mari update sedikit sebanyak perkara2 dalam hidup ini...

 

20211215 0830

Omgeee kekenyangan aku sekarang… baru lepas makan lunch nasi kukus abang bo.. kenyang molek… ngantuk pulak tu..

Sebab tengah bosan dan taktau nak buat keje apa… jadi marilah kita membebel dalam ni.. untuk menjadikan penulisan ni lebih terurus, mari kita buat dalam bentuk point form..

1.       T7 Annual Gala Dinner

Theres nothing much to talk pun… last Friday 17/12/2021 ada annual dinner t7.. the food was ok la.. Chinese course dekat hotel pavillion.. syok jugak la makan hotel kan.. da lama jugak tak rasa makan hotel..

Da lama jugak tak dress up cantik2 utk dinner… so gigih la aku buat rambut, sembur perfume baru mistix men warna putih yg sangat harum aroma nyer ittew.. I think I looked good, puffy but still good.. damn I so need to go to gym and lose weight… ok I will cover the topic of gym in the next point.. lets talk more about the dinner..

Ada la lucky draw but I feel like something fishy sebab yg menang lucky draw sumer selected few ajer.. dan those yg menang sumer mmg company men.. yg permanent position..

Ye I don’t have any proof if the draw was rigged.. but it sure felt that way.. anyhow, its fine la.. I didn’t have to pay anything pun for the dinner nor the draw… but if it was rigged, then I wish the company to lose money in the following years… haa tiber nak emo… kan da kena carot…

Besides that ada competition tiktok videos la… and I just couldn’t be bothered to join.. it turned out semua yg ada video submission company akan bagi RM300.. rasa cam nyesal lak x submit… submit yg bodo2 je pon da dalam 300 kan senang2.. huhu.. maybe next time..

Rasa tu je la kot pasal dinner… on to the next topic..

 

2.       Gym

Dah lama dah rasa nak start pergi gym dan exercise sbb badan da makin mengembang.. makin gemok.. so plan nyer nak pergi join gym celebrity fitness kat endah parade tu.. should I or should I not??
maybe I should go check it out dulu… haritu masa dinner kat subway endah parade tu aku Nampak the gym but I didn’t go ask pulak.. tengok la petang ni or esok nak pergi tanya la..

Besides gym aku mmg nak diet la.. tapi da makin tua ni makin susah nak diet.. contoh macam harini.. makan mmg x jaga… sumbat je sumer benda kan.. dan cepat nor la rasa lapar nyer… padahal pagi tadi da makan roti canai 2 keping… lunch makan nasi kukus ayam goreng pulak..

Ada jugak terfikir nak puasa tapi mcm susah bebenor la pulak rasanya nak menahan perut yg asyik kelaparan jer ni.. adehai..

Takpe, kita mulakan dengan gym tu.. kalau da bayar rm300 sebulan, kena la gigihkan diri untuk pergi workout kan.. kalu x terasa rugi pulak bayor nnt..

Semoga diberi kerajinan..

 

3.       Alkhautar annual fees

Macam random jugak topic ni.. sebab nyer tengah berkira2 nak pergi gym tapi at the same time nak kena set aside duit untuk bayar annual fees utk preschool anak2 dekat alkauthar ni..close to 6k for 2 kids.. rasa mcm botak kepala aku ni..

So harapan nyer tentulah duit dari trading aku ni..

Harini trading agak sendu yer… sumer sebab last week Friday aku x close position so membawa la ke harini…tengah floating lagi tu.. tapi x banyak.. dalam usd8 jer… nak close sekarang pun x boleh… balik nnt kat umah la baru boleh sbb guna AWS VPS kan.. and only accessible thru my desktop at home..

Disebabkan annual fees ni rasa mcm stress jugak sbb nak berjimba beli barangan2 yg bukan2 pun x boleh sbb mmg kena simpan duit.. tapi takpe la.. untuk anak2 juo..

 

4.       Interview

Just nak share last week Thursday when I was in kemaman I had a virtual interview.. apply dekat linked in on wenzday tu rasanya.. aku main apply je kan.. lepas tu dapat phone call dan terus set interview..

So I think it went well but I never know kan.. kadang kita rasa ok tapi x dapat keje tu… ada jugak yg rasa mcm shit tapi dapat pulak keje tu..

So I think I just wait and pray for the best la..

Aku mcm excited sbb ni permanent position tapi akan kena pergi site juo la.. so aku still x sure how I will do if I got the job.. gaji naik sikit la dari sekarang ni..

Pastu ada benefit medical card utk whole family katanya..

Haritu tebiu dengan HR dgn PM dia.. PM tu mcm banyak explain pasal project yg dia jaga.. usually kalau orang beriya share pasal project tu dia nak ambik kita la tu kot.. so aku mcm seronok la jugak.. tapi selagi belum ada black & white I can only wish and pray for whats best for me la..

Contract aku dengan tanjong pun sampai end of the month je.. so masa tebiu tu aku bagitau la I would be available by 1 Jan 2022..

So now I am at a waiting game.. wait for the interview results and official offer, then I will inform my PM at tanjong, and see if tanjong will counter offer.. although that’s highly unlikely but whatever it is, I will wait and see.. maybe I should inform tanjong that the new offer is a permanent position with gaji sekian sekian, and see if they will counter offer..

Oh Allah, I seek from you to give me patience and also to grant me with the best options for me..

Doa beriya tapi solat zuhur pun belum.. lets finish this rambling soon so I can go solat zuhur..

 

5.       Property agent

Just nak share la my plan.. in the event yg mana aku x dpt the job offer from the new company… and tanjong also decides to not renew my contract.. then I will try my luck at becoming a property agent..

And in the mean time untuk sustain kehidupan I will rely on my trading income money…

So we will wait and see and pray…

Back to praying jugak kan… which is a good thing la coz I always go back to asking from God…

 

6.       Kemalasan melanda

Semenjak dua menjak ni kemalasan aku sangat memuncak yer..

Well actually ive always been a lazy mofo but dunno la since last month mmg rasa malas yahamats….

Taktau nak describe caner tapi mmg malas la..

Boleh kata hari2 jugak aku doa supaya dihilangkan perasaan malas tu.. tp still malas juo..

Ada dengan ceramah ustaz hanan attaki… dia kata kalau kita berdoa dengan Allah tu, kalau belum dpt.. kita kena sentiasa doa.. so aku pun bercadang untuk terus berdoa supaya perasaan malas aku ni akan hilang dan aku menjadi seorang yg productive dan tidak malas…

 

7.       Masa depan

Macam random dan agak vague je topic masa depan ni.. begitu juo la masa depan aku sekarang ni… mcm susah nak explain tapi I simply cant imagine what I would be doing in 5 years time… or 10 years time…

I cant possibly expect my trading will continue to be great in the future like it is now… for short term mmg ok la.. tapi aku mcm x Nampak masa depan dengan trading..

Masa depan sebagai engineer or manager pun aku x Nampak…

Truth be told, I am clueless with what I want to pursue… rasa mcm takda arah tujuan.. I just go with the flow.. just do whats in front of me without having a vision or a goal.. what I want to achieve in years to come.. rasa mcm loser.. what I am waiting for??? Waiting to be inspired?? Waiting for someone to point me in the right direction??

What direction is that?? How do I know it’s the right direction??

How long do I need to wait??

Is waiting the right thing to do??

Eh macam2 pulak persoalan dalam kepala ni…

Apa2 pun I will go back to basic.. which is to ask and pray from God.. truly that’s the only constant that I know and I am sure of… just go back to God and ask away..

Yes I will stick to praying and asking God with regards to every aspect of my life, insyallah itll work out somehow…

 

8.       Banjir

Sekarang ni Selangor, KL, N9, Pahang sedang berlaku banjir.. selain dari tu berlaku tanah runtuh dekat highway karak..

Supposedly aku kena pergi kemaman semalam.. tapi disebabkan banjir dan tanah runtuh.. jalan ke kemaman pun tutup..

Aku mmg malas nak pergi pun sebenarnyer.. especially when I think about the possibility of my contract not being renewed..

But as soon as the road is accessible, I will go la to kemaman…

But I need to get TRF approved first… need to discuss with my PM Nasrul Hadi, when exactly should I be going to kemaman…

I need to go to tok bali actually to identify and verify the E&I materials… rasa mcm sengal tu pun nak suruh aku kan…

Eh malas sungguh la rasanya.. apa2 pun we wait and see..

Okla da takda apa2 nak update sini… I want to go solat zuhur and pray sebanyak2 nyer dengan Allah semoga semua urusan dipermudah dan aku dapat keje yg baik.. dan hilang rasa malas… dan aku berasa senang dan tenang…

 

Daaa~~~

WHAT DO I WANT ACTUALLY????

 

20210921 1407

 

If I have really found a method in which I don’t have to work 9 to 5 yet still be able to earn money, is it so wrong of me to actually choose that instead??

I mean, to quit my day job and just stay at home, do nothing and just wait for the money to grow and collect it at the end of the month??

Yes it does sound too good to be true and I have to admit that I am skeptical.. I still cant believe it 100% and I am aware of the risk involved but why do I feel so compelled to go thru with this plan tho?

Why ? why? Why?

Why am I so lazy that I don’t want to work?

If I choose to quit my engineer job and go thru with the risky plan that might work, and might also make me bankrupt… is that so bad tho??

I have heard the saying that life rewards those who are brave and I am trying to be brave now by taking this risk but at the same time I just cant shake this feeling that I am signing my own death warrant….

Oh my god…

I don’t want to feel this way…

I don’t want to be lazy.. but I just am…

I don’t want to not live in peace.. I want tranquility.. I want peace of mind.. I want happiness.. but what is happiness tho??

Does happiness equate being rich and successful?

Or according to my current state of mind, does happiness equate to not doing anything? Just lazing around??

I used to think that being rich and famous can give me happiness, but now I don’t think that’s true anymore.. in fact, I am still confused with the concept of happiness…

Maybe feeling enough with what God has given me, and I will not ask or want for anything more… maybe that will make me happy… maybe??

How do I achieve that tho? I don’t think its something that we can easily get just by asking from God.. I feel like we gotta do something in order to feel enough and adequate with what we are blessed with…

So we should focus on the good things in life and celebrate the positives… but syaitan is everywhere and working non stop to make us humans forget to be grateful… to always want more..

But… why must I think that wanting more a bad thing tho? Why must I associate wanting more, being rich to syaitans evil doing??

Right now my mind is a mess and I don’t know what to think, what to focus on.. I don’t know what I want.. do I want wealth? Do I want to be rich? Or do I want to just have the grateful feeling and not ask more than what I deserve??

Maybe I want all of them… maybe I don’t want any of them… I don’t know…

I just want to be happy I guess.. I want to feel excited with life again… I want to experience all the good things that this life can offer… like having fun with friends, going places.. eating good food, play good sports that make you sweat like a pig..

I want to be carefree and happy like I once was in my youth that I didn’t have any worry about anything at all.. but I know that’s just wishful thinking and I can never get them back…

I read on my friends fb post about his work that requires him to learn new things, adapt to new technologies yadayada.. and him comparing his job to others who do routine job.. and that seem mundane and having to do the same thing over and over and that will lead to inexplicable boredom, according to him…

But why choose difficultines & challenges when you can have easy things?? Is it necessary to keep changing, keep learning, keep adapting and keep up keeping up with all the new advancement in life?? Why cant we just stay stagnant and just be where we want to be??

I guess the answer to that is, yes we can actually.. we can choose ease.. we can choose stagnance.. that will depend on what we want in life…

Do we want to move forward? Or do we want to just be the same person until the day we die??

Maybe this is an age old question but whatever you decide in your life, just know that its your decision and its nobodys business to tell you otherwise..

So I come back to my initial concern about me not wanting to continue being and engineer but just want to laze around doing nothing at home… provided that I know how to earn the money and necessities to survive and thrive…

If that’s what I want now, its okay I guess…

Its okay to take a break from this rat race and try this new way of living where I will not be in constant competition trying to be better than others…

This life where I can wake up at noon everyday and go to sleep at 4am everynight with nobody to care for…

But I don’t know if I can do that coz ive got dependents, my family… my kids.. and that means responsibilities… I cant be doing that now, can i??

So this brings me to the question of why do people get married tho??

I can only answer based on my knowledge, my experience and based on my own personal reasons why I got arried..

1.       I want to be a good son. I thought(still think) that me getting married will make my parents happy

2.       I want to be a good muslim

3.       Marrigage is a good thing.. good from Islamic pov and family pov

4.       I don’t think anyone wants to marry me so when my wife agreed when I asked, I thought if I don’t get married now, then I probably never will

5.       I don’t want to grow old alone

6.       I don’t want to die alone

7.       I want my kids and grandkids to still du’a for me after my death

I know I should be grateful.. but saying that I want to be grateful and actually being grateful are two different things…

Maybe it’s the syaitans again, telling me to not be grateful, to have regrets etcetera…

Do I need to pray more? Do I need to zikir more? To be protected from syaitans whispers??

Maybe I need to rejuvenate and replenish my iman… ive heard people say that our iman does fluctuates and it needs constant work to keep it afloat.. we need to surround ourselves with good people to do that… go to majlis ilmu and actually do good things… but at my current state of mind… I want none of that so how can I pull myself out of this misery?? I don’t even want to actually…

I just want to sleeeeeeeeeppppppp

 

I AM LAZY... GOD PLEASE HELP

 

20210426 0823

 

I wish I can be like people who are always motivated and looking forward to Mondays… right now I am not, NOT in the slightest…
its not that I hate Monday, I just really prefer to not have to come to work… lolz… dasar ayat seorang pemalas… and truth be told, I don’t want to be pemalas..

I think apart of the reason that I feel so malas and have no mood to go to work is because of the work that I do now…

And I often wonder, what other job can I do, or should I do… what other jobs that can provide me with joy and will make me feel motivated and full of spirit, excited and look forward to coming to work..

I can give several answers to that, but there is none that I feel 100% confident that the feeling will not wither.. maybe I am just wired like that, meaning that I am wired to easily get bored and lose interest in something quite fast…

When I first started my Takaful advisor journey, I enjoyed it.. although there were a few times that I felt so leceh and frustrated, especially when the application got rejected or postponed due to health issues.. having to deal with deferment is very tiresome and not fun at all..

And that has led me to kind of lose interest in the industry altogether.. but I still have not completely stopped.. I just don’t do the prospecting thingy anymore coz I simply don’t like it… and I don’t feel the need now coz I have a full time job as an engineer..

I don’t entirely hate nor like my job as an engineer tho… it is Mondays like today that make me feel so malas to get to work and repeat the same cycle for the week, again and again.. which is the reason I get bored.. I still do go to work tho, otherwise, how else am I gonna afford life..

It is ramadan now, and I pray almost everyday, and every Friday during Friday prayers that I will be able to get rid of this laziness inside of me.. that I will find something that I thoroughly enjoy that I wont feel like I am working.. I so envy those who do…

But in the mean time, I just have to cope and bertahan… coz it don’t matter if I am bored or lazy or not in the mood… my bills don’t care about that, they will keep coming everytime…

One more thing that I will try starting from this new month, is that I intend to give more money to my parents… if before I give 300, 400, sometimes 500 to my mother only…

This month I want to give 500 to both my mother and father, and for duit raya, maybe 100 for each of them…

I hope with this giving attitude, Allah will grant me so much more in life, will grant my prayers and wish to be happy and rich, for my little family to grow healthy and happy and be successful and contributing citizens… eh skema pulak ayat…

Anyway, I think I know what I want to do today, and it is a lot… so until next time… later~~

bebel

20200306 0934

Its just a little update on my life affairs, considering that I didn’t post any entry in February.. so without further adue, here they are..

1.       Zurich Takaful

Not sure if I have shared about this before, but here I am sharing it again… I recently joined Zurich Takaful as an agent… well not recently, it was actually since last December…

I actually like being a Takaful Agent.. its not always easy but it is something that I quite enjoy doing so no complains here..

to be honest, I am not sure what I should write about regarding this topic… it feels like there are too many things but at the same time feels like maybe I shouldn’t bother writing about it at all.. duh…

Ok next topic please..

2.       The power of giving

The reason I feel compelled to talk about this is because I recently had experienced it first hand… how by me giving to other people had led me to getting so much more…

The saying is also very true that no one has ever become bankrupt from giving to charity, or from helping others…

Same as the previous topic, I feel like I just cant pin point the exact story that I want to tell here and also at the same time I feel like maybe its not necessary coz it might make me look like trying to show off or something… so I will just leave it at this….

I just wish that I will keep on giving to other people especially the less fortunate… without expecting anything in return coz I know God never forgets… and He has blessed me with so many already… so why not share it…

3.       New Work

Starting from 19 Feb 2020, I joined a new company… T7 Global Berhad as an E&I Commissiong Engineer… I am hired on a project basis, so it’s a fixed term contract… from what I heard the project is for 5 years with Repsol Malaysia, so if I do well, I will have a job for another 5 years… Alhamdulillah for that..

See point no 3? This is an example of what God has given/blessed me?

Ok maybe I could story a little bit on how I got the job… It was the Wednesday of the previous week when my wife share with me the advertisement which she found on LinkedIn.. and I straight away email the HR manager my CV…

The next day I received a call from the HR and an interview was scheduled on Friday with the client, Repsol E&I manager himself En Hairudin…

The interview in my opinion went pretty horrible, so I really didn’t think that I would get the job… and I told myself, its ok… maybe its for the best…

The next Monday while I was at Senawang for my Zurich 1314 class, we were in the middle of an exercise where we had to call as many people as we could to secure an appointment…

And when I was about to call my 1^st prospect, my phone rang and the HR manager Akram told me that the client has decided to extend the offer to me… 

I could hardly belief what I heard and I just said yes…

They wanted me to start the next day (Tuesday) but I said I couldn’t… reason being is that I was still shocked with everything that was going on… I asked if I could start by 1/3/2020 but he insisted to make it earlier… and since I had no job, I just said yes to start work on the 19/2/2020 Wednesday…

So here I am… at T7 office, with nothing to do… so much of rushing to get me start early… duh…

I was doing good with my Zurich thingy, already got momentum but now have to slow down and focus on this job instead… but I will still do Zurich takaful partimely, meeting people after works or during the weekend… so hopefully I can manage…

4.       Accident Motor

Not much to talk about this matter… just to share that I had an accident last Tuesday 3/3/2020…

I was trying to get in between the cars in front of me but there were fast moving bike… and I was looking to my right, not paying attention to the car in front of me and suddenly I hit the car to my front..

I fell to the side, scratched my knees, torn my newly bought slack trousers…

Had a few scratches on my leg and my left hand pinky finger was mildly fractured…

After the incident, I went to KPJ tawakal to get treated… got injected on my buttock with pain killer… I asked if I could be admitted but the doctor said no need… he then asked me to go see the specialist… he too said that I didn’t need to be admitted…

So total cost of treatment at emergency and at the orhto specialist was about rm400, which Razali told me could be reimbursed…

I already requested for the doctor to fill up the medical reimbursement form by mediexpress for the claim purpose… which costed me another rm50… duh…

Now awaiting the doctor’s report, then only I can submit the claim to Zurich…

I personally feel okay, my injuries were minor and I only got 2 days MC 3/3/2020 – 4/3/2020…

5.       Things to buy (wishlist)

Just because I have some extra money in the bank… so my appetite to buy unnecessary things has returned.. here are some of them

1.       Wireless earpods

2.       Buy from Fave Hair Perming Treatment

3.       Buy & install AC in Room 2

4.       Buy & install ceiling fan with light in Room 3

5.       Install built in wardrobe for Room 2

6.       Install wall mounted cabinet at Yard

7.       Install wall mounted shelf in Room 2

So based on my rough estimation, these items will amount to  approximately RM3500.. not bad I think…

But of course need to discuss with my wife first… huhu…

Ok that is all for today… till next time~~

Jom berbual lagi...

20200109 1030

Hi y'all!!

Since I am superbored at office today with nothing to do… I thought why not post a blog entry? Dah berapa harini asyik dok melayan Netflix je… baiklah aku menulis… dapat lah jugak aku meluahkan perasaan ke, berlatih menaip ke… praktis English ke…. Tapi ni hari aku x rasa nak speaking English, so aku akan tulis campur2 dalam Malay and English…

So as usual, untuk membuatkan penulisan ni lebih berstruktur, aku akan listkan dulu topik2 yg aku nak bualkan disini…

1.       Kisah orang sombong

2.       Kisah interview

3.       Kisah pindah rumah lagi

4.       Kisah perbelanjaan.

5.       Kisah hilang semangat dan keseronokan hidup

Oklah tu… 5 je lah dulu… kalua banyak sangat topik karang aku x dapat nak kupas dgn panjang dan dengan lebih detail… sbb nnt tangan dah penat, dan mata da rasa berpinau…

1.       Kisah orang sombong

Actually aku pun x berapa nak suka nak cakap pasal perkara ni, Cuma aku agak terasa hati dengan tingkahlaku beberapa kawan aku la… ada lah satu video ni aku dapat dari group whatsapp GOD, pasal kak vivi yg membebel pasal fonen nak tanya something tapi sibuk nak ber-hai hai dulu pulak…

pada aku video tu sangat lucu dan aku gelak besar bila tengok sbb telatak kak vivi ni mmg suker over… so aku pun forward la video tu ke kawan2 aku yg aku rasa akan enjoy the video jugak… actually, xda pun berharap untuk dapat respons dari diorang… tp bila x dapat response, dpt double blue tick je, aku rasa mcm kecik hati la jugak… 

Aku pun x pasti samada perasaan kecik hati aku tu berasas atau tidak… tp aku pun x faham kenapa kau x nak response kan… atleast LOL ke apa ke… ni tidak… kau dah kenapa? Nak nyombong ngn orang tak semena2… aku dengan kau kawan dah lama kot… tp kau buat layan tak layan je… busy bebenor ke hidup kau tu? X boleh nak bagi response walaupun sepatah perkataan?

Bikin bingit aku je bila fikir balik…

Tp aku ni xda la suka berdendam ke apa… dan aku pun fikir2 balik… aku nak kecik hati ke nak merajuk ke pun xda faedah nyer… so lantak la diorang x nak response pun, aku x perlu nak kecik hati… nnt kalau ada video2 yg kelakar lagi, aku forward je la lagi… kalau aku tengok dia x response lepas da baca pun, xpe la… niat aku nak share aje… sbg bahan gelak ketawa… benda bukan2 aku x share pun… benda2 lawak je aku share… dan kalau xda balasan pun xpe lah… yg buat sombong diorang, aku x sombong pun…

 walaupun dah ramai yg bagitau aku yang aku ni mmg ada muka orang sombong… tp aku perangai x sombong pun dik non… aku ni peramah jugak la orang nyer… tp xda lah terlalu ramah dengan orang x kenal pun nak bertepuk tampar bagai… berpada2 la…

Kepada kawan2 lama aku yg telah bersikap sombong tu, I have nothing more to say for now… but I will keep treating you as my friends and will keep sharing with you anything that makes me laugh, just so you will laugh too and hopefully, will give just a little joy in life… agittew…

2.       Kisah interview – sebelum dan selepas

Takda apa nak citer pun sebenarnyer… just nak bagitau semalam aku ada pergi interview kat kepong tu ha… sejauh2 alam kau… agak challenging jugak la semalam pada aku… dengan pengasuh anak2 aku x dapat jaga anak2 aku semalam sebab dia kena pergi hospital nak check darah ke ape tah… so aku terpaksa la bawak anak dara kecik aku si Adawiyah naik LRT balik wangsa maju… mintak tolong wife aku hantarkan ke lrt awan besar tu… masya-Allah jem teruk gila kat bukit jalil ni ha… lepas hantar aku kat lrt awan besar, dia kena meredah jem nak balik rumah lagi, akibatnya lambat la dia nak hantar anak bujang aku ahnaf ukail gi taska, dan lambat la dia pergi office…

Aku lak berdua dengan anak dara kecik naik train pergi wangsa maju… aku nyer tebiu kol 9.30am… sebbaik sempat la sampai… anak dara aku tu pulak time dalam train boleh pulak dia kencing, tembus pulak kena baju aku… koghase???

Masa dia melepas tu aku rasa panas je kat badan aku, memula aku skeptikal jugak sbb dia pakai diapers… aku tanya dia “adik kencing ke?” dia boleh senyum je pulak… adoyai anakku ini… geram betul la dengan kecomelan dia ni… tembus kena la baju aku yg nak pergi interview kejap lagi ni… maybe sbb diapers dia senget kot bila dia duduk dalam carrier yg melekat kat badan tu…

Sampai je lrt wangsa maju, terus bergegas keluarkan duit kat ATM, pastu amek teksi ke seksyen 2 wangsa maju… memula ingat nak amek grab, tp mahal pulak rm9… naik teksi tu baru rm4… dah la grab nak kena tunggu bagai… pastu nnt xtau nak pickup kat mana la… payah…

Sampai umah mak aku, nak bayar teksi tug una rm50 sekeping, pakcik tu xda duit pecah pulak… terpaksa la aku mintak duit mak aku nak bayar teksi tu…

Tinggalkan adik, bgtau mak dia nyer makanan dlm beg ape sumer, grab kunci HRV akak aku, terus gerak gi kepong utk iv…

Sampai agak awal, aku dpt la menjamu sarapan kat kedai kopi street depan office tu… mahal betul rm8.50 utk white coffee and chicken sandwich… tp sbb tgh lapar… makan aje lah…

The iv went well la jugak… citer la pasal education background and work experience… rasa mcm ok la… kalau ada rezeki ada la tu… xda pun dia tanya soalan2 teknikal yg aku x dpt jawab ke apa…. So skrg ni kita tunggu je lah keputusan nyer dalam seminggu dua… hopefully dapat la keje tu… xda lah aku nak pening2 risau xda keje kan…

Lepas iv balik umah mak, pastu mintak bapak anta balik jalilmas… sampai umah, ambik ukail dari taska, balik umah… bapak balik wangsa maju… kat umah, terus mandikan anak2… pastu suapkan adik makan, masak spaghetti, ukail suka betul makan spaghetti yg mak nyer masak semalam…

Itu je lah kisah interview aku semalam… x byk pasal kisah iv pun tp pasal kisah sebelum dan selepas jer…

Plan asalnyer petang iv tu, anak2 ni tokma nyer akan jaga… boleh pulak tukar plan last minute… tokma nyer tak dapat jaga petang semalam… kena terus pergi HKL katanya… so terpaksa la dedi ambik EL full day sbb nak jagak anak2… tak pasal2 unpaid leave dah kita… tp xpe la… berpenat-lelah untuk anak2... agittew...

3.       Kisah pindah rumah lagi

Takda kisah apa pun ni… Cuma aku terfikir la… kalau aku dapat keje kat Kepong tu… bini aku lak keje kat TTDI… patut x kalau kita pindah balik cari rumah area sana???

Kalau pindah ke sana, dekat sikit nak pergi keje kan… xda la nak kena menghadap jem je setiap hari… boleh bikin strees woo…

Rumah jalilmas tu carikan aje penyewa… kalau fully furnish macam rumah aku, paling2 nak letak sewa RM 1500 tu… sbb dekat dgn LRT, parking pun ada 2… rasanya mcm boleh sangat nak dapatkan penyewa tu… dapatlah cover instalment bank dgn maintenance fees… siap dapat positive cashflow lagi…

Tp kisahnyer nak pindah tu yg malas sangat tu… bukan keje mudah kan…. Aku pun baru terfikir je… tak discuss lagi dgn wife aku… tengok la camner keadaan nyer… keje kat Kepong tu pun belum tentu dapat lagi…

Biasalah aku ni memang suka fikirkan kemungkinan itu dan ini…

4.       Kisah perbelanjaan

Dalam kepala ni macam2 benda nak guna duit… nak servis kereta VCG, nak servis kereta WVE, nak repair motor WQR, nak beli rak utk pokok2, nak bayar yuran Uitm lagi… aiyooo macam2 lah nak guna duit…

Malas sungguh lah nak buat bajet perbelanjaan ni… kalau dpt je offer keje baru ni… harus aku akan menggunakan saja duit yg akua da utk segala macam perbelanjaan ni… xda masa nak fikir2 cukup duit ke tak…

Oklah malas nak citer panjang pasal ni… bikin stress kepala jer…

5.       Kisah hilang semangat dan keseronokan hidup

Sebab utama nak cakap pasal ni adalah kerana haritu I had the same discussion with my wife… sbb sekarang ni hidup mcm sangat bosan dan rutin, buat benda yang sama berulang-ulang dan dah xda benda2 menarik dalam hidup… sedih nye lah kan…

Dia cakap kita kena pergi travel baru la dapat melepaskan tension… memang la nak travel tapi bajet nyer enggak ada… ni sumer sebab tahun 2019 aku pindah rumah, bayar mcm2 nak masuk rumah renovate itu ini, beli barang2 rumah itu ini… so bajet utk berlibur dan bercuti tu takda… makanya, x dapat la kita sekeluarga nak pergi berjalan…

Tp yg lepas tu biarkan lah lepas… dah jadi pun… kita pun dah ada rumah yg fully equipped dan cantik sekarang… so sekarang ni kita focus kat masa sekarang dan masa depan…

So aku rasa it is time for me to start doing the budgeting and expenses tracking yg macam aku buat dulu tu… da dekat 2 tahun aku stop… malas nyer la pulak nak start balik…

Takpe la… kita buat slow2…

Berbalik kepada kisah hilang semangat ni, perkara ni da lama dah aku rasakan… masa tahun 2017 masa aku memula join geng GOD main VB, aku rasa sangat happy time tu sbb aku dapat bersukan main VB dan berseronok dgn bersokan…

 tp lama kelamaan, main VB tu pun dah rasa x best… dah x seronok… x exciting mcm dulu2… tp aku still pergi la jugak sekali sekala… kalau x pergi langsung karang x bersokan, kena macam2 penyakit lak aku… dah la x jaga makan… x bersokan pulak… jangan cari pasal… so kena la jugak bersukan walaupun light2 jer…

eh.. tibah cerita pasal bersokan dan kesihatan pulak… padahal topik nya pasal hilang semangat hidup…

sebenarnyer bukan mudah nak kupas pasal issue ni… dan aku yakin bukan aku sorang je yg mengalami masalah ni…. Mungkin majority orang dalam dunia sekarang pun mengalami masalah ni jugak… masing2 ada mekanisma yg tersendiri untuk cope dengan masalah ni…

mungkin jugak masalah ni merupakan masalah mentak yg mild… semuanya dalam kepala jer… 

dan cara paling bagus is kita control cara kita berfikir dan cara kita melihat hidup… menilai semula hidup… yg baik dan yang x baik… bersyukur dengan kelebihan dan berusaha memperbaiki kelemahan…

hmmm cliche nyer ayat...

Above all, apa sahaja masalah yg kita hadapi dalam dunia ni, pasti ada jalan penyelesaian nyer dan Allah sentiasa ada untuk kita meluahkan apa saja yg kita rasakan… dan Dialah yg berkuasa untuk mengizinkan permasalahan kita ni dapat diselesaikan… kita sebagai Hamba, kena usaha dan selalu berdoa la…

Cewah… tetiba fefeeling ostajah pulak aku harini…

Baiklah… sampai di sini saja hasil tulisan aku utk harini… nnt bebila time aku boring2 aku tulis lagi la yer…

Semoga bermanfaat…