the world hasnt ended yet.. and neither has my life..

dear diary,

it is the day after the supposedly end of the world (21-12-2012) as predicted by the Mayans.
and for sure they were wrong..
it was not doomsday yesterday.. pretty much like any other day i guess.. except for some silly little jokes on how drunk they mayans must have been when they predicted the doomsday..

but i must admit i did have some thoughts running thru my head, what if it really was doomsday yesterday.. am i prepared? what is it that i need to prepare myself with? buying and stocking stuffs for consumption for months? or just prepare to face death and the afterlife?
hahahaha.. but that thought didnt last long coz i didnt really believe the world was gonna end.. so why should i bother about it too much?

and i am right.. well, everybody is..

anyhow, thats not really what i want to rant on here..
just that.. this morning somehting silly happened... and i dont know why it still bothers me.. but it just does..

ok lemme explain.. this morning i decided to leave my house to office a bit later than usual since already had lunch on nasi lemak at home..
when i was leaving, locking my door, i saw this guy who's living in the unit opposite of my house sitting near the door.. i merely glanced at him.. then suddenly he yelled at me.. he said something like this..

"apa pandang2? sebok buat per?? baru pindah da nak berlagak!!"

i was like "whoah bitch!! whats up with you?" but of course internal monologue only..
i didnt dare say back or look back at him..
hahahahaha... am i a coward?
well it depends on how you wanna look at it.. and also it depends on what kind of person you are, or how you were brought up..
but i dont want to care what others think of what i shouldve done..
i care about what i think i should do in that situation.. i chose to be quiet because i didnt want to create chaos.. i didnt want to get involved in whatever problem there was..
so to me its simple.. if you think i was a coward for not speaking up.. then so be it..
but i know i did the right thing because nothing good was gonna come up had i been in a fight with him..

i took the higher road, so to say.. and honestly speaking, i am actually doing him a favour..

but i dont think everybody wouldve done what i did.. some might think that i shoulve replied and possible got into a fight.. then the fight might last for some time and causing awkward moments should we pass by each other..

but at that split moment where i had to choose how to react, i chose to be the bigger person.. *i think..

ok.. now that i think of it.. its really silly though.. and like i said earlier.. why is it still bothering me??
maybe its because im not used to being so called "challenged" like that in my life?

aaahh.. whatever it is.. its not important.. unless it pays for my bill, pays my rent and buys my food, i probably should just never think about it..

i want to be a better, happier person, so whatever it takes, i will do..
and i will be better and happier
i know it..

ok wedding pasha dresscode very the formal.. kena pakai lounge suit bagai.. mana nak cari?
or should i just wear baju batik? i think thats fine too, no?

ok till next time.. later??

revisiting self re-invention..

aku sekang kat office
bosan
so aku baca blog
bosan jugak
baca blog sendiri pulak
sampai kat post ni

http://nauzi5145.blogspot.com/2011/08/reinventing-myself.html

ok many things have changed
i dont teach tution anymore
that means now i have time to exercise
and no more love muffintop/love handles
my weight is 73kg now and my waist is 31" ( i was close to 90kg with 35" waist before)
i am happy with my so called body transformation to the better..
and i was right.. things got better!!

i am no longer a technical engineer doing servicing
i am a consultant engineer now doing design and costing

i no longer have to go to sites to do my work (PM Servicing, installation etc etc)
i now work with Autocad and microsoft office for my drawings and solutions documents (costing, technical proposal)

i got a big raise a few months back when i got an offer from a competitor company, but i decided to stay because i knew i still had a lot to learn.

all in all, what i can say is.. things have got better!! and i am a happier person.

ok now i am obsessed with some of malay celebrities whom i think are good looking and have very nice body.
i will work towards that.

untung2 nnt dapat jadi retis

*okstartberangandah

ok i think thats all for now. i want to stalk people on instagram!!
FB is so last year
 

Living like our age...

salam..

this night i feel like talking about one particular thing that is not so important.. but since im still wide awake, why the hell not, right?

but before i get to the main point, maybe its good if i give some intro of what i just did today.
i went out to midvalley with farik rick karim and erwan.. met erwan there at around 3pm.. i was late because fariq was late.. had late lunch at nandos.. (its been more than a year since i last had nandos i think)

then go to solat zuhur (because i forgot to solat before i went out).. then we started our splurging session.. (although i dont really have much money to splurge to begin with.. but i dont care!! its retail therapy bitch!!)

ok basically the three of us are fans of topman and zara.. for some reasons the designs from these outlets resonate well with us..
well actually, ive been a fan of topman since i was a teenager.. maybe since i was 18 like that.. but being 18, it was okay to wear topman.. maybe if youre 22 or 23, it is still okay to wear topman.. but being 25? am i too old already to be wearing topman? honestly speaking but dont quite understand why, i asked myself that...

if i have to give an answer to that question, my asnwer would be NO.. i am not at that age yet where wearing topman is considered inappropriate..

but this begs thee question, why is there an inappropriate age for someone to wear topman? does it mean someone who's 50 or 60 cannot wear topman? what is the age limit then? who decides the age limit? why should we oblige to it?

ok too many questions, leading to too many confusions...

that age of 50 or 60 is a lil bit too extreme to be made an example for this argument..

topman fashion is generally for young male.. id say for late teens, the 20s and maybe some early 30s..so i think it is safe to say, old people (50 or 60 yo) arent supposed to wear topman at their age..

but this is my opinion.. maybe other people think the topman fashion suits even old people.. maybe?

then i wondered.. how will i be like when im 50? do i have the guts to put on young men clothing?
hahaha i dont know... maybe? hehehe..

i hate that i have this feeling.. i know i shouldnt have this feeling yet.. but i do..
i feel like im already too old for topman.. damn it!!
now my taste of fashion is more on brand like zara.. but even that.. not really either..

ok i am a lil bit confused.. zara's style is much more matured than topman, that is what i think.. so thats why i am starting to like zara more now that im getting older..
but am i the only one?

ok this entry post is so silly... why the hell am i talking about fashion? does it even matter??

come to think about it, the main concern is not about the fashion style i am adapting to now.. but its more of why i feel this way.. or starting to feel this way..
the feeling of getting older, getting more adult..like i'm evolving.. transforming internally.. starting to like things that are associated more with adult people..
am i having quarter-life crisis? is that even a thing?

when i was younger, i came across to this phrase
"getting old is mandatory, growing up is optional" and
"age is just a number, youth is in the attitude"

how i understood these phrases was that.. we cannot help how old we are getting each day, each minute.. but how we live each day is totally up to us.. be it like a kid, a teenager, a regular adult man or an old man..

to me, this means that.. even when youre older, per say at the age of 40 or 50, if you still can do things young people do (for example, play skateboard, bungy jump or whatever), then why the hell not??

and if you want to dress like young people, go head and just do it..

i know some people, when they grow old, they will choose to dress, act, walk, talk and do things the way 
old people do..
that is boring i think....
i want to live young forever!!! so i dont care how old im getting, i will still be rocking it...*poyogilaayat

hmmm.... reading back what i wrote and thinking...
writing about it in this blog might not give me the answer that i want..  (as if i really want or need the answers to begin with)
coz maybe theres nobody reading it.. even if there are people who read it, doesnt mean they'd understand of what i speak of.. theyd probably understand it if theyve experienced it too..
itd be cool if i can get these people who understand and have felt the same way im feeling now to talk to me.. that would be cool.. but for some reason i think i know that its not gonna happen..
there are just too many uncertainties.. too many "if" conditions to make it come true..

okla, i dont see this entry making any sense now to anybody else but.. i think im gonna watch the latest greys anatomy before i go to bed..

till next time~~
stay young people!

~konon2 buat keje

Da lama gak tak nulis blog ni.. dulu cam salu gak la pasal cam salu takda keje.. salu free jer..

Ok harini aku cam sangat free.. lately aku mmg salu free aku pon taktau nape aku cam sgt free.. aku sebnanyer bukan la nak merungut pasal takda keje.. tapi aku tak suke bila nnt datang kerja 5 6 benda nak kena siapkan pada masa yg sama.. time aku takda keje cam sekang ni, mmg takda keje la.. so bosan..

Ok aku taknak la meroyan jer merapu2 kat sini cakap pasal keje, takda keje..

Hmm.. bestu nak cakap pasal pe eh..

Woaaah lately byk betol jemputan perkahwinan.. last week aku gi JB epen nyer kenduri dgn Loq nyer kenduri.. aku gi ngn bali hairi dan reen.. mmg plan nak gi epen nyer wedding jer pastu gi JPO la for shopping.. tapi that night sampai kat JB bali txting2 ngn raihana rahmat, so malam tu dinner kat singgah selalu ngn cik rai.. dier pon ajak gi loq nyer wedding which is very near to epens, 10 15 minutes drive like that..

Owh before I get to that, nak citer jugak the next morning gi sarapan kat umah raihana kat taman perling, then gi amek2 gambar kat legoland tu.. tak masok dalam pon.. jenjalan kat mall depan legoland tu n gi amek gambar jer.. da la nak ujan time tu.. rosak la rambut I kalau hujan kan.. hehehe..

Owh luper jugak nak citer.. the day before we all drove from KL terus gi JPO dulu.. and I bought an ESPIRIT shirt yg chantek la jugak.. aku rasa baju tu cam sama ngn baju bahet. Aku tgk dier pakai cantek jer.. so aku pon nak cari gak selai baju camtu.. and time pegi JPO tu aku carik la baju cegitu.. hehehe..

Haa luper jugak nak citer, the week before pegi kawen shamas&epen kat Muar dgn udi, zarik, wandi, bahet, ki, cadon, and capoh.. tapi jumper capoh pon kat muar je la.. aku n udie gerak dari KL together pegi umah wandi n zarik kat cheng Melaka tu.. pegi gak makan kt umbai yg mahal tu.. malam sampai Melaka t uterus gi umbai dlu bukan nak balik umah.. takda pon lapar tapi gedik kan nak gak makan mahal2 tu.. tapi okla sedap la jugak.. sekalisekala apa salahnyer..

Haaa satu lagi citer..

Adek wandi form 4 meninggal pasal lemas.. zarik citer adek wandi tu nak selamatkan orang lemas, pastu orang yg dier nak selamatkan tu terselamat tapi dier yg terkorban.. aku betul2 speechless bila zarik bagitau malam tu.. aku sedekahkan al fatihah je la... walaupon aku tak kenal pon adek wandi tu, tapi sebagai kawan kepada wandi aku sangat bersimpati.. aku taktau apa aku akan buat kalau berada di tempat wandi.. haih sedih nyer..

Ok xmo da cite sedih2.. aku nak citer benda lagi sedih.. iaitu.. harga rumah sangat ridiculous sekarang.. caner nak beli rumah ni.. aku cam buat kira2, taktau la bila nyer aku akan dpt nak beli umah ni.. kalau assume ada la umah harga 300k sekang ni (mungkin apartment je la, kalau luncky mungkin ada condo 300k.. ada ke?) bulan2 pon da kena byr 1500 dah (30 tahun loan)

Adoi.. mana nak mampu.. kena buat bisnes sendiri la kot baru la boleh mampu nak beli umah cani..

Igt nak pegi tanya2 kat bank pasal skim rumah pertamaku tu.. dgr citer dier nak naikkan had gaji sekang 5000 pon boleh apply dan harga umah pon da naik had boleh beli 400k nyer rumah.. tekanan perasaan betol la bila cakap pasal rumah ni..

Bebudak lain tu caner boleh afford nak beli umah ni sumer eh? Aku cam pelik dan tertanya2.. gaji aku takda la busuk sgt pon nak compare ngn mereka.. so aku rasa derang pon sure tak mampu gak nak beli kan? Unless kalau ibu bapa mereka yg membantu then aku faham la caner mereka boleh mampu..

Hmm.. cari umah kat pinggir KL? Tapi di mana yer?

Ok la malas nak fikir pasal ni la.. nnt tension jer.. ada rezeki tuhan nak kasi nnt dapat la aku beli umah agaknyer..

Ok la aku da malas nak sambung nulis ni.. baik aku stop sebelom boss2 nampak aku tak buat keje.. haha

Till nxt time.. later~~

gaji buta

OMG kebosanan tahap dewa sekarang ni

bukan nyer aku malas nak buat keje
tapi keje aku ni cam tak mengizinkan aku untuk membuat nyer pasal aku kena tunggu orang kasi quotation, baru aku leh prepare aku nyer costing..

aku rasa cam ada lagi benda2 lain yg aku kena buat macam drawing ke calculation ker.. tapi aku cam malas
hahaha
maybe sebab cam x urgent kot.. haha

ok now aku da mula risau da.. maybe aku patut start buat benda2 tu..
tapi aku sangat la takda mood.. maybe sebab esok cuti dan sabtu aku n dak2 ni nak gi melaka n johor da untuk kawen arul n epen.

aku ngn arul tu takda la rapat sgt pon, tapi boleh kira kawan jugak la pasal dari satu kolej yg sama. dan epen tu lak da macam adek sndiri da aku rasa.
tak sangka lak aku budak ni awal sgt kawen. boleh la kawen kalau da ada calon dan da mampu nak support segala bagai keperluan tu ye dak..

aku ni caner?
mampu? sekang ni x mampu lagi la..
tapi lepas apa yg da berlaku, even kalau aku da mampu nnt pon aku rasa cam agak mustahil untuk aku berumahtangga.
bukan sebab aku taknak
tapi sebab aku rasa aku tak patut. dan aku sangat doubt ada orang yg akan sanggup nak kawen ngn aku ni..

nnt in the end aku jadi macam wan suhaimi jer umor da dekat 40 pon tak kawen2 lagi. mungkin dier juga mengalami masalah yg sama seperti yg aku alami.

huhu.. we unmarried men must stick together.. cewah..

ok keje da sampai.. da kena buat keje now... till next time.. later~~

seksaited then dissapointed... lifes a rollercoster

salam and hellow everyone..

damn im feeling so bored
now in the office altho its a freakin saturday.
haiyo.. i really need to find a job where i dont have to work on saturdays.
but nevermind, maybe some day i will..

so bored now.. dont have much to do.. waiting for suppliers to come back with their letter of support for the celcom tender

ok let me just get to the point here..
theres actually one reason why i want to blog now.. altho it might sound stupid, but yeah its happening..

i am in that position again.. position, situation, circumstance.. whatever u want to call it..
the last time i was in this situation was back in 2007..
i was head over heels.. i couldnt stop thinking about it.. and i was the one chasing..

and yes of coz it took quite some time for me to recover from the sucky situation i was in.. then i became this hard person, heartless? even to a point where i said id never be able to love of fall in love again..

now im feeling like its starting to happen again.. i will get to that but not just yet..

that time when i was recovering from the heartache and pain of being rejected, unwanted.. it was difficult and i didnt like it one bit..

but lifes a roller coaster.. the table was turned where i became the chased one, not the chasing one..
there were a few people who wanted to be with me.. so i felt good about myself.. and i started to treat people badly..
and started to become selfish.. saying things like "kalau ko xnak aku, aku kesah ke? belambak lagi menunggu"
oh yeah i said that!!

but now the wheel is starting to turn again..
i am starting to fall for some one now.. and.. i have mixed feelings..

i was really excited.. especially when it wasnt me who initiated the whole thing.. so you can imagine how excited it was for me..

but now i realize that its not always sunshine kan.. things can get ugly very fast..
hmm.. maybe its not ugly yet.. its just me whos thinking too much and making too many assumptions that arent necessarily true..

i think i will just take it as it is.. no heart feeling, nor overly attached emotions just yet..

i will not be the first one to say it!!!

ok over sangat statement tersebut!!

okthanksbye~~

Happiness

Happiness–in your business life and your personal life–is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Vendors don’t deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you’re also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering–because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
(MORE: More Turbulence for American Airlines)

 a good guide for us to try to do, that is not to blame others when shit happens. but it is not as easy as merely saying it though.. easier said than done.. if we are to take the responsibility for things we didnt do, its like we are letting the ones who made the mistake get away with their faults.. we should atleast make them realize of the fault they have done and the impact it caused so that they realize it and do better next time.

well, maybe that is not blaming, but in order to make people better, they have to realize of whatever wrong theyve done (provided it was very clear, and proven they were faulty to begin with)

but when the issue is not so clear, and it was partially everybody's fault, the best thing to do is to make clear how things should have been done, then move on from there and rectify the mistake, making note so that it wont repeat itself.

2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you.
Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

this one i do not entirely agree. what the author says about being of some substance by being yourself, and attracting people to having relationship with us which i think is probably not so applicable to people nowadays since we are not living in an ideal world where everyone and everything is without fault/error.

people in this real world care for the wrong things. ok i should say most people, not all. admittedly that includes myself. i do get attracted to get to know people who look good, who have nice things, who care for their appearance. in this case, those who have substance but do not look as good would be ignored and taken for granted. Pity.

maybe i'm a bit of a pessimist, but i like to think of myself as being realistic. impressing is important to some extent, in some circumstances, as that is how people tend to get attracted to you. attracting people to you is important!!!

i am a strong believer in good a "first impression". people who we just met do not know us. the only thing they can see is how we bring ourselves when around other people. so if we dont bother to do anything impressive, be it wear beautiful clothes or use branded things (only do this if you can afford, if you cant, dont!!),
then they wouldnt even care for your existence.

my take on this is, impressing is not entirely bad, but also at times can be important. avoiding it to make yourself happier is not entirely correct i would say.
it is correct, meaning it will make you less happy if you try to impress others who don't matter when you cannot afford it. so you be the judge whether or not you should.


3. Clinging.
When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.
Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

True!!!

Fear of failing is good, it proves that we have had all the good things we need as we now fear of losing them.

Letting go so we can reach for what we want is also good but this can also be dangerous.
make sure you make all the preparation you need and to lower your expectation just so it would not hurt so much when you fail. most people fail the first time. just dont let your first failure be the reason you dont try again.

4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”
Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
They’ll love you for it–and you’ll love how that makes you feel.
(MORE: The Myth of Chinese Efficiency)

True!!

5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don’t let friends whine–friends help friends make their lives better.

Whining is a big no no, but it doesn't mean that we aren't supposed to talk about the problem with others.
Asking for help is also good, just do not overdo it.
put it out once or twice to your friends or family. share with them and hopefully they get to help. only ask help from those who have the capacity to help.
but try not to burden them with you shit

6. Controlling.
Yeah, you’re the boss. Yeah, you’re the titan of industry. Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.
Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure–none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.

"Find people who want to go where you're going..."
Damn, if only its as easy as picking up Corntos from a 7 11. Control is not entirely bad. some people need to be controlled. some people like to be controlled. Not everyone knows what needs to be done.

if you're the boss, controlling your subordinates is crucial. also important is to let them express their thoughts and opinions. and make sure you think of their opinions/suggestions thoroughly. discuss them with a 3rd party if you must. be fair to them, fair to yourself.

7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else–including your employees.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people–and yourself–in a better light.
(MORE: The Worst Job in America)

True!! But this should not be a reason for junior executives to act smart and refuse to listen to comments made by their senior colleagues. 
If you are new, learning should be your main priority, not trying to prove you're better than others

8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything–and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

leave you feeling less happy?
somehow i find this to be inaccurate. those people who preach to others, letting others know of how experienced and knowledgeable they are, they must feel like the king of the world where he is the best in what he's doing.

preaching makes the preacher feels good. True! but what he does not know is that those people who he preached on are secretly hating him and are probably talking bad about him behind his back.
well, this is not a good thing to do, but in the real world, people do talk bad about others behind their backs.

do not mistake preaching as teaching. be sure that those people who you want to teach want to be taught, and like to be taught by you. sometimes although the content that to be taught is important and good for the students, but if it comes from someone whom they do not like they will not learn anything.

9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.
The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

True!! this relates to item #1 Blaming.
dwelling it the past mistakes will not change what happened. just focus on how you can make things better next time

10. Fearing.
We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
(MORE: Improve Your Presentation in Real Time)
Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own–and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

So True. this also relates to item #3 Clinging
just to re-quote here "Today is the most precious asset you and is the one thing we should truly fear wasting"

Read more: http://business.time.com/2012/10/04/be-happier-in-business-and-life-10-things-to-stop-doing-right-now/#ixzz28T7Negfx