.....

salam..

honestly i just dont know what to write as the title so the dots serve the purpose i reckon..
its saturday today and im not working.. for the first time after oh so many saturdays i havent had day off on saturday.. so im gonna spend the whole day lying in bed and watch movies, lazing around eating chip and get fatter... darn!!

actually i already wrote something last week when i was at wangsa maju due to severe boredom so i thought maybe i should just copy what i wrote then and place it here.. so here it goes..

"

Ohmgee.. i just have this need to write here.. i don’t know how to start.. but.. i just have to start.. say something here.. i don’t feel really good. I don’t know if i shud think too much about it.. i kinda think if i talk about it then i am already making it a big deal and that it will be an issue.. and if i just keep quiet and let it go then it will pass me by.. haaa.. i think i will talk about other things and just leave that one out.. im pretty sure that it will be gone in no time..

Just now when i was sitting in the kitchen with my mak and kakjuliana.. juli did say something about a girl named syazwani she knew from the serrajam thingy and she said this syazwani girl is 2 years older than me.. has fair complexion, from Kelantan, wears hijab, studied engineering in korea.. haa from what she told me i cannot find any reason why i shouldnt like her.. coz all those criteria i certainly can live with.. although i don’t really look for a gf or a wife right now.. juli asked if i wanted to berkenalan, to get to know the girl and i said yes.. huhu.. i just thought that was the right answer to give to her at that time.. tak salah kalau setakat nak berkenalan... kan?

To me its simple.. if its meant to be, its meant to be..

Haa now i think i wanna talk about other things..

Earlier today PWS had a bowling competition held at sunway mega lanes.. and i won... hooray... i won mens champion and also group win..we played 3 games and i scored 176 the first game.. it was pretty high for a non professional.. but later for 2^nd and 3^rd game my pin fall became less but when the scores from the 3 games were averaged, i still scored the highest compared to others.. hoho ohsem... alip got second place and jan got 3^rd place..i got rm 80 for mens champion and rm50 for the group win.. pretty awesome day aite?.. it was as if i worked OT on a holiday for 11 hours... hahaha 11 x rm12 = rm132.. my honest opinion for todays bpwling competition is that i was plain lucky.. haha... had we played for 5 games or more, i would’ve lost i think coz i couldn’t be consistent..

Haa theres another thing, last Thursday went to MEPS bangsar for PM servicing of genset, vesda and fire suppression system.. and something happened.. when we were on level 2 and were in the middle of doing the servicing on the FAP, the clean agent gas discharged.. i was in the M&E room 2 with Eric my colleague.. he was about to climb up the ladder to test the heat detector in that room and suddenly we heard a deafening sound and felt an enormous rush of air from behind the room.. damn it was scary.. all i could think of at that moment was that i needed to get out from there ASAP.. i was so scared that i didn’t care who was in front of me and i pushed Eric (i didn’t realize this at all) to the door.. huhu sorry dude..

I don’t know who designed the access door at meps but as far as im concerned when there is an emergency, a good example is when the FSS gas had discharged and the alarming sound is activated, thats when all the security access door should be disable.. but this was not the case in meps coz the magnetic lock for the door was still energized despite the alarm.. haa.. lucky it wasn’t a real fire or else i probably would’ve been locked in unable to get out... well maybe not locked in there in a dangerous way coz at that time all meps staff were still inside the command center room and i would still be able to escape when they escaped.. hmm.. the bottom line is, there is definitely a design flaw on the access door system for meps.. maybe i should address this problem during our meeting later...

"

its funny that i read it again haha its only been 1 week... maybe i shouldve written that as another post so that this one wouldnt be so long one but whatever la.. janji ada situ..

nothing much to talk about.. its october already and i am still not happy with my job coz the pay is very small... damn it... i still havent got over of this shitty fact.. i should be able to move on from it... but maybe i will only get to move on from it once im out of this job and in with a better one.. oh lord i seek from you strength to stay with the company until my contract ends and please grant me with opportunities much better in accord to what i deserve.. eh kenapa ni tetiba cakap pasal keje lagi??

ok lets not dwell in that.. i have a new kegemaran now.. well its not new coz this one particular thing ive done since i could remember.. i actually love to sing and record my singing on my phone.. hahaha i know its so lame and funnayh.... but i think almost everybody has done that.. atleast once..

this brought me a memory once i had this singing session with odie back when we were in seremban.. it was only the first few days in college when we hardly knew anyone else.. we were close coz we were from jasin together.. and the song we sang was dialah di hati by siti nurhaliza.. tempat kejadian was his room dorm B bawah bilik no 1... (damn! how i can still remember this??)

owh lord we thought.. atleast i honestly and foolishly thought that we sounded good when we sang it.. but when we played the recording we sounded so awful hokay... omgee we were like so hadek2 berangan siti or mariah carey.. i wish i still have the recording now but i dont.. huhu i think odie deleted it already..

speaking of memories.. that wasnt the only time me and odie recorded ourselves singing though.. second time was also in his room but this time in auckland.. second year at empire building.. he had just bought his apple PC with the big ass screen and very nice camera for skyping etc etc.. this time we werent alone.. encik dalino also joined.. and the song this time was shiela majids one (was it shiela majid though??) but i cant remember what actually.. this time it was worse coz not only we could hear ourselves but also see our actions coz we used the webcam app.. hahahha... bangang odie even danced in the background hahaha.. while dino and i sang our hearts out thinking we were so good.. huhuhu... and as usual when we watched the playback... nan ado yalls... damn i miss my friends...

ok enough with memories.. back to what i was saying about me liking to sing and record them.. the other day alip downloaded karoke clips for adeles songs.. i didnt ask him to.. he did it himself.. so after the download completed i played the song.. with lyrics on screen... so it went without saying la i just had to sing the song and i was holding my phone.. at first i just thought "this iphone can record sound right?? so why not record me singing this awesome adele song set fire to the rain"... and so i did.. haha.. same mistake i made coz i genuinely thought i sounded good but when i listened back... so bangang ok.. when will i learn?? i hated my own voice... i so cannot become a singer la..  why did i think i was good?? maybe because of false / fake comments people gave me during karoke sessions.. damn!! i have been misled to think i could sing when i really cant... haaa so bangang... huhuhu but it was for fun so lantak la..

now that think about it.. i think i shouldnt waste today by just lazing around in bed... i wanted to go swimming actually..  but then i thought im so fat nowadays it would be a crime to let other people see this awful fat storage warehouse and the muffin top along with it.. shit i hate being fat..

rasa macam nak keluar but i dont know to go where.. no plan, with no friends to hang out with.. kawan2 kerja pon sumer macam busy with their own shit.. haih la.. i miss being around my friend just chilling, playing games, gossiping, pillowtalking, watching movies... hmm.. i miss my student life.. haaa no use dwelling in that either coz none of it is coming back.. so better to just leave it at that.. revisit next day ok..

ok rasa macam da malas nak nulis.. maybe should go mandi so that akan rasa more fresh..
later yallzzz~~~

probabbly im thinking too much... but shouldnt i be??

salam..

damn its been long.. the previous entry was last month during raya.. and now its still raya actually.. in fact, my kakak was having an open house at her house in seremban but i couldnt go because of work.. this week is my turn holding the standby handphone and today i received a call from MEPS at bangsar south asking me to go there to check the alarm on VESDA bla bla bla.. damn work..

haih.. i hate to beat around the bushes so i prefer to go straight to talk about the main/actual thing i want to talk about here..

ok i was on facebook just now.. reading the newsfeed, looking at peoples photos and profiles.. and then went on twitter reading peoples updates etc etc.. all the usual stuffs i do.. then this thought came to me.. actually ive been thinking about it so many times before.. and often ive always figured a way or thought of an argument that i could tell myself to stop thinking about it and to just move on with my life...

err.. wait... pause... rewind.... i think i better explain what is it thats been boggling my mind all these while.. hmm.. its kinda hard to explain but i will atleast try to tho..

i put this as my fb status just a while ago..
"

yes its been 5 months and so many times ive told myself that things will get better.. but however often or convincing i can be at consoling myself over the fact that my job sucks i still have the doubt that... the 'better' times will never come after all... haih la...

"

if u know me well u'd know i was talking about my job..
hmm.. well my job isnt all bad to be honest.. but i know i can do better.. my job now sucks in some ways but also good in some ways.. the pay is small, the hour is unpredictable, the job is dangerous and the future isnt so bright.. the good thing bout it is i am not stuck behind a computer desk all day, i get to go out to sites and meet new people learn new things gain more experience, and the main reason i chose this job to begin with was so i could continue teaching tuition to zarif(which i cant wait to be over coming december)

yes there are perks and downsides of my job.. and ive gone thru this argument in my head over and over again but i still feel like a loser when i compare my job with my other friends.. i know that some people are just luckier than others.. but why arent i one of the lucky ones?? hmm.. maybe im not grateful enough with what i have now.. or maybe im just too ambitious for my age.. i also dont know.. but one thing i know.. if i dont do anything, forever i will stuck here doing a job that im not happy with. hmm..

and surely this begs the question what is the job that i'm happy with? that i enjoy doing? is there any? maybe there is.. i just dont know what it is yet.. maybe an actor? or a host? or a newsreader? haha something to do with the television.. *berangansangats

ok lets be real.. for now i think i should consider jobs that are related to what i studied in university.. my job now is somehow related to my course.. but...

hmm.. ok honestly the main reason i dislike my job so much is because of the small pay...

haaa looks like this entry is becoming one of my self consolation/motivation session that i often have whenever i think about my lame as job.. and its not fun at all.. well atleast its an entry rather than not having anything to write about.. this entry is fine..

haa another thing i wanna share here.. ive been thinking to start my own vlog.. like luanlegacy.. i will only be talking crap i think.. and definitely itll be in english of course.. but i still need to think about it tho.. is it necessary? can i do it?? haaaa so many questions yet so insignificant to burden my head with right now..

i want to watch kaho na pyar hai that i downloaded.. so later~~~