe aku boleh tulis blog dulu..

Dan sambil2 tu aku boleh listkan item2 yg aku nak bebelkan disini..

1.       Contract Renewal & Interview

Baru semalam aku terima surat dari HR T7 untuk contract renewal aku.. diorang sambung for another 6 months jer.. aku masih belum sign sebab aku nak tunggu interview results aku dengan 2 company yg aku interview minggu lepas dan semalam 28/12/2021

Ok lemme rant a little bit about the contract renewal.. rasa mcm sangat mengambil kesempatan kan t7 ni dengan situasi aku dan juga staff2 yg lain.. takda pun dia nak bagi increment der.. to be honest mmg aku dah takda pilihan lain but to accept the contract renewal je la.. at the same time kita intai2 la tempat lain mana tau ada vacancy..

When I reflect on the amount of work that I do for my current position, I guess the pay and the lack of benefits are justified actually.. I don’t have a lot of work pun.. Cuma when I keep thinking about it, I feel like I deserve better, but if I were to base it of the amount of work, then its justified..

So I am not gonna complain, if I don’t like it, I can always look for other opportunities kan.. and at the same time I just have to remind myself that this is the best for me for the time being, the best that God has planned for me.. if I really deserve something different then God would allow me to get an interview and get another job..

Owh about the 2 interview sessions that I went for.. the 1^st one was when I was in kemaman and I think it went well but I am yet to get the results.. I have informed the HR about the contract renewal from my current company and me having to serve the notice period if I have signed the contract renewal but there has been no answer from their side..

So based on the current circumstance, I guess I didn’t get the job so aku redha je lah..

For my 2^nd interview that I had yesterday, it was thru google meet.. it’s a consultancy firm but the offer is not so attractivev.. contract position juo.. 6 months to 1 year juo term dia.. tapi gaji aku mintak mmg lebat la..

On the interview itself, I think it didn’t go as well as the 1^st one coz there were many that I couldn’t answer.. and I am not the kind of person who will goreng my answer.. if I don’t know or I am not sure, or not familiar, I will just be honest and tell them the truth.. so I guess there is little chance I will get the offer.. but you never know kan… Cuma aku tak berharap pun nak dpt keje tu..

Tapi kalau dpt that offer then I will demand t7 to counter offer la… hahaha… jahat x?? tak jahat pun aku rasa… dalam hidup kena la panda ikan get the best deal…

2.       Job Security

I had this conversation with my wife last night.. actually I have been thinking about it for quite some time la.. in todays world mmg da takda job security dah.. kalau ada pun untuk certain industries je la.. macam medicine, education, polis bomba tu mungkin kita boleh expect job security…

Tp kalau keje lain2 tu mmg dah takda da sekarang.. keje permanent pun boleh kena buang… keje government pun banyak agencies yg amek contract staff jer.. well doctor pun banyak je yg contract.. Cuma dari segi security ty doctor mcm lebih terjamin berbandin yg lain2 la..

So we all need to have this mindset tentang perubahan dalam aspek job security… and once we have this mindset kita akan rasa its okay if we lose job now… coz it was never secured or permanent anyway… nothing guarantees it so we aint gotta be too sad if we were to lose our job la.. just keep applying at other places je la.. or you can always venture into self-emplyment kinda job like becoming an insurance agent or property agent or unit trust agent… any agent la senang cakap..

Rezeki Allah ada di mana.. mungkin pada dasar Nampak mcm satu musibah bila kita kehilangan kerja tapi it could also be a blessing, mana tau dengan ketiadaan kerja itu memberi kita peluang utk mencuba dalam bidang yg lain2 kan.. semua yg berlaku tu pasti ada hikmah nyer.. yakin lah perancangan Allah itu yg terbaik untuk kita..

3.       Gym

Not sure what to bebel here.. just nak share, I have been going to the gym daily since last Friday 24 December 2021.. and so far I like it…

The part that I don’t like is the body aches la.. all over my body sakit weh… ini adalah tanda2 penuaan.. tapi harini mcm da kurang da la.. so harini aku boleh aku Kembali mengangkat besi..

Adalah diharap bila badan aku dah biasa dengan gym nnt takda la sakit2 lagi rasanya.. dan I really want to make it more like a lifestyle.. which means something that I will do daily.. kalau skip pun, Cuma skip sehari sajo…

Kalau aku kena pergi outstation pun aku akan cuba untuk jogging, insyallah…

The reason yg aku nak pergi gym nis bb aku dah bayar RM1800 untuk 16 bulan weh… gigih kan aku bayor guna duit hasil dari trading aku tu.. which I believe berbaloi la sbb kalau di kira2 sebulan Cuma RM112.50 sajork.. which is cheap la juo untuk celebrity fitness ittew..

Semoga aku istiqomah dan aku terus sihat.. main intention is to become more fit and stay healthy la..

4.       Bateri Kereta mati

Ni adalah satu permasalahan yg paling aku sakit hati ni.. kereta aku nyer bateri da mampus lagi.. haritu da mati aku dah tukar.. dalam masa 2 minggu mati semula… dan aku tukar.. ni mati lagi… habis dekat rm400 da tukar batteri sebelum2 ni…

Aku suspect sebab ada problem dengan radio tu yg batteri kena sedut je tu… sakit pulak hati kiter ni…

So kena aku pergi repair radio tu dulu dan pergi tukar bateri kereta… nak guna $$ lagi tu… adehai.. rasa mcm nak nangis pun ada.. tapi apalah faedah nyer menangis.. pergi je la repair.. anggap je lah takda rezeki.. ini adalah ketentuan Tuhan… tapi tetap la sakit hati nyer tu…

 

Oklah aku nak buat claim aku untuk bulan 12.. dan berharap2 dapat la approval by today jugak aku boleh hantar ke HR kejap lagi…

 

mari update sedikit sebanyak perkara2 dalam hidup ini...

 

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Omgeee kekenyangan aku sekarang… baru lepas makan lunch nasi kukus abang bo.. kenyang molek… ngantuk pulak tu..

Sebab tengah bosan dan taktau nak buat keje apa… jadi marilah kita membebel dalam ni.. untuk menjadikan penulisan ni lebih terurus, mari kita buat dalam bentuk point form..

1.       T7 Annual Gala Dinner

Theres nothing much to talk pun… last Friday 17/12/2021 ada annual dinner t7.. the food was ok la.. Chinese course dekat hotel pavillion.. syok jugak la makan hotel kan.. da lama jugak tak rasa makan hotel..

Da lama jugak tak dress up cantik2 utk dinner… so gigih la aku buat rambut, sembur perfume baru mistix men warna putih yg sangat harum aroma nyer ittew.. I think I looked good, puffy but still good.. damn I so need to go to gym and lose weight… ok I will cover the topic of gym in the next point.. lets talk more about the dinner..

Ada la lucky draw but I feel like something fishy sebab yg menang lucky draw sumer selected few ajer.. dan those yg menang sumer mmg company men.. yg permanent position..

Ye I don’t have any proof if the draw was rigged.. but it sure felt that way.. anyhow, its fine la.. I didn’t have to pay anything pun for the dinner nor the draw… but if it was rigged, then I wish the company to lose money in the following years… haa tiber nak emo… kan da kena carot…

Besides that ada competition tiktok videos la… and I just couldn’t be bothered to join.. it turned out semua yg ada video submission company akan bagi RM300.. rasa cam nyesal lak x submit… submit yg bodo2 je pon da dalam 300 kan senang2.. huhu.. maybe next time..

Rasa tu je la kot pasal dinner… on to the next topic..

 

2.       Gym

Dah lama dah rasa nak start pergi gym dan exercise sbb badan da makin mengembang.. makin gemok.. so plan nyer nak pergi join gym celebrity fitness kat endah parade tu.. should I or should I not??
maybe I should go check it out dulu… haritu masa dinner kat subway endah parade tu aku Nampak the gym but I didn’t go ask pulak.. tengok la petang ni or esok nak pergi tanya la..

Besides gym aku mmg nak diet la.. tapi da makin tua ni makin susah nak diet.. contoh macam harini.. makan mmg x jaga… sumbat je sumer benda kan.. dan cepat nor la rasa lapar nyer… padahal pagi tadi da makan roti canai 2 keping… lunch makan nasi kukus ayam goreng pulak..

Ada jugak terfikir nak puasa tapi mcm susah bebenor la pulak rasanya nak menahan perut yg asyik kelaparan jer ni.. adehai..

Takpe, kita mulakan dengan gym tu.. kalau da bayar rm300 sebulan, kena la gigihkan diri untuk pergi workout kan.. kalu x terasa rugi pulak bayor nnt..

Semoga diberi kerajinan..

 

3.       Alkhautar annual fees

Macam random jugak topic ni.. sebab nyer tengah berkira2 nak pergi gym tapi at the same time nak kena set aside duit untuk bayar annual fees utk preschool anak2 dekat alkauthar ni..close to 6k for 2 kids.. rasa mcm botak kepala aku ni..

So harapan nyer tentulah duit dari trading aku ni..

Harini trading agak sendu yer… sumer sebab last week Friday aku x close position so membawa la ke harini…tengah floating lagi tu.. tapi x banyak.. dalam usd8 jer… nak close sekarang pun x boleh… balik nnt kat umah la baru boleh sbb guna AWS VPS kan.. and only accessible thru my desktop at home..

Disebabkan annual fees ni rasa mcm stress jugak sbb nak berjimba beli barangan2 yg bukan2 pun x boleh sbb mmg kena simpan duit.. tapi takpe la.. untuk anak2 juo..

 

4.       Interview

Just nak share last week Thursday when I was in kemaman I had a virtual interview.. apply dekat linked in on wenzday tu rasanya.. aku main apply je kan.. lepas tu dapat phone call dan terus set interview..

So I think it went well but I never know kan.. kadang kita rasa ok tapi x dapat keje tu… ada jugak yg rasa mcm shit tapi dapat pulak keje tu..

So I think I just wait and pray for the best la..

Aku mcm excited sbb ni permanent position tapi akan kena pergi site juo la.. so aku still x sure how I will do if I got the job.. gaji naik sikit la dari sekarang ni..

Pastu ada benefit medical card utk whole family katanya..

Haritu tebiu dengan HR dgn PM dia.. PM tu mcm banyak explain pasal project yg dia jaga.. usually kalau orang beriya share pasal project tu dia nak ambik kita la tu kot.. so aku mcm seronok la jugak.. tapi selagi belum ada black & white I can only wish and pray for whats best for me la..

Contract aku dengan tanjong pun sampai end of the month je.. so masa tebiu tu aku bagitau la I would be available by 1 Jan 2022..

So now I am at a waiting game.. wait for the interview results and official offer, then I will inform my PM at tanjong, and see if tanjong will counter offer.. although that’s highly unlikely but whatever it is, I will wait and see.. maybe I should inform tanjong that the new offer is a permanent position with gaji sekian sekian, and see if they will counter offer..

Oh Allah, I seek from you to give me patience and also to grant me with the best options for me..

Doa beriya tapi solat zuhur pun belum.. lets finish this rambling soon so I can go solat zuhur..

 

5.       Property agent

Just nak share la my plan.. in the event yg mana aku x dpt the job offer from the new company… and tanjong also decides to not renew my contract.. then I will try my luck at becoming a property agent..

And in the mean time untuk sustain kehidupan I will rely on my trading income money…

So we will wait and see and pray…

Back to praying jugak kan… which is a good thing la coz I always go back to asking from God…

 

6.       Kemalasan melanda

Semenjak dua menjak ni kemalasan aku sangat memuncak yer..

Well actually ive always been a lazy mofo but dunno la since last month mmg rasa malas yahamats….

Taktau nak describe caner tapi mmg malas la..

Boleh kata hari2 jugak aku doa supaya dihilangkan perasaan malas tu.. tp still malas juo..

Ada dengan ceramah ustaz hanan attaki… dia kata kalau kita berdoa dengan Allah tu, kalau belum dpt.. kita kena sentiasa doa.. so aku pun bercadang untuk terus berdoa supaya perasaan malas aku ni akan hilang dan aku menjadi seorang yg productive dan tidak malas…

 

7.       Masa depan

Macam random dan agak vague je topic masa depan ni.. begitu juo la masa depan aku sekarang ni… mcm susah nak explain tapi I simply cant imagine what I would be doing in 5 years time… or 10 years time…

I cant possibly expect my trading will continue to be great in the future like it is now… for short term mmg ok la.. tapi aku mcm x Nampak masa depan dengan trading..

Masa depan sebagai engineer or manager pun aku x Nampak…

Truth be told, I am clueless with what I want to pursue… rasa mcm takda arah tujuan.. I just go with the flow.. just do whats in front of me without having a vision or a goal.. what I want to achieve in years to come.. rasa mcm loser.. what I am waiting for??? Waiting to be inspired?? Waiting for someone to point me in the right direction??

What direction is that?? How do I know it’s the right direction??

How long do I need to wait??

Is waiting the right thing to do??

Eh macam2 pulak persoalan dalam kepala ni…

Apa2 pun I will go back to basic.. which is to ask and pray from God.. truly that’s the only constant that I know and I am sure of… just go back to God and ask away..

Yes I will stick to praying and asking God with regards to every aspect of my life, insyallah itll work out somehow…

 

8.       Banjir

Sekarang ni Selangor, KL, N9, Pahang sedang berlaku banjir.. selain dari tu berlaku tanah runtuh dekat highway karak..

Supposedly aku kena pergi kemaman semalam.. tapi disebabkan banjir dan tanah runtuh.. jalan ke kemaman pun tutup..

Aku mmg malas nak pergi pun sebenarnyer.. especially when I think about the possibility of my contract not being renewed..

But as soon as the road is accessible, I will go la to kemaman…

But I need to get TRF approved first… need to discuss with my PM Nasrul Hadi, when exactly should I be going to kemaman…

I need to go to tok bali actually to identify and verify the E&I materials… rasa mcm sengal tu pun nak suruh aku kan…

Eh malas sungguh la rasanya.. apa2 pun we wait and see..

Okla da takda apa2 nak update sini… I want to go solat zuhur and pray sebanyak2 nyer dengan Allah semoga semua urusan dipermudah dan aku dapat keje yg baik.. dan hilang rasa malas… dan aku berasa senang dan tenang…

 

Daaa~~~