Jom borak2 update pasal hidup...

 20251118 1422

 

I don’t really know how I should start this post.. its the same statement that I have said numerous times, about its been so long since I last posted anything… I feel like a broken record, saying the same thing over and over.. but who the eff cares?? Hahaha…

So the reason that I am writing now is because I am at work and I literally have nothing else to do… so what better way to kill the time.. I have about 3 hours to go before going home… so I will just say whats on my mind…

1. 5 minutes Sharing during department meeting

 

Yesterday was the Engineering Compliance (EC) department weekly meeting. And before the meeting is adjourned, we have a short sharing session that we have to do by rotation. I was supposed to give my sharing last week, but we had already had such lengthy discussion and it took so long, I thought maybe it was better for me to do it this week instead.

So yesterday I did give my sharing.. its basically a random thought that I had had before when I was riding my bike to work about viewing life from different lenses.. I actually posted about it on my FB… so I will just copy-paste what I had written here

 “

Serius la this morning masa atas moto, kepala aku macam banyak benda yg aku fikir, pasal hidup la… pasal a speck of dust la… as usual la bila da sampai ofis ni terus rasa mcm berlaku kerosakan otak pulak, macam susah pulak nak mendescribe what I was thinking and to put them into words… but I will try nonetheless…

 

Aku ada teringat pulak pasal movie yg ada sorang girl sakit dgn O2 tank who fell in love with a boy who had cancer, then the boy died… sedih jugak la citer dia…

 

Aku baru google, movie tu tajuk dia the fault in our stars, from 2014…

 

Basically dalam movie tu dia ada cakap pasal number 0 to 1, aku tak berapa nak ingat the context but the gist of it, despite the difference between 0 to1 is only 1, but if you consider 0.1, 0.01, 0.001, 0.0001… there are infinite numbers within these 2 integers…

 

Rasa mcm boleh relate dgn hidup kita dalam dunia ni kan…

 

Kalau kita tengok dari satu lensa, mungkin dengan zoom x 1, kita Nampak macam hidup kiter ni standard size je kan… macam biasa biasa je...

 

Then kalau kita zoom out, mungkin zoom x 0.001, tengok dari perspektif yg lebih besar, kita akan nampak sangat kerdil dan macam x wujud pun… tapi kalau kita zoom in, try lensa zoom x 1000, and really focus, we could see a million things as well… mungkin an infite things jugak kot…

 

So yg aku cuba sampaikan kat sini is how we see hidup kita, or specifically our existence, will depend on how we view it, and not just at what… samada kita nak nampak just another speck of dust in the universe, or you wanna focus and be the main, or a major thing that exists… so if you ever felt small or insignificant, like youve accomplished nothing major, take a step back and change lense on how you view life... you could see many things to be grateful for, to be proud of, to feel excited about and just know that your existence matters... cewah...

 

Okla disebabkan aku rasa otak aku makin jammed, I will just leave this thought at this… semoga bermanfaat… I better get my fix of nestum drink to start the day… toodles~~iqq

”

 

During the sharing, I didn’t simply read what I had written on FB, but I kinda made a summary of it.. what surprised me is that everyone was quite taken aback by what I had shared…

I am not sure if it was what i said, or my delivery on what i said... maybe both... maybe they didn’t expect that I would share something deep considering I have always been the goofy and silly one in the team.. 

I am not sure if all, but I would say that most of them clapped… not sure why the clapping though.. but it feels good, I feel appreciated, and feel seen… 

so much so that some of them even brought it up again in the chat group and during lunch.. saying that I had said something deep.. I do agree that it’s a deep tought about life and existence but I am pretty sure that most of us have thought about it too.. am I wrong??

 2. My wife’s work

 Its been almost 2 months my wife started working with Aveva. The work itself is quite standard I think. The usual struggle for the first couple of months trying to catch up and understanding the work flow etc.

She complains about the HR team is mostly Chinese and they speak Chinese among themselves, which is so not professional.

And since my wife is on a fixed term employment, there are some benefits/perks that she is not entitled to.. and that she would often hear from the others in her team talking about… I totally understand how this can be frustrating. My advise to her is to keep sending applications for other jobs.. this aveva is not a permanent position, so there’s like this pass, of not needing to feel guilty to leave the job since in 18 months, it will be over too..

For now this job is the one helping us in paying the bills and staying afloat, so frustrated or not, she will just have to brush it aside, while keep putting effort into finding something better, something permanent, probably somewhere she could potentially retire at.. insyallah..

 

3.       3. Moving office

 

As per my boss, we will leave Dayabumi office by December this year. The exact last date is yet to be finalized. By early December we will be given a box for us to pack our things to be delivered to the new office in CIMB hub in Raja Chulan.

I believe the proposal on the seating arrangement at the new office has been shared, not sure if its finalized yet.. I don’t really mind to be honest.. as long as I have my own table and I have a job, that’s good enough for me..

The new office is nearer to my wife’s office in Tower 3 KLCC, so that’s a good thing.

Also, for the month of January of 2026, everyone from Dayabumi will be working from home.. I suppose its because the new office on level 20 of CIMB hub is expected to be ready for move in by February of 2026.. I already spoke about it with my wife and she said she will be taking the MRT during this one month of me WFHing… I will still send and fetch her to and from UPM MRT during this time. The easier option is to take the KTM but she has had bad experiences with KTM being delayed for an hour so its understandable..

 

 4. Puasa 2 bulan

 

I have gained weight… about 5 kg of weight since September.. I don’t go running as often as I used to, and I don’t really watch I eat.. and since I know I have been less disciplined for the past 2 months, the weight increase is expected..

I still go running once a while.. I am thinking of hitting the gym at almyra.. but ive just been plain lazy..

Another thing I intend to try is to do the intermittent fasting thingy.. or maybe just regular fasting.. I don’t know yet.. also, I don’t know if I am able to.. I don’t know if I have a medical condition or what.. I just cannot go on not eating for a long time.. I would feel gassy/bloated and kinda dizzy.. dalam BM kita panggil perut masuk angin, dan pening kepala.. niat mmg da lama ada nak puasa tapi mcm susah sangat nak commit.. its different in Ramadan coz everyone is also fasting, so for some reason I can cope with the no eating for a long period of time..

Maybe I am just making excuses kan.. I am sure if I really put my mind and focus on doing it, I will be able to.. maybe I will start this fasting thingy after my trip to Gunung Ledang, or maybe I will start in December… we see how it goes.. lolz

 

5.       5. Gunung Ledang & EBC

 

This Saturday 22/11/2025, I will be joining azhan, dino, ain and hairi to go hiking to Gunung Ledang.. Dalino has offered to drive, the hike will start at around 7am, and finishes around 5pm..

The drive to Sagil (Tangkak) will take around 2 hours from Bandar Puteri Bangi, so I guess we will need to travel before 5am.

Makanan kena bawak sendiri2.. I am thinking to buy the Oobun from TikTok and I will bring some for me to eat during the hike..

I hope it will be a fun trip, and that I will be able to complete it without any issue.

It’s a long hike, about 8-9 hours hike, so I expect my calory burned would be over 1000 calories.. I will be sure to track my activity using my garmin watch..

ok nak selit sikit..

Last month or 2 months back, my friend from Auckland Kerry Kline went to the EBC (Everest Base Camp) hiking trip.. I believe the trip was 11 days long.. and he posted a video from someone else who had gone to the EBC trip and the view was phenomenal..

Aku memang memasang Impian to go on the trip too, but its one dream that I have doubt that I will be able to fulfill.. 

macam sedih jugak la bila fikir mcm impossible for me to go on this trip kan… tapi takpe la… bukan semua benda dalam hidup ni kita nak kita akan dapat… tapi tak salah pun untuk memasang Impian… kalau ada rezeki, insyallah dapat… kalau x dapat, maknanya itu la yg terbaik buat diri ini… kita fikir postive je la kan...

6. Podcast Hazeman Huzair & Papayen

 Takda apa nak citer pun… lately I have been listening to a number of podcasts, namely studio sembang Amelia Henderson, Keluar Sekejap KJ & SH, Sembang seram Safwan Nazri, Borak Selebriti Dina Nazir & Faliq.. banyak2 podcasts ni memang aku layan, dan tetamu pun diberi ruang dan peluang yg banyak to share their thoughts, opinions or experiences...

So yg latest aku dengar ni hazeman & papayen and they talk about the randomest things.. ada sekali tu the guest was Madnor who is famous on TikTok about his gigi penjarakan social, I believe the topic was about how men are supposed to be responsible and financial advice to men, especially the ones married with kids etc..

I do like their podcast, tapi yg latest aku tengok ni the guest was Shafiq nasir and I don’t really know what the topic was… I just got so irritated and meluat because of how they do the podcast..

Meluat in english is annoyed, kan??

In my humble opinion, they should’ve allowed the guest they had invited to talk more, ask questions more, bukan nya bebel borak2 berdua je.. if you listen to this episode, aku rasa Shafiq nasir cakap 10% je.. the rest of the episode mmg diorang berdua je borak dan share their own experiences… pada aku macam tak professional dan macam syok sendiri..

tanya soalan pastu baru guest tu jawab sikit diorang da potong, pastu citer pasal pendapat/experience dia sendiri pulak... eh kesian tau tetamu ko tu...

Aku faham je lelaki2 lembut ni memang suka berbual.. suka bila attention tu dapat kat diri mereka sendiri… tapi itu perangai adik adik sangat… awak tu dah late 30s kan… patutnya tahu untuk behave sikit perangai tu, to be more respectful especially to the guest that you invited… I honestly didn’t finish the episode, maybe halfway through I just got too meluat…

Memang la benda yang dia borakkan tu mostly baik dan bermanfaat, tapi macam kesian kat guest tu sikit sangat air time untuk dia…

And I am not the only one who thinks so… aku rasa more than 10 comments I saw pun say the same thing… and I left a comment too… ikut depa la kalau nak ikut ke tak suggestion aku tu…

Oklah sampai di sini saja coretan aku.. it is now 1613… tak lama pun aku bebel… x sampai 2jam pun..

Till next time.. later~~

Just some updates on life events, nothing specific

20251016

 

Salam guys… its been a while… and many things have happened…

It occurred to me a few days ago that I haven’t been writing blogs these days, and that I kinda miss it..

Previously I write as a means to vent out or to just rant about random things… it was also a coping mechanism for me to keep my sanity, help with my mental state and well-being…

Another benefit of writing that I had forgotten is on the importance of keeping record of things that happen so that I could reminisce and smile by myself in the years ahead when i read back what I had written, to remember the good, bad and everything in between.. it will definitely make me grin ear to ear…

And since lately I have been fairly free and not busy with work, I reckon the timing couldn’t be more perfect for me to write something today…

As usual, whatever comes to mind… no structure and nothing specific

1. Finances

 

I feel kinda embarrassed to be talking about my finances to be honest… but who cares, this is for me and mine alone… theres no reason for me to feel embarrassed… furthermore, its already happened and nothing I can do about it.. might as well just write it here as a memory…
so on this topic, it all started when my wife quit her job in March and I had to be the sole provider for the family, paid for all the bills, food and expenses… and truth be told I couldn’t afford it all by myself… so I did what I must… I applied for a personal loan, and I sold my car… its not a decision that I would simply make if there was no necessity for it… but after considering everything, I knew I had to do it…

And thank God, I do believe it was the right decision… now my monthly commitment has reduced, as the new loan tenure is longer, and I have some money in bank for emergency… I even managed to apply for ASB loan, and the money for the ASB loan repayment for the 1^st year has already been allocated… for the following years, I will just use the dividend received in early January to pay for them… so I think this is a good and wise financial decision… good job izuan.. pat on the back!! I have also paid for my kids school annual fees for 2026… I thought since I have that extra money, might as well spend it on the essentials like the schools annual fees.

 

2. My wife has started work

Another topic that I believe is related to finances, my wife has started working since 29/9/25.. the company is called AVEVA and the office is in KLCC tower 3… and she also got a pay increase… so that’s a good thing… I do believe and hope that in the following months she would be able to help with the bill payments, groceries or anything… like she used to when she was working with akzo… so that I could save some money… hahaha…

We go to work together by bike, considering the distance and the traffic to KLCC in the morning is a nightmare… I would drop her at LRT pasar seni, and she will take the train to KLCC… if theres time, and we leave the house early, I would send her to KLCC directly.. its been 3 weeks and its all good so far… except for the day that I want to play pickleball, then she will have to take train & KTM back to bandar puteri, like yesterday…

3. Pickleball

Speaking of pickleball, I am playing with my work friends here at BV.. we have this tournament and Tengku Reza is the one who is making all the arrangements.. if it isn’t because of the tournament, I don’t think I wanna join them… I feel bad to ask my wife to take the train back home… so the tournament started yesterday and I played 2 games, lost 1 and won 1… it would’ve been nice if I had won both games but its okay.. better luck next round.. my partner is usop from PRS… I think it’s a good opportunity for me to socialize more with my colleagues, get to know them better, and maybe become friends with them… maybe…

Besides playing with my work friends, I also play with my friends from Bandar Puteri… they are also my Auckland friends Azhan, dino, Ain, erwan and hairi… one time even Raul joined us to play pickleball at Double Bounce Semenyih, its an hour drive from his house in Sungai Besi…quite surprised that he was willing considering how selfish he could be sometimes… i was amazed..

I have also bought paddles and balls from Lotus’s supermarket that costed me RM30 only… and since the price is really cheap, I know better to not have high expectations…

this begs the question, is the quality/type of paddle that big of deal though?? I don’t know… I don’t think so… and since I know I am not playing professionally, a cheap paddle would suffice in my opinion… unlike some of the BVM pickle-ballers whom I assume are just loaded with money, and do not mind spending hundreds or even thousands for their own paddle and balls… 

I am not judging… their money, their decision… I know where I am at with my finances and desires, so RM30 is good enough for me…

 4. New couch and new AC.

 Just to share, I bought new items for myself…well, not entirely for me though coz I bought the Trikings couch/sofa-bed that I have always wanted to place in the extra room that both my wife and I used as an office when we WFH… the couch is super comfy and I love it…

Another big purchase that I made recently is that I bought a 3HP Daikin inverter air-conditioner from Shopee… the AC was just delivered yesterday… and I am planning to have it installed this Saturday… I want to replace the existing 2hp Haier AC in my living room coz on hot days, I can barely feel the cool air… I know its quite reckless of me to buy the AC considering its not considered an essential item… but i dont care!! 

Atleast I know I am not wasting the money on useless things… and I am using shopee pay later, so I don’t feel too shocked having to pay RM3.5k for the AC… payments are split to 6 payments of RM600 monthly…and its 0% interest... so I hope its fine… no more shopee paylater for me… 

owh, while I am on the topic of money (boring kan asyik cakap pasal duit jer)… I have applied to withdraw my KWSP account 2 money for the house loan balance payment… my intention is that if this withdraw application is successful and the money is credited to the house loan account, I will not have to pay for the loan repayment for a few months… so that I could have some money saved… I am really not making hasty or silly decisions here… just trying to everything afloat, head above water, so to speak…

 5. Hiking at Bukit Gasing, PJ

Last weekend I joined azhan dino ain and hairi on a hiking trip at bukit Gasing.. I don’t often go hiking so it was a nice experience… out of all of them , I am the least experienced I think… I even recorded some videos, compiled and uploaded them on youtube… here is the link https://youtu.be/2Sp9HpkITa8?si=uSuKNCWAieJLB_Jr

I had wanted to join them for the hike at bukit kutu, but I couldn’t… I had to look after my kids since my wife had a teambuilding event in Malacca that weekend… hopefully I can join them in their next hiking trips..

 I guess that’s pretty much it that I want to write today.. I have some work to do… some new documents and clients response to review and reply… till next time… later~~

 

 

Let's update something

 20241216

Ada a few things on my mind that I feel like talking… just for the fun of it… its not so urgent pun for me to vent, but I think it would benefit me somehow as I plan to write about them in English 100%.. I will try tho… so without further ado, here goes…

Pergi vacation overseas

The reason I include this as one of the topics of my rantings today is because earlier today I saw on Instagram shadha’s post about her vacationing in the UK, I think. Truth be told, its not like I am longing for an overseas vacation, it just seems nice.. and I know me wanting to experience that is not a necessity but more to my wants.. as long as I am able to recognize this fact, I think I will be fine.. I am not one who is willing to spend tens of thousands for a week or perhaps maximum of 2 weeks of vacation… there are other pressing matters that I need to address with the limited financial resources that I have…

But it would be nice tho to be able to afford such vacations once in a while… to just chill and relax in a cozy cottage in the country side, enjoying the cool wind, unpolluted air, the view…

Insyallah one day when the time is right…

Lazy Lazy Lazy…

This is in reference to yesterday, where the whole day I felt super lazy and not in the mood for anything… both my wife and i… we just laid down, sleep for hours till our heads hurt…

But I managed to go for a run in the morning… perhaps me going for that 40 minutes run was the main reason I was feeling extremely tired yesterday… and even in the outrageous tiredness and laziness, my wife prepared breakfast lunch and dinner for us…so not a total lazy day after all… I guess the remedy to this is to just keep moving… if we feed onto the laziness, we will become even more subdued and unmotivated…

Too much of anything is poison, this includes resting… too much of resting or lazing around is also not good, could be poison to us… so remember, everything must be taken in moderation…

Masalah kewangan atau more to kekangan kewangan

Not sure where to start… this feeling of wanting to buy many things, that I consider as not necessities, so I will try my best to put them on hold... as per number 1, there are other pressing matters that I should allocate my financial resources for.. the annual fees for the kids school, also school preparation, buying new books, maybe new bags, new shoes, new uniforms… 

Its not that I have financial problems, its more like financial constraints, which will result in me not being able to spend money impulsively, or lavishly… must be frugal in everything… oh how nice it is if I could just splurge once in a while… well, maybe this is my ujian from God… its okay though, my ujian is not that difficult, I think… hahaha

Doa supaya sentiasa rasa cukup

The concept of feeling enough and not being greedy, I always pray to God that I will always have this.. being grateful for what we have, no matter how little… coz I know it doesn’t take much, it doesn’t cost high to make me feel happy, to entertain myself… I love simple things…

But I admit there are times that I wish for more in life, perhaps it’s the syaitan doing his job kan… I just have to keep reminding myself what I have is enough for my family and i… and what we have, where we are now is the best there is for us… insyallah, to always have faith that this is the best case for us for now, it is what we deserve… 

Of course its not wrong to want more… to have a drive, or ambitions to achieve higher… but not to the point where we lose gratitude… my remedy for being greedy is to always reflect on what I have achieved, what I have been blessed with, and insyallah, no more yearning for something I don’t deserve…

Nak improve diri, improve kerja, better salary etc 

Feels like the topics are somehow related to one another kan… hahaha… speaking of wanting to achieve more, accomplish more… I am glad that I still have this ambition... I want to further studies, get my masters degree… or pursue professional engineer Ir title… this is of course not without its challenges though… but I am glad that I am able to recognize these challenges and know that the timing is probably not the best for me now… and knowing that masters degree or this Ir is something I can always pursue even later in life, this helps… so there is no unnecessary pressure being put on me to achieve this and that before a certain age… I can still pursue this when I am in my 50s… or 60s…

Yes it would be better to achieve them earlier, to get better salary etc… other people can do that because they can afford to… I feel like now is not my time… as long as I don’t give up, I will be good… pursue it when I can, when I am able, when the time is right… insyallah…

About the better salary part, my rezeki had already been decreed by God, so why fret about it… why bother why bother why bother…

Movie reviews – Carry on, lucky baskhar, the expert, conquer lahad datu, Amaran, one cent thief

Carry-on with taron egerton, Jason bateman… I like this movie… a bit slow in the beginning, then started to pick up from the middle to end… overall I give it 7 out of 10… do I wanna watch it again?? Maybe…

Lucky Baskhar is an Indian, tamil I think, movie about a guy who was struggling financially… theres a comedic vibe to the movie, making the viewers feel like it’s a chill movie, and enjoyable… no lovey dovey scene, mostly about family love… some aspects of the movie about the BR, banking thinking, rigging the stock market etcetra, I don’t completely understand it but its not a matter because I still enjoy the movie… I give it 8.5 out of 10… will I watch it again?? Probably not… because its close to 3 hours long

The expert is a malaysian movie with aaron aziz, Syafiq kyle, mimi lana, remy ishak and that other big guy I don’t know the name of… I like this movie, I think the director is a Malaysian Chinese, I can see the style of the movie is quite similar to American heist movies… with the taste of Malaysia, portraying the troubled relationships between the father and the kids…

I would give this movie 7 out of 10… and yes I will watch it again…

Conquer lahad datu is based off a true story about the attack on Lahad datu by the terrorist from Sulu if I am not mistaken.. they claimed their rights on the land being the Sulu Sultanate kin, something like that… it is an okay movie… that part when the police was beheaded took me by surprise I must say… and when anding got shot, that’s when the story picked up for me…

I give it 6 out of 10… I probably wont watch it again…

Amaran is an tamil movie… also based on true story… and it’s a sad movie… hats off to the actress who played indhu, the wife of the major Mukund… she promised to not cry at the funeral of her husband and she didn’t… another sad scene is at the end when they show the actual footage of major Mukund singing the song to his daughter… I give this movie 8 out of 10… do I wanna watch it again?? Yeah sure…

New phone for my son

I probably should not have bought him a new smart phone… technically its his first phone… and he is only 8 years old… the main reason I did it is because I keep seeing the ads on tiktok of the phone techno 30 5g… and for its features the price of Rm450 is really cheap… its only 1/3 the cost of my realme phone, but with similar specifications.

Also, I figured he could use it when he goes for his math class on Sunday… both my wife and I will still monitor how he uses the phone though, its not complete freedom for him to use as he pleases… also, previously he was using the old oppo phone which my wife bought in 2020, and its already in poor condition… its fine I guess, its not that expensive…

This morning I saw his face on whatsapp… he knew how to add his own photo on whatsapp… seeing his cute face makes me happy…

Owh, just to mention… buying that phone makes me feel excited, and I just felt like I needed to have some kind of excitement in life right now… so thus far, that purchase is not something to regret about…

I think that is all for now… hopefully I will update my blog more frequently from now on… though I doubt that… hahaha…

Till then.. later~~

Lets vent!!

At the start of the day I was feeling okay, nothing in particular that is making me feeling unease or unhappy…

Then I turned on my laptop and open web browser and saw one of the bookmarks I have which is the iecex cert website, then I went on to search Aida’s name and there it was… her name is there… she is certified and I am not… then I was reminded of the problem I had with regards to my own certification… and that made me feel so down and perhaps upset…

I don’t know what I should do… I probably should inform my boss if this, but I just don’t want to… its making me feel ashamed sort of… that I failed the iecex practical test… which is more frustrating to me is when the training provider didn’t even bother to inform me that I had failed…

Maybe I will txt him again, coz I think I did pass the 001 atleast…

Enough of being upset… its still early in the morning and I don’t want my whole day to get ruined because of something silly such as this…

Next topic… Proton perdana 2.0…

This is such a random, and probably impulsive decision… I had made a booking to try to purchase a new car… proton person of the year 2018… I went to lotus bandar baru bangi for some groceries shopping and I saw the car there, decided to have a look and it was inexplicable thing that pushed me to actually made the booking for the car… the booking is RM100, and the car dealer will assist to apply for loan for the car… if not approved then I will get the RM100 back… if approved, I get the car…

I don’t know if it’s a good thing and I have doubts coz it will be a new loan for the hire purchase, something that I feel I should undertake at this point of time…

But u know what, if its meant to be it will be… if it isn’t, then its also okay… if the loan is somehow approved and I get a new car, I will sell the axia, which I believe can give me approximately 10k… with the extra cash, I can clear my credit card debt, or I can just use it to splurge… lolz… probably the former…

Moving on to the next thing on my mind…

My wife received an invitation to apply for Sr HR position at Vertiv… well this is good news… I hope she gets the job… I don’t know if it is a good job, but I can only pray that her new work would be better… come to think of it, any job would be better than the one she currently has… here is hoping…

I don’t even want to elaborate on why I said that… suffice to say that her colleagues and boss are from hell… so I really hope she finds a better a job… not necessarily a better salary, just a better job in terms of the people and work environment… coz honestly, with our current living arrangement, with 10k/month for the household is already enough in my opinion…

Ok.. lets move on to the next one… Grab driver…

Last night I did grab again… its been 4 or 5 months I have on hiatus.. just because I didn’t feel like doing it… last Friday I did after the 5 months pause, and last night I did again…

I have to say the customer demand at bangi area is not as high as bukit jalil… most of the time I just waited for the ping… then I decided to drive up north to be near KL, then I managed to make 5 bookings there, which amounted to ~RM50… I know its not much but its better to have something than nothing…

Last Friday I made ~RM90… not bad I guess…

I don’t know if I will do again tonight… I will have to see if I will be in the mood or not… I want to, but I feel like my wife doesn’t want me to work tonight… coz she said it will be better for me to do during weekend so I can get more, coz I will be doing longer hours during the day…

My issue with weekend is that I don’t like driving during the day coz its hot… I prefer driving at night coz it is much relaxing and easy… I actually enjoy driving while my Desperate Housewives are playing on my car android player… huhu…

Ok next topic… bonus and increment…

Last week I had my performance review with my boss, which in my opinion went quite okay… nothing bad in particular… I don’t know how my performance is in his eyes… but I feel like I am meeting all the expectations, except on the renewable energy section…

I don’t really have high expectations or hopes with regards to the bonus or increment… I think I will get some, but I know better not to have really high expectations…

I am just so excited to be getting the extra cash from the bonus payment… same like the extra cash that I will get from selling my axia, I will use it to clear my credit card debt, and all the other debts, whichever applicable…

Hahaha… its such a grown up thing kan…

And I want to take my family to eat seoul garden… its been quite some time since our last seoul garden buffet…

Next grown up topic that I feel excited to share is about the Renewable Energy Technical Day…

Last week, my bosses boss Ir Dr Petter gave a talk on Renewable Energy… I enjoyed his presentation thoroughly…

He talked about the why, how, what etc.. he touched on the 1.5 degC by year 2100, the paris agreement, policy on banning ICE, reducing CO2 level, CCUS, Fuel Cell Vehicle, H2 production, Green Energy… In the 2.5 hours of his presentation, not once that I felt bored… I was so engaged and I have even more respect toward him… I also happen to care for our Earth just as much and quite aware of the importance to have Green Energy etc… so Go Green!!

On an unrelated topic, a few nights before, I watched a documentary on Netflix which talked about the meat industry in the US, and how the cow cattle ranches are producing so much CH4, which is a Green House Gas that contributes to Global warming…

After watching the documentary, I feel like being a vegan is such a good thing… but I don’t know if I can go vegan all the way… I love cheese so much…

They have cheese alternatives in the US, which is made from nuts, perhaps almond, but I don’t know if we have that in Malaysia… perhaps in a few more years we will…

Maybe when I am older and financially more stable, I will opt to being a vegan… coz believe it or not, being a vegan aint cheap yall…. 

I think that is all for now… till next time… daaa~~~ 

Kemurungan sikit... tapi takmo la dwell in it...

 

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Lately ni rasa macam selalu pulak mengalami kemurungan… although I don’t think that I am facing a major depression episode, but it still sucks…

The first thing, or the main reason that I believe is the major contributor to me feeling depressed is due to the fact that I had just been scammed… I lost about RM300 to the scammer… and I was about to get angry at my wife because apparently she had the similar experience before, but she never told me, never warned me… and I felt quite angry because she didn’t…. then I took a step back and really evaluate the situation, I really shouldn’t blame her, because this was my mistake, and blaming other people is just unhealthy and will not solve the problem…

After being scammed, feeling sad and angry, I understand why she was reluctant or didn’t want to talk to me about it… I feel the same way too… because its not a pleasant thing and I would not want to relive the experience, nor talk about it… so I understand why she didn’t tell me…

But I think its good to talk about it, so we could move on and also warn others to not be the next victims…

Anyhoot, I think I am pretty much over my sadness or upset feeling about the getting scammed incident… I just want to move on…

Next…

The last weekend I was feeling very gloomy and not in the mood for anything… I still do actually, but I really don’t want to dwell in it too long, coz I know it don’t bring me any good…

over the weekend i didnt do much, spent most of the time at home, or in bed... which is the typical behavior of depressed people... not sure on the level of severity though coz today i got up and went to work... hopefully, it will go away soon... 

Next... of being jealous or envious and feeling sad of own self....

This morning I found out that a friend of mine had just gotten a new job, and I can only assume it comes with a better bigger paycheck, and the first thing that came to mind was that I was feeling envious and kinda sad, thinking of my position at the moment, it is far behind my other friends…

I know its unhealthy to compare yourself to others, I guess its one of those times when syaitan will come to you and start whispering, putting unpleasant thoughts into your mind, so you would feel bad and not grateful with what you have in your life…

Again, just be positive, and be happy for the friend… it’s the right and the better thing to do, rather than to feel bad and jealous of others’ successes.

And we need to always count our blessings kan, and to remember that what we have now, the position that we are currently in, this is what is best for us at the moment, and insyaallah when the time comes, when the time is right, we too will get to experience success… just keep doing what you do, and work hard, and make doa, insyaallah our time will come… lagi satu, success is not only measured by the amount of money that you have, it is different to different people… surely I am successful in other aspects kan…. As long as we are happy and content and grateful with ourselves, that is also a measure of success if you ask me….

And also if the type of success that you crave doesn’t come, that’s fine to… surely we have other things to be grateful for… surely Allah is fair…

 

Oklah da malas nak bebel banyak2… nanti tulis lagi… toodles~~

bual sikit lah...

 

I think I am becoming more and more emotional these days… maybe a little bit too sensitive…

Easily get sad or unnecessarily troubled by things that are in my head…

1stly, about my relationship with my kids…

I don’t know but I dread the day that they no longer want to play with me…

I just get so sad thinking that there will come a day that would be the last for me to pick them up and carry them on my hip…

I am very close to my daughters… and soon enough they will grow up and I can no longer do the things I do with them now, like carrying them on my shoulder… or taking them to bath… I am such a clingy dad… is it because I love them too much?? And that’s not wrong or bad now, is it?

I just hate the feeling that everyday the day that they will stop being my little girls is coming nearer and nearer… oh my god I am such a mess…

I know I should just cherish and appreciate it all now… but I don’t want it to end… am I being greedy??

 

Ok enough about that… heres another sad thing on my mind…

About 3 weeks ago, a friend of mine Tengkuk (maybe not a friend but an acquaintance) suffered the loss of his wife, after battling cancer for 13 years…

I know I am not that close to tengkuk or his wife but I just get sad of the news…

I cant help but to reflect it upon my life… I don’t know how I will ever be able to face life should the same were to happen to me… honestly, I feel like my will for this life will be gone as well… having to bury your spouse is possibly the single most painful thing in the world… am reminded of when Shuib the comedian had to bury his wife, whom he lost to Covid, about 2 years ago…

Oh yes I cried, although I don’t know them personally but I couldn’t help but to feel sad too…

 

I know that life has got to go on, but it will be sooo freakin difficult… I don’t want to even think about it, coz I cant…

 

Ada lagi sorang facebook friend, dia shared about her son yg warded sebab ada masalah pernafasan apa tah… dan keadaan dia agak kritikal juo…

I just cannot because I keep imagining what if its my child… so sebab aku taknak tengok post tu, aku pun unfollow that friend… huhu…

Iols so cannot la when it comes to kids…

 

Ok lets move on to the next thing on my mind… about this year raya…

I feel like this year raya is the least festive in my life.. I think, the only day that felt like raya is the 1^st day… lepas tu rasa macam cuti biasa je… theres no kemeriahan raya despite the long holiday… is it because I am getting old??

Balik pekan nenas pun xda beraya mana2 pun… was it because of the heat?? Panas nak mam kan sekarang…

After balik KL, I had several open house invitations but I just didn’t feel like going pulak… ada yg aku lupa, ada yg aku tak rapat so I would rather not go… huhu.. all in all raya was such a meh…

 

Ok next… iphone

Since the incident befallen onto my iphone 13, and the shattering of the back screen, I have been wanting to buy a new iphone… tapi sampai sekarang x beli2 sebab mcm membazir pun ada… coz this phone can still function, despite some minor nuisance due to the dead pixel issue…

Bila jalan2 mall je mesti rasa mcm nak angkat je iphone, bayar la guna credit card yg boleh buat installment tu kan.. tapi lepas tu mesti akan second guess, do I really need to buy it now or should I just wait for iphone 15??

Lepas da balik rumah, meratip balik lepas tengok phone sekarang yg agak sedih ni… huhu.. x faham kan…

 

Ok next… debt consolidation…

I have already submitted all the requested documents… I hope it all goes well, and by the end of the month, should be okay kot… dapat la mengurangkan monthly commitment aku…

I know it the long run memang rugi sbb dia extend the tenure and I had to pay consultation fee 10% tu…. Tapi I care more about the reduced monthly commitment tu… dalam 500+ jugak dapat reduced… so aku proceed je la…

Lagi satu yg aku boleh buat to reduce my monthly commitment is to stop the takaful for my parents…

Yes mmg rugi sbb da setahun lebih jugak bayar… tapi kalau da tak mampu nak buat caner kan… lagipun takaful utk parents tu more like a saving je… bukan nyer pampasan hibah utk ganti gaji tu… yang tu takleh nak stop la…

 

Ok next thing…. New car…

Sebab nye my wife said kereta bmw x1 tu cantik… and I looked it up.. wow cantik sangat ni… terus rasa mcm nak angkat satu… tapi maybe lagi 5 tahun baru mampu kot… hoho… semoga tercapai hasrat nak beli kereta bmw ni…

Besides that, I have also checked out kia Cerrato 2023 yang cun sangat tu… review pun bagus… itu pun kena tunggu 3 tahun lagi baru boleh angkat la kot.. sekarang nak focus kat house renovation je dulu… guna je lah kereta yg ada ni dulu… Cuma tak salah pun nak pasang angan angan awal kan…

 

 

Next… training iecex inspector…

Last 2 week training tu… all in all, memang best dan sangat berguna aku rasa… Cuma penat sikit nak menjawab exam tu… ada 3  exam, each exam was 4 hours long…

Agak tepu jugak kepala ni… pastu penat dia takleh nak dibawak bincang sbb naik motor panas2 tu… rasa macam sangat demanding, especially at my age…

the training costed close to 12k and of course la aku kena bond dengan company ni kan for 4 freaking years... but its okay... i have no intention to change company pun buat masa ni... maybe aku akan keje sini sampai retired kot... why not... its a good company kan...

Next… new gym?

Gym yg CF kat endah parade tu ok je tapi its quite far from my house… sekarang ni rasa macam nak ambik membership yg dekat anytime fitness yg dekat tropika bukit jalil tu, its like 5 minutes from my house… tapi dia mahal sikit kot… yang CF tu dia bagi aku discounted price, RM155/month sbb sebelum ni aku dah join situ...
yang anytime ni kalau x silap aku dia RM189 per month... I think I will go ask about the membership this Friday la.. masa hari yg wfh nanti… kalau nak ambik pun maybe for 6 month je sebab aku dah nak pindah bangi kan…

semalam aku gigih pergi jogging pusing area rumah ni jer... memang best dapat mengeluarkan peluh... tapi harini mcm sakit2 badan dan rasa sengal2 pulak... adoi... sangat tidak fit...

tapi aku memang nak repeat lagi sbb aku suka berpeluh ni... maybe not tonight... maybe esok lusa... night runs are fun!!

oklah dah taktau nak bual apa dah... baik aku buat keje yg melambak ni... toodaloo~~