Intersections

20171221 0919 Thursday

Hola people.

For some reasons I am feeling like this week is so panjang.. its as if time is moving super slow.. and I am not sure why exactly but I feel like I cant wait for the week to be over, as well as next week to be over so I will be done with this company.

Leaving this company without any offer from other company is actually quite terrifying but I know I have to do this. I know and I am certain that leaving this company is what I need to do, and it is the right decision for me.

Although it comes with the scare of not being able to provide for the family due to having no employment, I believe that its God that provides for us and not this company.. knowing this it makes me feel more at ease and confident with the decision.. Despite having the scare once in a while, each time I remind myself of this fact, I will be at ease.. having faith on Him that things will be fine and good for my family..

Must I talk about what is/are the reason(s) that I am no longer able to put out with the company?

I believe maybe not.. coz I do not see the benefits of it..

Earlier this week on Monday I had an interview with another company, an MNC from German who produces machines for making cigarettes.. I know cigarette is haram for muslim but I am not sure about working for the company who makes the machine that makes the cigarettes.. is it haram as well?

I guess I need to ask alim ulama` about it.. do I have doubt? Yes I do.. so what do I do if I got the offer? Should I just accept it first? Just because I want to feel secure having a job, being employed?

It has always been my principle that if I have doubt about something, I will not do it.. but the opportunity seems like its too good to pass.. so what I must do now is to check with the alim ulamak on the hukum hakam..

I actually paused this post, googled the whatsapp number for tanyalah ustaz tv9 and I sent them the question.. yet to be answered

Lately while I was riding my bike I wud be thinking about many things, mostly positive things, things that can make me smile. I am trying to remember them right now but I cant seem to.. its so funny..

I remember this morning on the bike I was thinking about nursajat who is venturing into property business, which is a good thing.. and I asked myself, if she can do it why cant i? is it because shes already rich from her other businesses so it is easier for her to make more money coz she has the capital.. well that is true, but then I can ask the next question how did her other businesses become successful? Is she a very smart person? Or is she plain lucky? Or is she the kind of person who works hard, and discipline with her money & spending? From what I know she didn’t come from a rich family, so how could she become successful like today?

I know its so random that I thought of nursajat, the same could be said about many other businessman/woman who are successful (just random).. the key to it is working hard and perseverance..

Why am I talking about business? Am I planning to do a business?

I no longer have that plan in mind to be honest. I used to do.. but as time passed, I began to realize that its not so easy.. and for some reasons I just don’t feel like I want to go thru the hassle of being busy all the time with the business until I will have no time for my family.. and life..

For now what I have in mind is to further my studies.. I hope Its not too late. I am only 30 years old today.. I think itll be good for me to have a master’s degree, then insya-allah if God wills it I will further some more to take phd.. I know its not going to be easy but I know for certain that this is a good thing and Allah will help me and my family thru it all.. I see this as a similar thing to me getting married, it was a challenge for me and my wife and we both believed that we were doing a good thing and Alhamdulillah, God made it easier for us and it went well.. we managed every obstacle one by and one and here are today, happily married w a comel kid AhnafUkail, who is my whole life right now.. insyallah, we plan to have more children, but no rush, just trust that its all in Gods plan..

So why they sudden desire/want to further study? it was during one night when we had to sleep in wangsa maju, at my parents house when my degree cert just came from NZ, one that I had asked for replacement because the original one is lost(I might have misplaced it somewhere and unable to locate it so I decided to just ask for a replacement).. and looking at the degree cert which I had earned thru the hard work of 4 years in a foreign land, being New Zealand, it is something I need and I can be proud of.. and I know then that I want to have that same thing again but this time in my own country.. I started googling master degree programs that are being offered at UITM, UniKL(.. and now I feel even more confident that I can do it.. insya-allah.. I don’t want to get overconfident tho.. but I know it is all do-able.. the PHD part is still too far for me to be thinking for now but I will get there.. I have actually considered a few topics of field of research that I can actually be doing/interested in doing but I will not discuss them here coz as I said, it is still too far ahead in the future.. I will focus with the task at hand for now which is to get my masters degree..

So for now Im kinda at an intersection, one being to go work for the cigarette making company, in which if I do, I don’t think I will be able to do my masters degree as the job requires me to travel most of the time (they have not even offered me the position yet, but its fun to imagine and plan things in advance), the other path that I can take is to do grab/uber for now which will give me the flexibility of time to do my masters degree.. honestly speaking, if I was ever at the point where I have to choose, I don’t know which one I will take.. I will have to wait for the answer from the alim ulamak about the hukum of working for the cigarette making company coz that will be a really be big factor to weigh in, could be a deal breaker if its actually haram.. (I still need to get 2^nd opinion tho and not just from 1 POV)

Well either way, I pray for the best.. that is what I should be doing at this point.. always pray and ask God for the best, and have faith that whatever path that I will take, it is in God’s plan.. coz He knows whats best for me and my family, and insyallah no regrets..

Owh I forgot to mention earlier, when I was contacted by the HR manager of the cigarette machine company, it was merely 2 or 3 days after I had a discussion w my wife. Celebrating our 3^rd year anniversary, we were having dinner at an Indonesian restaurant, and the meal I had reminded me of the time when I was in Indonesia w a colleague on a commissioning job while I was still working for Omega integration. My wife noticed the change in my facial expression and then asked whats wrong and I told her that I had missed working like how I used to.. to travel for work, which I did quite often when I was with Omega.. and its like God’s plan that the company HR contacted me, that I was presented with this opportunity again..

I know it sounds like all so good but I really need to be certain about the hokum of working for the company before accepting any offer (there is no offer yet, hahaha)

During the interview the Manager learned that I used to study in NZ and asked, what if theres an open position in New Zealand and they want to be work there, what do I say to that?

I was like.. Girrrrrl, don’t play w me boo… I mean like I will never say no to that kind of opportunity..

Never in my life time will I reject that kind of offer.. LOLZ.. that’s exactly how I wished I had responded to her question but of coz not.. I had to maintain the level of professionalism answering that question.. I simply said “I would love that”

Owh another thing that id like to share here.. this is quite an old news but I think its still a good news..last month in November I sat for the online exam for the PTD M41, that is Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik, which is one of the most coveted positions in the Malaysian Government.. (I feel like I have told this story somewhere but I cant remember where)

Preparing for the online exam I actually did research and came across this website timkerjaya where they actually sell e-books to help us study.. ebooks and notes with the relevant topics and syllabus for the online exam.. and I didn’t think twice to but them coz I thought id rather not regret failing the test just because I was too stingy to spend money on the notes.. the online test was on a Friday, and I even skipped work that day coz I wanted to finish my studying.. hahaha but I actually spent most of the day watching breaking bad, and only spent the last few hours to study..

Well I have no regrets, yes the notes have been a help but knowing how I work, I know that even if I had spent the entire day studying, it wud not have made any difference.. actually I have finished reading the notes the night before, I just needed some time to do the sample questions so that’s what I did..

And so I studied hard for the exam, and Alhamdulillah I passed the online test.. so I checked the internet, the next stage they will call the candidates for an assessment which includes a physical fitness test, public speaking, working in a group and etc.. but alas up until today I am still waiting for them to call me.. but I will not lose hope.. I don’t want to get stressed out, if its meant to be it will be.. so lets just chill them titties.. lolzz

Okla I guess that is long enough for today.. I need to complete this sales quote coz I need to go to Genting this evening.. huhu.. so till next time.. later~~

20171208 1049 Friday

Harini pergi kerja for some reasons I feel sangat positive..

Dalam perjalanan atas motor tu banyak perkara yg aku fikirkan.. boleh dikatakan semuanya positif, sampaikan aku boleh terlepas simpang keluar dari LDP nak pergi office.. maybe sbb terlalu khusyuk berangan, dan aku happy sbb apa yg aku fikirkan tu benda2 best..

Biasa la bila kita tengah fikir benda2 positif kita akan tak sedar masa, ataupun benda2 sekeliling..

Aku sekarang ni jenis yg senang lupa benda..

Apa yg aku fikir time dalam perjalanan dtg kerja tadi pun aku dah tak ingat.. mungkin sbb benda tu x penting jadi aku xda la sungguh2 nak igt pon..

Tp mostly about kerja la rasanya.. about masa depan family.. about cari duit..

Sekarang kat office dah tak stress dah sbb aku da resign dan aku dah tak kisah pon apa2 pasal kerja.. aku buat je la mana yg boleh.. kalau sebelum ni rasa stress sbb kita nak buat yg terbaik sepanjang masa, which results in poor performance sbb stress.. aku percaya kalau kondisi kerja tu tak stress, hasil kerja pon bagus.. skrg ni aku rasa aku kerja bagus je sbb aku dah x stress.. dan ada la jugak sesekali tu rasa mcm sayang pulak nak tinggalkan kerja ni sbb skrg ni rasa cam best dan kita pon enjoy buat keje..

Tapi tu la the tricky part.. nak less stress kena resign pulak.. tp kalau da resign da takda keje la kan.. duh!

Kalau la company dan office tu ada environment yg x memberi tekanan, mesti staff akan dapat perform lebih baik.. tapi maybe sbb ada kemungkinan nnt staff akan menyalahgunakan pulak, majikan pun jenis yg tak memberi kepercayaan..

Oklah dah xda mood pulak nak cakap pasal tu.. nak citer pasal benda lain..

Aku ada apply utk jadi tutor kat math clinics, aku register thru the links that I saw on fb.. pastu orang tu txt mintak video aku buat mock teaching.. aku pun struggle jugak haritu sbb x pernah buat dan tak reti nak edit2 video ni.. walaupun video tu masih perlu editing aku send je la sbb aku rasa mcm minor je benda yg nak diedit tu.. lolz.. dan aku pon x sure what kind of mock teaching that they are looking for..

I honestly think that I am a good teacher.. maybe an ok teacher, I don’t think I am really bad tho, but I will agree that I need to improve on some aspects.. which I think that’s normal for everything.. its good kan to improve on things.. to think that you have rooms for improvements..

Haha apa la yg aku merepek ni kan..

Cerita selingan, aku rasa cam kesian pulak dekat aliffsyukty terlajak laris tu sbb ramai netizen unlike video dia kat youtube.. dan dia pulak post dekat dia nyer instagram asking why many would unlike..

Aku rasa itu sangat tak perlu kot.. its like youre memberi peluang utk orang2 netizen utk make fun of u even more..

Chill je la kalau orang da unlike..

If ur resilient, make another video and see the results, wish for the best.. but don’t make it known to public that youre hoping them to like your work..

I mean if its good then its good la.. tak perlu nak mintak2 netizen utk like kan.. kalau orang x suka dah la..

The next step should be ko givap or ko try again..

Tapi aku tak kisah pon sbb aku tak la nak unlike video dia dgn sajat tu..

My personal view on the song is that its not bad..

I guess people unlike the video sbb derang sangat gedik dan mengada2.. now ditambah dengan dia mintak utk orang like the video, I am sure nnt mesti lagi ramai yg akan unlike the video.. biasa la netizen kan mmg gitu.. hahaha why bother bak kata azwan ali..

Owh speaking of azwan ali, I heard that hes planning to join politics and compete against his brother azmin ali in the upcoming election, and I was like.. “really bitch?”

I am just so speechless, rasa cam like eh ko ni biar betul la pondan..

But I guess theres no use for me to cakap banyak.. might as well grab some popcorns and enjoy the show..

Owh speaking of popcorns, brother popcorn ni tah bila nya nak balik Malaya aku nak ambik stock ni sbb da ramai budak office yg bertanya.. LOLz

Okla sampai di sini saja rencana kita pada harini.. tiba cam da bosan lak.. walaupon cam ada byk je benda yg nak diceritakan ni.. maklumlah da berbulan dan post kat blog ni..

Sehingga di lain masa.. daaa~

bebel lagi la kita

20170801 1629 Tuesday

I am so not in the mood to meroyan here now.. as usual perasaan mcm ada yg x kena..

Ada byk keje ke?

Rasa macam patut ada byk keje, tp skrg rasa cam xda kejepulak.. susah nak describe perasaan ni..

Ada project baru, si TJ tu kata nak soh aku handle.. tp akucam blur2, what exactly nk aku buat ni.. lol..

Project utk lift destination kat menara maxis..

Aku pon mcm x betul2 di brief pasal projek tu, so aku ponblur2 je la..

Maybe because benda baru nak start kot so mcm xda pape lagila yg nk disibukkan..

Tp nnt bila da start keje pe sume nnt jd sibuk la aku ni kot..

Niat nak pergi gym jogging sejam sehari tu hanya akantinggal harapan je la.. lolz..

Pastu TJ cakap ada satu lagi halfway done project utk buat as built drawing Genting..

I am all ok with whatever the job he wants me to do but I am not sure how I am supposed to proceed without any guide or clear direction of what needs to get done, when or how..

I mean if its clearly mentioned this and that, or that I have full control over what I need to do to achieve the objective, then its fine la.. I can plan what I want to do, be it not the best way to achieve the goal, but its my way, its my plan.. and although there may be better ways, I will take pride in knowing that I did it all on my own..

That is something that I can be proud of..

I just finished downloading game of thrones s07e03 on my phone, using the office wifi its so fast..

I wanted to watch stream on yesmovies but even w the 80mbs speed of my office internet, the streaming on yesmovies was not smooth.. so I fed up, I decided to download thru torrent using my android phone..

So now da habis download aku nak menikmati la episode sirikegemaran aku ni..

Tapi aku juga mahu menulis keroyanan dalam ni..

Anyway haritu besday aku, on that day aku pegi main tournament volleyball kat mbsa seksyen 19..

Team aku team medusa menang champion.. xda dapat duitpon.. dpt nama je la.. lolz..

I don’t know why I expected my birthday to be great.. but it wasn’t..

Well, I shudve known better not to have any expectation..

And the fact that I was susceptible to falling to wanting to expect, that disappointment is something I have to just bear and live with.. idiocy!

Everyday I send my child to taska before leaving for work, and thus far everyday he will cry when I was about to take my leave..

I wud hug him and kiss him, then pass him to the teacher, he wud shake his hand and cry, owh it breaks my heart seeing him like that..

I did ask the teacher then how he was doing, the teacher replied hes doing fine, sent his photos playing, smiling and looking happy..

Aaa I am missing my child.. hari2 jumpa pon rindu.. mandikan dia hari2..

Mandi sama2 lak tu..

Pagi2 suapkan dia makan..

Malam2 pelok, tepuk belakang dia nak tido..

Okla dah la tu nak tulis kat sini cukup la bebel je keje.. lolz

isnin

20170724 1508 Monday 

Salam

Xtau caner nak describe perasaan ni sekarang.

Pening kepala

Mengantuk

Risau

Ada keje, prepare template utk write up dgn A&E Specs ni

Aku da start buat

Tp rasa cam x konfiden dgn apa aku buat tu

Tadi si Punitha tukomen pasal BQ pulak

Ekceli bukan punitha tp TJ

20hb aritu dia bagi documents and dalam email dia tulis“Prepare BQ”

Xda instruction lain

So aku pun buat la ikut format yg aku guna sebelum ni, sbbdia nak BQ je, bukan nye quotation.

Dan ni utk client yg sama which is for Genting, so I used the format I used previously, tukar quantity of door je, but I wasn’t/am not sure on the quantity of the workstation tho, coz its not specifically mentioned in the Clients BQ.

So on the same day I replied her w the BQ, and of course informed her..

Then the next day or 2 days after she said she hadn’t received the email so I resent to her..

Then just now she said she still hadn’t received so I resent again..

I also copied the BQ which I prepared and saved in a pendriveto give to her, then suddenly she said she received dy.. andthen she said nxt time after sending her email, please inform her.. I was like “!@#$!#@%” internally but I was too tired to argue so I just nodded.. I figured no good could come out of arguing with her so I didn’t..

TJ received my email, which I sent to Punitha and cc-ed to him.. she said I shudve used the format the Client gave..

I was like.. hmmm… whats the purpose of the BQ actually?, its for us to know our cost price, by specifying each item/accessories required for the addition of doors..

So there is no necessity to follow the clients format..

And its not like I didn’t follow at all.. I followed the numbering, which to me is enough for the sales person like punitha to key in the unit price for each item..

But since I really cudnt be botherd to argue so I didn’t.. thenhe said he’ll do it.. so I was like.. okla.. buat la kau..

Dunno whats wrong w me.. I just cudnt be bothered about so many things..

I can only assume this is another effect of getting old, I guess

Its like I have lost interest in most of the things in life.. thereare only a few that can make me feel excited, one of them is volleyball..

But even volleyball can sometimes be boring, but other times, most of the time best and fun..

Its my birthday month and I got free tickets to tgv and mbobut I just cant afford to go watch the movies, because my wife will be mad if I go without her.. but I don’t how she can come w me to watch with ahnaf ukail around.

She wudnt agree if I suggested that we send ahnafukail to my mak for her to watch while we go watch the movie.

Also that my mak will be at the hospital jaga my bapak who was admitted 2 days ago, due to sakit perot

Yesterday I went to visit him, the doctor was going to insert camera into his stomach to see the insides.. and he said one of the doctors suspected him of having kanser perot, I am not sure if its colon cancer or stomach cancer..

I know its an appaling news and I shud be scared and sad etc..but I feel like it is unlikely..

Not saying that I am fortune teller or psychic, but I don’t think, and cant imagine my bapak having cancer.. dunno why I feel this way but that’s just how it is..

Semalam we went to the curve and makan at johny rockets..my wife belanja.. dunnot why we decided to go out to the curve just for lunch, and that we went to eat at such a mahalplace..

Maybe my wife felt what I felt too.. I was frustraded by the stupid AC installer, who I got from Kaodim.. he changed our appointment time and was late and I was pissed, I said Fucker and Go to Hell to him.. I even called him idiot.. sbb dialambat and I felt cheated.

So untuk pasang the AC, I have asked Aizat budak PWS to install, dia charge slightly mahal than the kaodim guys.. I hope dia pasang AC ni elok2 la.. huhu..

My wife beli barang from Tesco byk betul..

She had to pay for all the spendings now considering that I aint got no more cash left..

I paid for the AC, water heater and other things which I purchased from lazada using my cred card.. close to 1k jugakla..

I asked her to pay for the AC installation fees which is going to be RM250.. she said ok..

Owh I feel a bit stressed now sbb duit mcm da habis.. lps tumcm2 nak beli..

Pastu org yg sewa rumah johor tu nak keluar rumah pulak, so mcm2 la kesesakan nye skrg ni..

Stress, risau..

Tp x guna jugak nak risau2.. sebenarnye kalau kita berjimatcermat boleh je sebenarnyer..

Xda la nak gi makan kat johny rockets kan.. huhu… tp sekalisekala je yg semalam tu…

Last makan johny rockets pon time kat Kuwait dulu tu ha.. dabertahun kan.. sekali sekala xpe la..

Lagipun sbb time tgh stress nak melayankan perasaan ni..

Harini da start bawa bekal utk makan lunch.. tadi makanbrekfes separuh pastu lg separuh makan time lunch.

Omaigod aku x reti la caner nak tulis proposal template ni..

Rasa cam tau, tp cam ada something yg menghalang aku darinak teruskan buat template ni.. da start halfway pastu rasa kemalasan tu datang..

Rasa malam tu juga disebabkan aku sndiri cam x konfidensamada apa yg aku buat ni betul ke x..

Nak feeling2 mcm mak tara mae, “the devil wudnt let me”

Owh I already submitted leave form utk cuti khamis ni, and I learned that I don’t have any cuti, not before I am confirmed as a staff.. lolz..

Lantak la.. unpaid pun unpaid la.. janji aku nak cuti khamisni..

Walaupon ada pelbagai perkara yg membuatkan aku stress lately, mostly sbb kesempitan wang ni..

I believe it will end soon..

But hey there are also happy things in going on in my life recently..

I get to see my son everyday..

Saying nye kat budak tu.. today is his first day kat taska.. mywife asked the teacher to take photos of him dekat taska.. andhe looks like enjoying himself.. seronok sangat nampaknyatu.. huhu..

Daddy rindu budak omel ni.. walaupon dia suka eksyen dgndedi dia ni..

My team leader just gave me an assignment

To go site visit at AIA, then produce a solution for the clients problem, regarding their glass railing and turnstiles..

Nak pegi site survey ni aku x risau..

Yg risau nye part nak produce solution tu..

Haha lantak la nnt diskas je la dgn si TJ ni..

Pastu mesti cam busy nak buat BQ

Nak buat drawing ke

Nak tau apa nak buat lagi..

Da la ada 2 site AIA tu kena pergi.. kat Menara AIA dgnWisma AIA… tp aku rasa dua2 tempat tu x jauh la kot from each other..

Eh malas la nak stress2.. buat je la keje mana yg mampu manayg tahu.. yg x tahu tu kena la Tanya orang atasan kan.. kalau x baik x yah ada org atasan kalau semua pon nak kena fikirsendiri..

Dah malas la nak pening2 kepala fikir solution sendiri, baikkita report je dan have it discussed so solution nye tu nntsemua org tahu dan semua org agree.. xda la kita nakdisalahkan kalau solution kita bagi tu bila da buat nnt org x approve, byk pulak komen nye, banyak lak cikadak nye.

Omaigod I am so mengantuk already..

Until next time.. later~~