I think I am becoming more and more emotional these days… maybe a little bit too sensitive…
Easily get sad or unnecessarily troubled by things that are in my
head…
1stly, about my relationship with my kids…
I don’t know but I dread the day that they no longer want to play
with me…
I just get so sad thinking that there will come a day that would
be the last for me to pick them up and carry them on my hip…
I am very close to my daughters… and soon enough they will grow up
and I can no longer do the things I do with them now, like carrying them on my
shoulder… or taking them to bath… I am such a clingy dad… is it because I love
them too much?? And that’s not wrong or bad now, is it?
I just hate the feeling that everyday the day that they will stop
being my little girls is coming nearer and nearer… oh my god I am such a mess…
I know I should just cherish and appreciate it all now… but I don’t
want it to end… am I being greedy??
Ok enough about that… heres another sad thing on my mind…
About 3 weeks ago, a friend of mine Tengkuk (maybe not a friend
but an acquaintance) suffered the loss of his wife, after battling cancer for
13 years…
I know I am not that close to tengkuk or his wife but I just get
sad of the news…
I cant help but to reflect it upon my life… I don’t know how I will
ever be able to face life should the same were to happen to me… honestly, I feel
like my will for this life will be gone as well… having to bury your spouse is
possibly the single most painful thing in the world… am reminded of when Shuib
the comedian had to bury his wife, whom he lost to Covid, about 2 years ago…
Oh yes I cried, although I don’t know them personally but I couldn’t
help but to feel sad too…
I know that life has got to go on, but it will be sooo freakin
difficult… I don’t want to even think about it, coz I cant…
Ada lagi sorang facebook friend, dia shared about her son yg
warded sebab ada masalah pernafasan apa tah… dan keadaan dia agak kritikal juo…
I just cannot because I keep imagining what if its my child… so sebab
aku taknak tengok post tu, aku pun unfollow that friend… huhu…
Iols so cannot la when it comes to kids…
Ok lets move on to the next thing on my mind… about this year raya…
I feel like this year raya is the least festive in my life.. I think, the only day that felt like raya is the 1st day… lepas tu rasa macam cuti biasa je… theres no kemeriahan raya despite the long holiday… is it because I am getting old??
Balik pekan nenas pun xda beraya mana2 pun… was it because of the
heat?? Panas nak mam kan sekarang…
After balik KL, I had several open house invitations but I just didn’t
feel like going pulak… ada yg aku lupa, ada yg aku tak rapat so I would rather
not go… huhu.. all in all raya was such a meh…
Ok next… iphone
Since the incident befallen onto my iphone 13, and the shattering
of the back screen, I have been wanting to buy a new iphone… tapi sampai
sekarang x beli2 sebab mcm membazir pun ada… coz this phone can still function,
despite some minor nuisance due to the dead pixel issue…
Bila jalan2 mall je mesti rasa mcm nak angkat je iphone, bayar la
guna credit card yg boleh buat installment tu kan.. tapi lepas tu mesti akan
second guess, do I really need to buy it now or should I just wait for iphone
15??
Lepas da balik rumah, meratip balik lepas tengok phone sekarang yg
agak sedih ni… huhu.. x faham kan…
Ok next… debt consolidation…
I have already submitted all the requested documents… I hope it
all goes well, and by the end of the month, should be okay kot… dapat la mengurangkan
monthly commitment aku…
I know it the long run memang rugi sbb dia extend the tenure and I
had to pay consultation fee 10% tu…. Tapi I care more about the reduced monthly
commitment tu… dalam 500+ jugak dapat reduced… so aku proceed je la…
Lagi satu yg aku boleh buat to reduce my monthly commitment is to
stop the takaful for my parents…
Yes mmg rugi sbb da setahun lebih jugak bayar… tapi kalau da tak
mampu nak buat caner kan… lagipun takaful utk parents tu more like a saving je…
bukan nyer pampasan hibah utk ganti gaji tu… yang tu takleh nak stop la…
Ok next thing…. New car…
Sebab nye my wife said kereta bmw x1 tu cantik… and I looked it
up.. wow cantik sangat ni… terus rasa mcm nak angkat satu… tapi maybe lagi 5 tahun
baru mampu kot… hoho… semoga tercapai hasrat nak beli kereta bmw ni…
Besides that, I have also checked out kia Cerrato 2023 yang cun sangat
tu… review pun bagus… itu pun kena tunggu 3 tahun lagi baru boleh angkat la
kot.. sekarang nak focus kat house renovation je dulu… guna je lah kereta yg ada
ni dulu… Cuma tak salah pun nak pasang angan angan awal kan…
Next… training iecex inspector…
Last 2 week training tu… all in all, memang best dan sangat
berguna aku rasa… Cuma penat sikit nak menjawab exam tu… ada 3 exam, each exam was 4 hours long…
Agak tepu jugak kepala ni… pastu penat dia takleh nak dibawak
bincang sbb naik motor panas2 tu… rasa macam sangat demanding, especially at my
age…
the training costed close to 12k and of course la aku kena bond dengan company ni kan for 4 freaking years... but its okay... i have no intention to change company pun buat masa ni... maybe aku akan keje sini sampai retired kot... why not... its a good company kan...
Next… new gym?
Gym yg CF kat endah parade tu ok je tapi its quite far from my
house… sekarang ni rasa macam nak ambik membership yg dekat anytime fitness yg
dekat tropika bukit jalil tu, its like 5 minutes from my house… tapi dia mahal
sikit kot… yang CF tu dia bagi aku discounted price, RM155/month sbb sebelum ni aku dah join situ...
yang anytime ni kalau x silap aku dia RM189 per month... I think I will go ask about the membership this Friday la.. masa
hari yg wfh nanti… kalau nak ambik pun maybe for 6 month je sebab aku dah nak
pindah bangi kan…
semalam aku gigih pergi jogging pusing area rumah ni jer... memang best dapat mengeluarkan peluh... tapi harini mcm sakit2 badan dan rasa sengal2 pulak... adoi... sangat tidak fit...
tapi aku memang nak repeat lagi sbb aku suka berpeluh ni... maybe not tonight... maybe esok lusa... night runs are fun!!
oklah dah taktau nak bual apa dah... baik aku buat keje yg melambak ni... toodaloo~~
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