not feeling well

i was on my way to go teaching tution but then suddenly i felt heavy on the head.. my eyes also heavy, felt like shutting them down all the times.. maybe i was sleepy or maybe i was starting to feel sick i also wasnt sure.. and this slash i got on my middle finger is only making my typing more difficult.. darn it..


so here i am at the kids house but im not teaching him tonite.. alip is.. im just sitting at a corner of the room minding my own business..just swallowed 2pills of panadol and now hoping that ill feel better when i want to go to bed tonite..

i was bored and had nothing to do.. so i thought this is a good time for me to update my blog.. although it has no visitor yet.. it doesnt matter.. as the title reads.. mine and mine alone.. translated from my old fs blog.. huhu.. sometimes i wish there are people who know and enjoy reading my blog.. sometimes when things got too personal, i'd wish it was only me here.. and only I will know.. haih.. kecelaruan gender sangat.. *matilatakdakaitan

i think i will tell about my trip to penang and how stupid them people were.. memang kuang ajar gila mereka..
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i actually stopped this post halfway the other night and continueing it now.. and suddenly i dont feel like talking about penang anymore..
i was reading my ex's blog and suddenly realized that i dont know her anymore.. i used to think anything that she wrote in her blog would have something to do with me.. but now i realize that she has moved on.. i dont matter to her as much as i once did.. well, i think i did matter to her.. maybe i was wrong at that too..

twice already that i have gone out with my friends and saw her with a new guy.. i dont hate her for that.. and i am not jealous with them.. but deep inside theres a feeling as if i have lost her.. i used to think that i would always have a place in her heart.. but seeing her twice happy with the new guy made me realize that i have been replaced.. that special space in her heart that once belonged to me now has a new owner and that guy is my friend too.. so i'm happy for them..

i am pretty sure that noone reads my blog now hence i blatantly talk about my ex and her new bf here..
in her latest post she also mentioned about the games we used to play when we were in auckland.. and i miss those too.. aahh.. how wonderful it is if i had a time machine so that i could travel and revisit my younger years.. those times in auckland when everything felt so right when they were wrong and nothing was impossible..(honestly i'm not so convinced with this).. but my point is.. i miss my life in auckland.. i miss the person i used to be.. so carefree and nonchalant in almost everything.. i turned out ok i guess.. bak kata matyer.. live more worry less.. thats so true..

nonetheless, lifes got to go on kan.. for odie dino nadiya liyana maisarah tajudin and whoever that is furthering their studies.. i salute you all.. not all has the courage to continue study after the gruelling 4 years in auckland.. to me it means that u guys havent had enough of aucland yet i guess.. well, nor have i.. tapi aku tiada the luxury to sambung stadi so sape yg ada tu.. beruntung la awak..

ok sampai disini saja lah.. dah takda apa nak borak da.. later~~

sooo random.. ok wakdol da tukar kerja.. :(

ok nak try letak gambar..

am i a lousy teacher?

salam..

last night i got the results of my student for his mid year exam and he failed all subjects except BM BI, PI and sejarah.. tu pon cukop2 makan jah lulus.. lain2 fail... that night i walked into the house i saw his mom.. she was expecting aliff coz obviously she wanted to talk about zarif's results with aliff.. nonetheless she told me about her son's results.. and yes she was smiling but at that time theres no word that can describe how malu i was.. i taught him 4 subjects and he failed miserably for all the subjects.. aiyooo tak tau la caner nak cakap malu gila aku time tu..

this has got me to thinking.. am i a bad teacher?? was it me who didnt try hard enough to get him to study.. someone told me before.. if the student has to give 100% in order to get good results, the teacher should work 200% for that too.. have i worked 200% for this kid? honestly, i dont think i have.. but that doesnt mean i have been slacking off.. doesnt mean i have taken things for granted..

and though this might sound to some people as an excuse that i use to escape the blame for his teerrible results.. i seriously think it was his attitude that had contributed to this dreadful results.. tapi... what can i say.. whatever i say, although it is true, i wouldnt matter coz what matters is something we can see.. something we can hold in our hands and show to people... and unfortunately in this case is his mafaking results... malu woo.. his results will only say that i am a failed teacher.. his results will get his parents to thinking that paying me for teaching his son has been a waste of time, energy and money.. arghhh.. this sucks.. i want to stop talking about it now....

ok now to start talking about the brighter side of my life right now.. and that being me and alip went to see a play at studio matic.. theater mak dara nyonya.. it consists of two stories.. one about mak dara, and the other one about nyonya.. the nyonya part ive seen with am and his frens a few years ago.. similar storyline from before although apparently there was a few scenes improvised by the players.. and i enjoyed it more now than before coz sarimah ibrahim is such a clown.. but i still love her..

the mak dara part carried out only by juhara ayob alone on stage without any prop was really good as well.. she's an amazing actress i must say.. last time, she was the nyonya.. and now it seems she's a senior and carries a more heavy character as mak dara.. aaahhh.. i am not doing it justice in describing how good she is.. shes really good..

hmm.. as im typing this, alip is lecturing zarif about his results and his mafaking results.. and i'm just sitting here listening.. not that i dont care.. i just dont want to interrupt alip.. let him speak la.. ive spoken enough last night...

okla, i think cukop la setakat ni.. till next entry.. later~~

and here it continues

salam..


i just realized that my friendster blog no longer exists.. macam haram jah.. aku cam baru nak update blog baru tetiba tgk da takda.. sedih ni.. and bengang gak la.. i've been writing in that blog since 2006.. haih la.. tapi nak buat caner kan... aku pon da boleh agak yg nyawa blog fs tu mmg da dihujung2 tanduk pon.. and maybe this is the right time for me to start a blog at blogspot lak..

i dont know if anyone will know about this blog of mine.. and for now i have no intention of letting people know.. not planning to make a public announcement about the birth of this blog.. kalau ada orang singgah dan baca so be it.. kalo xda pon takpa..

this blog can be thought of my fresh start now that i'm no longer a student.. im a working man now.. the stories i told in my previous blog will always remain a wonderful memory to me.. and now its time to start creating new stories.. we leave our past (people and places) behind only to meet new ones and to use the experience and lessons learned from before to make life now more meaningful and exciting..

ok macam poyo lak rasa ayat kat situ..

just nak mention a few things here.. last night we had a pesta pantun on twitter.. twas awesome.. lama da tak berbalas2 pantun mcm tu dgn old frens.. nnt derang da nak balek ke auckland nak sambung buat postgrad.. haih.. i will miss them..

also last night i bought 2 tickets to teater mak dara nyonya.. sunday 3pm at studio matic.. i hope its a good one.. and will get my money worth.. first was thingking to go see the saturday show but had been cancelled  due to safety reason.. the BERSIH demonstration posses possible threats to the public hence the cancellation.. OK that sucks and troublesome to some people, dont you think?

nothing much to update now.. maybe later.. need to iron rambut sekarang before going to work.. later~~