salam and hellow everyone..
damn im feeling so bored
now in the office altho its a freakin saturday.
haiyo.. i really need to find a job where i dont have to work on saturdays.
but nevermind, maybe some day i will..
so bored now.. dont have much to do.. waiting for suppliers to come back with their letter of support for the celcom tender
ok let me just get to the point here..
theres actually one reason why i want to blog now.. altho it might sound stupid, but yeah its happening..
i am in that position again.. position, situation, circumstance.. whatever u want to call it..
the last time i was in this situation was back in 2007..
i was head over heels.. i couldnt stop thinking about it.. and i was the one chasing..
and yes of coz it took quite some time for me to recover from the sucky situation i was in.. then i became this hard person, heartless? even to a point where i said id never be able to love of fall in love again..
now im feeling like its starting to happen again.. i will get to that but not just yet..
that time when i was recovering from the heartache and pain of being rejected, unwanted.. it was difficult and i didnt like it one bit..
but lifes a roller coaster.. the table was turned where i became the chased one, not the chasing one..
there were a few people who wanted to be with me.. so i felt good about myself.. and i started to treat people badly..
and started to become selfish.. saying things like "kalau ko xnak aku, aku kesah ke? belambak lagi menunggu"
oh yeah i said that!!
but now the wheel is starting to turn again..
i am starting to fall for some one now.. and.. i have mixed feelings..
i was really excited.. especially when it wasnt me who initiated the whole thing.. so you can imagine how excited it was for me..
but now i realize that its not always sunshine kan.. things can get ugly very fast..
hmm.. maybe its not ugly yet.. its just me whos thinking too much and making too many assumptions that arent necessarily true..
i think i will just take it as it is.. no heart feeling, nor overly attached emotions just yet..
i will not be the first one to say it!!!
ok over sangat statement tersebut!!
okthanksbye~~
Friday 19 October 2012
Friday 5 October 2012
Happiness
Happiness–in your business life and your personal life–is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Vendors don’t deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you’re also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering–because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
(MORE: More Turbulence for American Airlines)
a good guide for us to try to do, that is not to blame others when shit happens. but it is not as easy as merely saying it though.. easier said than done.. if we are to take the responsibility for things we didnt do, its like we are letting the ones who made the mistake get away with their faults.. we should atleast make them realize of the fault they have done and the impact it caused so that they realize it and do better next time.
well, maybe that is not blaming, but in order to make people better, they have to realize of whatever wrong theyve done (provided it was very clear, and proven they were faulty to begin with)
but when the issue is not so clear, and it was partially everybody's fault, the best thing to do is to make clear how things should have been done, then move on from there and rectify the mistake, making note so that it wont repeat itself.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you.
Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
this one i do not entirely agree. what the author says about being of some substance by being yourself, and attracting people to having relationship with us which i think is probably not so applicable to people nowadays since we are not living in an ideal world where everyone and everything is without fault/error.
people in this real world care for the wrong things. ok i should say most people, not all. admittedly that includes myself. i do get attracted to get to know people who look good, who have nice things, who care for their appearance. in this case, those who have substance but do not look as good would be ignored and taken for granted. Pity.
maybe i'm a bit of a pessimist, but i like to think of myself as being realistic. impressing is important to some extent, in some circumstances, as that is how people tend to get attracted to you. attracting people to you is important!!!
i am a strong believer in good a "first impression". people who we just met do not know us. the only thing they can see is how we bring ourselves when around other people. so if we dont bother to do anything impressive, be it wear beautiful clothes or use branded things (only do this if you can afford, if you cant, dont!!),
then they wouldnt even care for your existence.
my take on this is, impressing is not entirely bad, but also at times can be important. avoiding it to make yourself happier is not entirely correct i would say.
it is correct, meaning it will make you less happy if you try to impress others who don't matter when you cannot afford it. so you be the judge whether or not you should.
3. Clinging.
When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.
Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
True!!!
Fear of failing is good, it proves that we have had all the good things we need as we now fear of losing them.
Letting go so we can reach for what we want is also good but this can also be dangerous.
make sure you make all the preparation you need and to lower your expectation just so it would not hurt so much when you fail. most people fail the first time. just dont let your first failure be the reason you dont try again.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”
Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
They’ll love you for it–and you’ll love how that makes you feel.
(MORE: The Myth of Chinese Efficiency)
True!!
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don’t let friends whine–friends help friends make their lives better.
Whining is a big no no, but it doesn't mean that we aren't supposed to talk about the problem with others.
Asking for help is also good, just do not overdo it.
put it out once or twice to your friends or family. share with them and hopefully they get to help. only ask help from those who have the capacity to help.
but try not to burden them with you shit
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you’re the boss. Yeah, you’re the titan of industry. Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.
Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure–none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.
"Find people who want to go where you're going..."
Damn, if only its as easy as picking up Corntos from a 7 11. Control is not entirely bad. some people need to be controlled. some people like to be controlled. Not everyone knows what needs to be done.
if you're the boss, controlling your subordinates is crucial. also important is to let them express their thoughts and opinions. and make sure you think of their opinions/suggestions thoroughly. discuss them with a 3rd party if you must. be fair to them, fair to yourself.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else–including your employees.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people–and yourself–in a better light.
(MORE: The Worst Job in America)
True!! But this should not be a reason for junior executives to act smart and refuse to listen to comments made by their senior colleagues.
If you are new, learning should be your main priority, not trying to prove you're better than others
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything–and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
leave you feeling less happy?
somehow i find this to be inaccurate. those people who preach to others, letting others know of how experienced and knowledgeable they are, they must feel like the king of the world where he is the best in what he's doing.
preaching makes the preacher feels good. True! but what he does not know is that those people who he preached on are secretly hating him and are probably talking bad about him behind his back.
well, this is not a good thing to do, but in the real world, people do talk bad about others behind their backs.
do not mistake preaching as teaching. be sure that those people who you want to teach want to be taught, and like to be taught by you. sometimes although the content that to be taught is important and good for the students, but if it comes from someone whom they do not like they will not learn anything.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.
The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.
True!! this relates to item #1 Blaming.
dwelling it the past mistakes will not change what happened. just focus on how you can make things better next time
10. Fearing.
We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
(MORE: Improve Your Presentation in Real Time)
Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own–and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
So True. this also relates to item #3 Clinging
just to re-quote here "Today is the most precious asset you and is the one thing we should truly fear wasting"
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Vendors don’t deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you’re also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering–because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
(MORE: More Turbulence for American Airlines)
a good guide for us to try to do, that is not to blame others when shit happens. but it is not as easy as merely saying it though.. easier said than done.. if we are to take the responsibility for things we didnt do, its like we are letting the ones who made the mistake get away with their faults.. we should atleast make them realize of the fault they have done and the impact it caused so that they realize it and do better next time.
well, maybe that is not blaming, but in order to make people better, they have to realize of whatever wrong theyve done (provided it was very clear, and proven they were faulty to begin with)
but when the issue is not so clear, and it was partially everybody's fault, the best thing to do is to make clear how things should have been done, then move on from there and rectify the mistake, making note so that it wont repeat itself.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you.
Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
this one i do not entirely agree. what the author says about being of some substance by being yourself, and attracting people to having relationship with us which i think is probably not so applicable to people nowadays since we are not living in an ideal world where everyone and everything is without fault/error.
people in this real world care for the wrong things. ok i should say most people, not all. admittedly that includes myself. i do get attracted to get to know people who look good, who have nice things, who care for their appearance. in this case, those who have substance but do not look as good would be ignored and taken for granted. Pity.
maybe i'm a bit of a pessimist, but i like to think of myself as being realistic. impressing is important to some extent, in some circumstances, as that is how people tend to get attracted to you. attracting people to you is important!!!
i am a strong believer in good a "first impression". people who we just met do not know us. the only thing they can see is how we bring ourselves when around other people. so if we dont bother to do anything impressive, be it wear beautiful clothes or use branded things (only do this if you can afford, if you cant, dont!!),
then they wouldnt even care for your existence.
my take on this is, impressing is not entirely bad, but also at times can be important. avoiding it to make yourself happier is not entirely correct i would say.
it is correct, meaning it will make you less happy if you try to impress others who don't matter when you cannot afford it. so you be the judge whether or not you should.
3. Clinging.
When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.
Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
True!!!
Fear of failing is good, it proves that we have had all the good things we need as we now fear of losing them.
Letting go so we can reach for what we want is also good but this can also be dangerous.
make sure you make all the preparation you need and to lower your expectation just so it would not hurt so much when you fail. most people fail the first time. just dont let your first failure be the reason you dont try again.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”
Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
They’ll love you for it–and you’ll love how that makes you feel.
(MORE: The Myth of Chinese Efficiency)
True!!
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don’t let friends whine–friends help friends make their lives better.
Whining is a big no no, but it doesn't mean that we aren't supposed to talk about the problem with others.
Asking for help is also good, just do not overdo it.
put it out once or twice to your friends or family. share with them and hopefully they get to help. only ask help from those who have the capacity to help.
but try not to burden them with you shit
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you’re the boss. Yeah, you’re the titan of industry. Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.
Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure–none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.
"Find people who want to go where you're going..."
Damn, if only its as easy as picking up Corntos from a 7 11. Control is not entirely bad. some people need to be controlled. some people like to be controlled. Not everyone knows what needs to be done.
if you're the boss, controlling your subordinates is crucial. also important is to let them express their thoughts and opinions. and make sure you think of their opinions/suggestions thoroughly. discuss them with a 3rd party if you must. be fair to them, fair to yourself.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else–including your employees.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people–and yourself–in a better light.
(MORE: The Worst Job in America)
True!! But this should not be a reason for junior executives to act smart and refuse to listen to comments made by their senior colleagues.
If you are new, learning should be your main priority, not trying to prove you're better than others
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything–and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
leave you feeling less happy?
somehow i find this to be inaccurate. those people who preach to others, letting others know of how experienced and knowledgeable they are, they must feel like the king of the world where he is the best in what he's doing.
preaching makes the preacher feels good. True! but what he does not know is that those people who he preached on are secretly hating him and are probably talking bad about him behind his back.
well, this is not a good thing to do, but in the real world, people do talk bad about others behind their backs.
do not mistake preaching as teaching. be sure that those people who you want to teach want to be taught, and like to be taught by you. sometimes although the content that to be taught is important and good for the students, but if it comes from someone whom they do not like they will not learn anything.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.
The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.
True!! this relates to item #1 Blaming.
dwelling it the past mistakes will not change what happened. just focus on how you can make things better next time
10. Fearing.
We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
(MORE: Improve Your Presentation in Real Time)
Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own–and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
So True. this also relates to item #3 Clinging
just to re-quote here "Today is the most precious asset you and is the one thing we should truly fear wasting"
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